Is it bad if I miss orientation :(

amother

Poppy

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 8:15 pm

amother Tangerine wrote:

I'm on the way to orientation now, but only because of the optics...

Sorry to tell you this, but this is child number nine, do you REALLY think the teacher is going to tell me something new? Something important that I need to know? Yes, she has to do homework (and it's HER homework btw, not mine). I got it. Anything else?

I go more for my kids sake and to make them feel good then to hear what the teacher has to say.... they're so excited for me to see their classroom, seats, and hallways.

chestnut

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 8:20 pm

amother Feverfew wrote:

I don't ever go. Don't go. You are exhausted the last thing you need to do is go there now. Majority of people go out of obligation...not because they want to. No reason to feel guilty. You are taking care of your family. My kids would much rather me be home with them than to leave them with a babysitter. I do go to pta because I find that purposeful.

Did you miss the part about her daughter being excited for her to go cause she prepared something for her?

amother

Feverfew

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 8:54 pm

chestnut wrote:

Did you miss the part about her daughter being excited for her to go cause she prepared something for her?

I didn't. Her daughter will bring it home tom and she can make a big deal about it then. She is exhausted. It is unfair to make parents to shlep to the schools at night during Yom tov season for this. I work full time. I leave my house super early. I am exhausted at night after I finished my entire day of working, cooking, doing homework, watching the kids play outside, bedtime etc....no need to feel guilty that you don't want to then get all dressed up to go to your kids school. You can still be a great mom without going and make your kid feel special.

amother

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 9:04 pm

I missed orientation.

My daughter was surely disappointed. I explained to her the reason why I didn’t participate tonight like I usually do. She knows I love her and she validated my reason. She was very sad bc initially I was going to go but I told her I have a (small) special item that I will give her in the morning and that I can’t wait to see her surprise letter tomm that she wrote when she comes home from school.

I overthought and was on the brink of going. I listened to my body and tomm is a fresh new day iyh. Layla Tov !!

amother

Dahlia

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 9:24 pm

Op, you did the right thing!

Only about half the parents come anyway. It's not a performance (a performanceI would push very very hard). She can bring her letter home tomorrow as you say.

This is something dd will forget about next week.

While I gain from seeing the room and hearing the teacher, when it's hard to go I am only pushing myself to go out of respect that the teacher is coming out.

If it's REALLY hard, like newborn, I do not go and csll the teacher to heat their policies.

amother

Freesia

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 9:50 pm

Lol op came on here to tell you as others did that only about 50 percent of moms showed up tonight . You absolutely did the right thing. When I had a bunch of little kids I never went and my kids were fine. Now I have older kids and I have more energy to do these stuff so I went.

Take care of yourself first. Good job .

amother

Poppy

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 9:53 pm

amother Feverfew wrote:

But it's not your daughters fault that you work full time and are exhausted.....

amother

Dahlia

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:04 pm

amother Poppy wrote:

But it's not your daughters fault that you work full time and are exhausted.....

Poppy, your daughter is not at orientation and is likely asleep. Why are you guilting these mothers? While dd is excited for you to see her teacher and classroom, her essay on the bulletin board, and her note on her desk she will be just fine if you miss it because you have a lot on your plate. Especially as she'll be in good company with a hefty percent of her class.

She'll bring home her note.

Yeah make some of an effort. But please. In the scheme of things orientation just is not important. It is not something to knock yourself out for.

Sewsew_mom

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:15 pm

amother Foxglove wrote:

As I teacher this question always stumps me. I’m not sure how to answer. Do you expect me to repeat verbatim everything I spoke to the mothers privately for you? Or do you want me to say na you didn’t miss much and then make a fool out of the whole evening?

Usually cold dry information is sent as emails and WhatsApp broadcasts. The open house orientation four parents is to get to know the teacher on a human level, hear and discuss her educational approach on various classroom related issues, to ask questions and to foster a comfortable relationship with parents. My open house was full of give and take from the parents, some laughter and a good vibe was generated.

I hold no judgment on those who couldn’t make it, I have unavoidably missed some of my own childrens but asking her if anything important was said my best a little pointless.

Sure. I'll answer this. I'm not a teacher..
But I would think it shows that a parent cares.
And as a parent I can ask is there anything specific I need to know that I won't figure out in my own. Or is there a specific paper I should have gotten that maybe you can send with my daughter?
I would never expect a word for word - nor would I want honestly.
But if there was something super important that I would be running like a chicken without a head out to orientation - your welcome to share with me.
What you say by orientation isn't pointless.. But it isn't life altering either. Sometimes other things take priority. And that doesn't mean as a parent that I don't care.

amother

Firebrick

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:16 pm

OP you do what you can! I'm just 2 weeks postpartum and went - but got there late and missed half the teachers presentations. Honestly I don't think my kids cared that I went, the teachers were shocked that I showed up, and there were many parents who didn't go. You do you.

I kind of wish I hadn't gone. I don't think my presence added anything, and I had to cope with the newborn baby screaming the whole way home from their car seat Sad

amother

Dahlia

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:53 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

What bothers me the most is you saying she's my ninth kid... So what? She doesn't deserve less than the first second or third. If you went by those you should go for her as well.

Actually, what I read is people saying they have older kids so they have more energy to go now.

But I think people are saying 9th to show their bona fides and that they've been around the block and have figured out what's important and what's not.

Someone asked where do you see 50%....I live in Lakewood and have around 9 kids and I see in that range when I go to orientation. Maybe a little more.

I try my best to go, but not even because of my kids. It is seriously not that big a deal to them a few days later or even a few minutes after they ask you about it n the morning. I make an effort to go because I think it's kavodick to come out if the teacher came out.

(Any kid old enough to see you come home from orientation really does not care if you attend)

There is nothing earth shattering happening that it's worth straining yourself.

If some areas see 100% kol hakavod.

amother

Dahlia

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:57 pm

amother Dahlia wrote:

Just want to add (and I said this upthread) that I do see the value in going. And I appreciate the teachers making the effort to provide give us a chance to meet. Just dont think the value is worth going crazy for.

amother

Phlox

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

My baby kept me up all night and I don’t want to make my daughter in fourth grade daughter feel bad because she said she prepared something and can’t wait for me to go ….

My eyes are Closing. She’s a very sensitive child.

What would you do?

I had orientation last night (5th grade) and tonight (8th grade) I told my 8th grader I just can’t make it. The school is 40 minutes away, and I didn’t sleep well last night.