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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Teacher refused to allow daughter to drink
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:13 pm
amother Lilac wrote:
Teach your daughter to take a drink before class and after class
Bathroom visits the same.

As a teacher in the classroom, kids would constantly ask to go to the bathroom or for a drink.
We want to help kids grow, teach them material, offer fascinating sessions we work hard on.

Please imagine teacher using much of her class time, managing 35 wonderful students, sharing and appreciating knowledge, while consucting a line of who asked first, who left, and who came back.

I think teaching kids to take care of it before and after class would be helpful.

Imagine you were on an airplane, or rushing on a highway for a wedding. Sometimes we all figure out a little planning or wait, if no other options.

Yes, there is room for an exception, a child who is sick that day. But having many students needing to leave the classroom is a disruption for all students eager to learn and grow.

Hope you understand a teachers perspective. Thank you

All the best!


I literally explained that there isn't enough time to drink and saying she should have a total of 3 times to drink the entire school day is insane. No I won't be understanding and I won't forgive this cruelty. I've been to classes that can drink all day and leave to the bathroom quietly. It's not disruptive. A child squirming or putting her head down because she couldn't use the bathroom or drink is way more disturbing.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:14 pm
amother DarkGray wrote:
Thank you, Lilac!!


Feeling happy with yourself? So glad there are so many of you teachers parading around.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:18 pm
amother Lilac wrote:
Teach your daughter to take a drink before class and after class
Bathroom visits the same.

As a teacher in the classroom, kids would constantly ask to go to the bathroom or for a drink.
We want to help kids grow, teach them material, offer fascinating sessions we work hard on.

Please imagine teacher using much of her class time, managing 35 wonderful students, sharing and appreciating knowledge, while consucting a line of who asked first, who left, and who came back.

I think teaching kids to take care of it before and after class would be helpful.

Imagine you were on an airplane, or rushing on a highway for a wedding. Sometimes we all figure out a little planning or wait, if no other options.

Yes, there is room for an exception, a child who is sick that day. But having many students needing to leave the classroom is a disruption for all students eager to learn and grow.

Hope you understand a teachers perspective. Thank you

All the best!

Again, allow the girls to have a spill-proof water bottle and they will no longer ask to go get a drink. If they are asking constantly, it's because they need it.

Make a bathroom pass and name dongle system and they will no longer ask to go to the bathroom, they can just... go.

Solved.
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:21 pm
amother Lilac wrote:
Teach your daughter to take a drink before class and after class
Bathroom visits the same.

As a teacher in the classroom, kids would constantly ask to go to the bathroom or for a drink.
We want to help kids grow, teach them material, offer fascinating sessions we work hard on.

Please imagine teacher using much of her class time, managing 35 wonderful students, sharing and appreciating knowledge, while consucting a line of who asked first, who left, and who came back.

I think teaching kids to take care of it before and after class would be helpful.

Imagine you were on an airplane, or rushing on a highway for a wedding. Sometimes we all figure out a little planning or wait, if no other options.

Yes, there is room for an exception, a child who is sick that day. But having many students needing to leave the classroom is a disruption for all students eager to learn and grow.

Hope you understand a teachers perspective. Thank you

All the best!


Op already said that her daughter has 10 minutes to wait on line for the bathroom, take a snack and drink.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:23 pm
amother OP wrote:
I literally explained that there isn't enough time to drink and saying she should have a total of 3 times to drink the entire school day is insane. No I won't be understanding and I won't forgive this cruelty. I've been to classes that can drink all day and leave to the bathroom quietly. It's not disruptive. A child squirming or putting her head down because she couldn't use the bathroom or drink is way more disturbing.

There is little point here, trying to teach adults to be empathetic to children's needs on a thread. Someone who does not want to understand why a child has a need that they themselves do not have in one thread is not going to work. This is something that seems to require a full day in-service with child development specialists so these teachers (if they are teachers, posting in the middle of the school day) will have the opportunity to learn empathy, biology, and Maslow's hierarchy. Apparently they did not go to college.

Honestly in every education class I took in college (there were many, and no I am not a teacher at this time), Maslow's hierarchy of needs was the first thing we reviewed and discussed in detail how it applies to the course we were in.

OP, please feel validated that most of us not only agree with you, but feel very badly for your sweet girl who has to deal with a teacher like this.


Last edited by watergirl on Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:26 pm; edited 1 time in total
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little neshamala




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:25 pm
I used to teach...and I agree with OP.

BH I was quite a successful teacher.
I would let the kids drink throughout the day. I allowed a bottle of water (no cups, or bottles that spilled easily) to remain on the desk.
It was actually not distracting in the slightest.
As for bathroom breaks, I allowed them as needed. Very rarely I would need to make sure girls were coming back, but in general the lessons were interesting enough and not so boring that they felt the need to escape to the bathroom.
I was able to run a productive, effecient and happy classroom BH.

ETA no, this wasnt in a Montessori style school with tiny groups of kids. Typical BY school with close to 30 kids in a class, no assistant


Last edited by little neshamala on Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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chanatron1000




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:25 pm
amother Lilac wrote:
Imagine you were on an airplane, or rushing on a highway for a wedding. Sometimes we all figure out a little planning or wait, if no other options.


If I were on an airplane, I'd still take care of my physical needs. If not, the results could be pretty bad, TBH.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:25 pm
keym wrote:
Op already said that her daughter has 10 minutes to wait on line for the bathroom, take a snack and drink.

Not only that. Can you imagine a large school with hundreds of students and few bathrooms and water fountains? The lines would be extremely long. That poor kid who waited in line and then is late to class... or waits in line and cant make it to the bathroom before class starts so she misses her change. It's not only unpractical, the thought of it is giving me serious anxiety.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:27 pm
chanatron1000 wrote:
If I were on an airplane, I'd still take care of my physical needs. If not, the results could be pretty bad, TBH.

And I’ve stopped plenty of times while driving because one of my kids (or myself!!) needed the bathroom….unless we were literally one or two minutes away from our destination, and I knew it could wait. Also, it’s not good for your system to hold it in when you need to go to the bathroom. Just saying….
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:38 pm
watergirl wrote:
There is little point here, trying to teach adults to be empathetic to children's needs on a thread. Someone who does not want to understand why a child has a need that they themselves do not have in one thread is not going to work. This is something that seems to require a full day in-service with child development specialists so these teachers (if they are teachers, posting in the middle of the school day) will have the opportunity to learn empathy, biology, and Maslow's hierarchy. Apparently they did not go to college.

Honestly in every education class I took in college (there were many, and no I am not a teacher at this time), Maslow's hierarchy of needs was the first thing we reviewed and discussed in detail how it applies to the course we were in.

OP, please feel validated that most of us not only agree with you, but feel very badly for your sweet girl who has to deal with a teacher like this.


Thank you I do feel validated that so many do agree and that there are caring teachers out there who posted too.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:44 pm
chanatron1000 wrote:
If I were on an airplane, I'd still take care of my physical needs. If not, the results could be pretty bad, TBH.


Plane bathroom may have a wait. not the second you feel you want to go its available. you also may need to gently wake up those who are blocking you?

Highway gas station also may be 15 min drive away? and then wait for others?

OP, I think there are 6 periods a day, kids can use between periods + lunch break, before school starts, so generally speaking its 8-9 times during 9-4 a day an opportunity to go out?

if child is very young (lower grades), perhaps its more sensitive. disucss with admin. in older grades kids have managed pretty well.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:48 pm
I'll reiterate what so many others have said. I've been a teacher for many years, there are ways to ensure students have their needs met properly and still maintain a well run classroom. We do not need to deprive kids of water or make them beg for the bathroom.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:50 pm
amother Lilac wrote:
Plane bathroom may have a wait. not the second you feel you want to go its available. you also may need to gently wake up those who are blocking you?

Highway gas station also may be 15 min drive away? and then wait for others?

OP, I think there are 6 periods a day, kids can use between periods + lunch break, before school starts, so generally speaking its 8-9 times during 9-4 a day an opportunity to go out?

if child is very young (lower grades), perhaps its more sensitive. disucss with admin. in older grades kids have managed pretty well.


Did you read my other replies? I explained why this is not an answer. You can look it up I typed it too many times.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 12:51 pm
amother Sienna wrote:
I'll reiterate what so many others have said. I've been a teacher for many years, there are ways to ensure students have their needs met properly and still maintain a well run classroom. We do not need to deprive kids of water or make them beg for the bathroom.


I wish all teachers were like you.
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Sewsew_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 1:09 pm
amother Lilac wrote:
Plane bathroom may have a wait. not the second you feel you want to go its available. you also may need to gently wake up those who are blocking you?

Highway gas station also may be 15 min drive away? and then wait for others?

OP, I think there are 6 periods a day, kids can use between periods + lunch break, before school starts, so generally speaking its 8-9 times during 9-4 a day an opportunity to go out?

if child is very young (lower grades), perhaps its more sensitive. disucss with admin. in older grades kids have managed pretty well.

As a grown woman.. And no I wasn't pregnant.. I was driving and had to use the bathroom suddenly so badly that I left the bathroom without underwear cus I disposed of them in the trash in the public bathroom by the time I made it there..
I think your not understanding that other pple have other experiences and your not in tuned to hear them.
And yes. I have no issue posting under my screen name.
It's not something I needed to learn from my teacher how to wait. My body comes first.
Case closed.
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amother
Jean


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 1:20 pm
Part of the reason we have so many people off the derech is because
our teacher figures are often cruel.

ask any young person ON the derech, who struggled because they were not coordinated, not organized, klumsy, spacy etc and they will tell you about cruelty by school staff.

one young person emphasized: by the time we leave school we are
פארעקלט
from teachers.
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nightingale1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 1:35 pm
I think we should all ask our doctors to speak to the schools or send a letter explaining proper hydration, why it’s good to drink when you’re thirsty, and the negative effects of holding it in. Anyone want to join me?
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Sewsew_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 1:39 pm
nightingale1 wrote:
I think we should all ask our doctors to speak to the schools or send a letter explaining proper hydration, why it’s good to drink when you’re thirsty, and the negative effects of holding it in. Anyone want to join me?

Yor cracked me up. 😂
I think honestly teachers should go through a screening session before teaching.
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amother
Jean


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 1:40 pm
nightingale1 wrote:
I think we should all ask our doctors to speak to the schools or send a letter explaining proper hydration, why it’s good to drink when you’re thirsty, and the negative effects of holding it in. Anyone want to join me?

you can ask
the psychiatrists. they have plenty of former yeshiva students who were brutalized in school.
our schools are feeders for psychiatric practices.
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amother
Melon


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2022, 1:53 pm
OP did you speak to the teacher? You can get your validation here but it's not going to help your daughter by getting all riled up

Please see how you can help her now and make a game plan
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