Teacher refused to allow daughter to drink

amother

NeonPink

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 4:58 pm

watergirl wrote:

There is little point here, trying to teach adults to be empathetic to children's needs on a thread. Someone who does not want to understand why a child has a need that they themselves do not have in one thread is not going to work. This is something that seems to require a full day in-service with child development specialists so these teachers (if they are teachers, posting in the middle of the school day) will have the opportunity to learn empathy, biology, and Maslow's hierarchy. Apparently they did not go to college.

Honestly in every education class I took in college (there were many, and no I am not a teacher at this time), Maslow's hierarchy of needs was the first thing we reviewed and discussed in detail how it applies to the course we were in.

OP, please feel validated that most of us not only agree with you, but feel very badly for your sweet girl who has to deal with a teacher like this.

your saying these teachers are like malachim or something and they never need to drink or use the bathroom?

BrisketBoss

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 4:59 pm

amother NeonPink wrote:

your saying these teachers are like malachim or something and they never need to drink or use the bathroom?

She's saying they find it easy (or at least, practical?) to postpone it for hours (or whatever it is).

And honestly, it's bad for them too. A lot of teachers develop bladder issues.

amother

NeonPink

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 5:03 pm

amother Jean wrote:

Part of the reason we have so many people off the derech is because
our teacher figures are often cruel.

ask any young person ON the derech, who struggled because they were not coordinated, not organized, klumsy, spacy etc and they will tell you about cruelty by school staff.

one young person emphasized: by the time we leave school we are
פארעקלט
from teachers.

oh yeah. there are some that I literally cant look at because of the way I was treated.

nicole81

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 5:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

I literally explained that there isn't enough time to drink and saying she should have a total of 3 times to drink the entire school day is insane. No I won't be understanding and I won't forgive this cruelty. I've been to classes that can drink all day and leave to the bathroom quietly. It's not disruptive. A child squirming or putting her head down because she couldn't use the bathroom or drink is way more disturbing.

OP just ignore the control freak style personalities, as well as those who think the pursuit of asceticism is noble. They're wrong. They can keep saying the same thing over and over, but it doesn't make them any more knowledgeable about classroom practice, whether or not they've taught. I'm BH highly qualified and highly regarded in the field of education (and also not anonymous) and I promise you, the naysayers are spouting a bunch of bunk. Some people prefer to stay ignorant than listen to and value different perspectives, and we can't change that. But we sure can disengage for our own sanity!

amother

DarkOrange

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 5:15 pm

I will never forget the day I urinated on the floor outside the bathroom stall... because the teacher didn't let me leave to use the bathroom even after multiple times asking. Finally by the time she let me go, I was so desperate that I didn't make it in time to pull down my tights/underwear and sit down on the toilet seat.

amother

Daylily

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 5:27 pm

nightingale1 wrote:

I think we should all ask our doctors to speak to the schools or send a letter explaining proper hydration, why it’s good to drink when you’re thirsty, and the negative effects of holding it in. Anyone want to join me?

You would think this would be the solution but unfortunately I know from experience it isnt.
1 of my children actually developed bladder issues and ended up even needing medication. Wow the hell the teachers gave me. My doctor printed out pages for them to read up on it and I don't think they even gave it a glance. They kept calling me, insisting on meetings and one time even threatened not to allow my child back. It was disgusting. I cried after every phonecall.

And I say this on every thread about this. No child should need special permission to use the bathroom, or to drink. It should never ever get to that point. Just as adults can go without it being anyone else's business, let children have that dignity too.

BH Yom Yom

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 5:38 pm

amother Daylily wrote:

That is absolutely nauseating and cruel. No one should be shamed for having bodily needs, and definitely not threatened with not being allowed to come back to school/ class.

OP, I’m so sorry your daughter went through this. Thank you for advocating for her. We are our children’s most important advocates. I’d also recommend role-playing with your daughter to help empower her to stand up for herself (even against authority) and help her practice self-advocacy skills; hopefully she will never need to use them for this type of situation, but it’s a useful skill to have in any case.

I was a teacher and no, it’s not reasonable, healthy or kind to expect tens of students to all be able to use two bathroom stalls in a short break time of two minutes between classes or half an hour at lunch. (It’s also not reasonable or healthy for teachers to not be able to attend to their physical needs, but that’s a separate topic.)

bnm

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 8:59 pm

My daughter wouldn't drink liquids in school because then she will need the bathroom and won't be able to go in class because the teacher gave them 3 passes and she was told if no pass is ever used the kid gets a prize. I had to get her a dr. note to bypass the pass system after my daughter ended up with a UTI.

amother

Fern

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 9:47 pm

Disgusting 2022 entitlement attitude. Undermining a teacher and disempowering a child.

She should be following school rules. No kid ever died or passed out from not drinking during class time.

It was never okay in my days and none of my kids would challenge that rule in school nowadays either.

You drink during drinking time which is recess time. Recess time is spaced throughout the day to make it doable for kids. If she have a hard time remembering to drink during recess time teach her to plan her time and get organized.

The only exception to this is if a kid is recovering from an illness and is well enough to be back in school but could use an extra day of sipping on water. I usually write a note and some teachers agree and some don't and I get it.

amother

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 9:49 pm

amother Fern wrote:

Wow what a nasty post. I dare you to ask your pediatrician if he agrees with you.

amother

Fern

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 9:53 pm

Same goes for toileting.

It is very disruptive when a teacher tries to get a word across and every 3 mins another 3 kids have to leave for the bathroom.

there is designated toilet time which is during breaks and if you don't coddle a kid they will learn to organize their time.

there are also kids that live in their minds not in their bodies and it is only when recess time is over and silence reigns where they suddenly feel thirsty and the need to pee. I'm sure some moms are familiar w this at bedtime too!

well I do not let drink after bedtime in my house either and for bathroom emergencies after bedtime I have a system too.

Yes bathroom emergencies happen and most school have adapted a bathroom pass hallway pass system where they allow kids to use a pass 3x in a certain amount of days.

If a kid is finding the need to go to the bathroom a lot more than that it definitely calls for medical attention.

amother

Sienna

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 9:53 pm

amother Fern wrote:

Oh my goodness this entire post is ridiculous. I'm a teacher, my students drink in class and it's literally a non issue. I grew up drinking in class and also, a non issue.
For goodness sake, I'm the teacher and I drink in class!! My girls offer to refill my water bottle when they go to refill theirs.

Any teacher that loses control of her class because of something as small as a water bottle, really should reconsider professions.

amother

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 9:54 pm

amother Fern wrote:

I'll go tell my doctor that he's a moron and that amother fern says that she needs medical attention since she needs to drink and use the bathroom outside of the 3 designated time. Rolling Eyes

amother

Fern

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 9:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

Wow what a nasty post. I dare you to ask your pediatrician if he agrees with you.

Pediatrician? I don't think this is a medical question. I think this is a chinnuch behavioral question.

Do kids have to drink through the night? Come on. A normal healthy kid can go through classtime without needing to eat and drink.

And this is definitely sounding like helicopter parenting situation.

Do you think your child will benefit from becoming the exception to the teachers rule and being singled out as different and a special case?

I honestly think this is a teaching style and you're not doing your child any favor by undermining the teachers way of running the classroom.

amother

Sienna

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 10:03 pm

amother Fern wrote:

Another fern, have you ever taught?
If yes, what kind of training have you gotten?

Because a well trained teacher knows how to run a classroom that is efficient and smooth while also allowing students to attend to their needs.

amother

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 10:04 pm

amother Fern wrote:

Did you read my posts? Because you make no sense. Your the one who said she needs medical attention. Whatever you have issues I’m not engaging. This whole post of yours is off the wall.

Ema of 5

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 10:06 pm

amother Fern wrote:

You said it here yourself- this is a teaching style, not a school rule. There are plenty of work related ways to teach responsibility, organization, time management….limiting a child’s ability to use the bathroom and take a drink are not the appropriate ways to teach those things. Children learn to regulate their bodily needs and functions when their bodies are ready. It is not the teachers job to teach them those things. If the teacher doesn’t make a big deal about it, it won’t be disruptive. There can be a “one student out at a time, unless it’s an emergency” rule. There can be rules about what type of water bottles are allowed, and where they can/should be kept during class. If students don’t have to raise their hand to get permission to go to the bathroom, it won’t be so disruptive if girls get up and walk out quietly.

Last edited by Ema of 5 on Fri, Sep 16 2022, 8:22 am; edited 1 time in total

Sewsew_mom

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 10:12 pm

amother Fern wrote:

I'm just reading this and I'm feeling so sad for you.
It must be hard to see other people just more relaxed in life and you don't have that ability to lighten up.
Truely.. I wish you alot of healing in whatever has hurt you to treat others this way.

amother

Gray

Thu, Sep 15 2022, 11:00 pm

Any teacher worth her weight should handle bathroom and drinks without creating a jail situation to do so.
I'm a teacher. No students step all over me. Be confident. Be kind. Take control! Too many teachers these days are so insecure and unsure... In the end it's the students that get hurt.