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The Official Jokes Thread
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 1:49 pm
these are wonderful! Thank you all for sharing and bringing laughter to others! I have a family member who isn't well and these jokes are making them smile Smile
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YounginBP




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 2:32 pm
amother Nemesia wrote:
Why was the tomato blushing?
Cuz he saw the salad dressing.


Why should you knock before opening the refrigerator?
Because you might see the salad dressing.

Who remembers knock knock jokes???
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Lovable




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 2:33 pm
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 2:33 pm
These jokes are great! Please keep them coming.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 2:34 pm
When people find out what a bad electrician I am, they're shocked!
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Lovable




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 2:35 pm
How do you put an alien baby to sleep? You rocket
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 2:35 pm
How did you fall into a well???
I couldn't see that well.
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Lovable




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 2:36 pm
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato
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Lovable




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 2:45 pm
My wife said that if I dont get off my computer and help her with the dishes, she'll slam my head on the keyboard, But I think she's jokindsg6fjkndjdjfjfjldz;e,ploa.aszS. RTHJi'awlqSZA?djhfgsdnkxw;A.ZFLE[O,.sadl;dgkrlgrdjflksdfk;alr'lowe[fk,a'
dla
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Lovable




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 2:47 pm
A Russian went for an eye check up.
The Doctor showed the letters on the board:
CZWXNQSTAZKY
Doctor: Can you read this?
Russian: Read??? I even know the guy...he's my cousin.
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Lovable




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 2:50 pm
Went to the new Chase bank on Wallabout St. In Williamsburg and there were separate lines for men & women
I was like, wow its nice of the bank to be culturally sensitive
The bank manager passed by and I complimented him about it, to which he responded: Its not separate at all! Read the signs above. One sign read 'Deposits' and the other 'withdrawals' ....
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amother
Nemesia


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 3:15 pm
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Keep them coming!!!
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amother
Winterberry


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 3:25 pm
Lovable wrote:
A Russian went for an eye check up.
The Doctor showed the letters on the board:
CZWXNQSTAZKY
Doctor: Can you read this?
Russian: Read??? I even know the guy...he's my cousin.

This has me Thumbs Up Rolling Laughter Rolling Laughter Rolling Laughter Rolling Laughter
G-d knows I needed that laugh now...
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runninglate




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 3:33 pm
amother Lemonchiffon wrote:
I just s saw this today.
What did the uneducated chossid say to the educated college professor?
Rent is due on the first of the month

Reminds me of this one.
What do you call the guy who graduated last in his medical school class?
Dr.
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shanie5




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 4:07 pm
Why are cooks mean?
Because they beat the eggs and whip the cream.
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 4:16 pm
I just saw this on FB today:

A gentile walks up to a Jew and asks, "Why do Jews always answer a question with another question?"

The Jew responds, "Why not?"
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GLUE




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 4:39 pm
What did the apple say to the orange?

We are not a pear
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amother
Bottlebrush


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 5:39 pm
My wife told me to take the spider outside instead of killing it. Turns out he has a family back home and is a web developer.
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LK1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 5:56 pm
What's brown and sticky?

A Stick
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 6:03 pm
Rashi and tosvos rarely agreed but at least they were on the same page.
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