How many nights can my child go to bed hungry?

amother

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 5:50 pm

I’m fed up with cooking 3 different suppers every night. I have an almost 6 year old and a 7.5 yr old. Last Monday I made a new rule that if you don’t taste what I make for supper, then you don’t get to eat anything till the morning. Tonight is the 2nd time my (almost) 6 yr old went to bed hungry and the first time my 7.5 yr old went to sleep without food. How many times can we let this happen?

amother

Black

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 5:52 pm

Can you serve something at every meal that they like even if it’s not a complete supper? Bread rice?
Look up Division of Responsibility

BrisketBoss

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 5:53 pm

amother Black wrote:

Can you serve something at every meal that they like even if it’s not a complete supper? Bread rice?
Look up Division of Responsibility

Agreed. Also reasonable to add a bedtime snack.

Don't bribe them to taste. Just present food and leave it up to them. No pressure whatsoever.

Last edited by BrisketBoss on Tue, Sep 20 2022, 5:54 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 5:54 pm

What I do is I tell my kids if they don’t like dinner they can help themselves to a yogurt or bread or cheese or a fruit.
I do try to make at least one thing (protein or starch or vegetable) that they enjoy. And if not, I may have leftovers from a previous night that I would warm up for them.

amother

Calendula

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 5:54 pm

My 6 year old takes peanut butter with rice cakes when he doesn’t like supper. Lately it’s nearly every night. But I’m not about to cook multiple suppers. Mil did and she didn’t do me any favors. Dh is one of the pickiest eaters I’ve met.

GrowingUp

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 5:54 pm

I’d vote never.

I have two picky eaters (7 and 5). They know that if they don’t like dinner they can help themselves. Cereal and milk, frozen pizza, sandwich etc. Both try new things occasionally, but there isn’t the pressure. Pressure always backfires.

amother

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 5:57 pm

Ok so I knew I’d get the advice to let them have a healthy food. Problem is they don’t like rice cake, or yogurt, or cereal and milk, or fruit or vegetables

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 5:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ok so I knew I’d get the advice to let them have a healthy food. Problem is they don’t like rice cake, or yogurt, or cereal and milk, or fruit or vegetables

What do they like? I don’t think it’s right to let them go to bed hungry.

BrisketBoss

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 5:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ok so I knew I’d get the advice to let them have a healthy food. Problem is they don’t like rice cake, or yogurt, or cereal and milk, or fruit or vegetables

That's ok. The 'safe food' you include in your one dinner for the whole family does not have to be 'healthy.' Really.

amother

Peony

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 6:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ok so I knew I’d get the advice to let them have a healthy food. Problem is they don’t like rice cake, or yogurt, or cereal and milk, or fruit or vegetables

so maybe give something somewhat healthy like grill cheese, bread, string cheese, or if you really can't then maybe at least a cereal bar, grab one, fruit shake, protein shake, pancakes or even peanut chews.

do they like any form of eggs?

amother

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 6:01 pm

amother Peony wrote:

They literally don’t like a single food you listed.

amother

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 6:07 pm

amother Fuchsia wrote:

What do they like?

Bread.
I refuse to let them eat bread for breakfast, lunch, and supper. Dh’s family is this way and they still didn’t learn to eat anything else. I’m done with it.
Oh, and I need to toast the bread and smear on the butter for them. I’m not interested in doing even that, and they can’t do it in their own.

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 6:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

What else do they eat? You said you’re cooking three meals. What’s the meal they like to eat?

BrisketBoss

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 6:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

Exposure and lack of pressure are both good things, I promise. It's a better 'method' than any other.

Why can't they prepare their own toast? They are old enough to learn the skill. Or are they lacking in abilities and maturity normally associated with those ages?

amother

Mintcream

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 6:16 pm

Is it possible that they are getting additional food from school and so are truly not that hungry for supper? Then they for sure will not eat something they are not interested in.

Personally a child who goes to bed hungry when he has been given lots of options- well that is not the worst thing in the world. Kids go to bed very soon after dinner. They don't really need those calories. They need the calories for breakfast and lunch.

tichellady

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 6:20 pm

I get the frustration but I don’t think your method is great. forcing people to eat food they don’t like doesn’t usually end well. I would take a deep breathe and figure out how you can make this easier for yourself. I think you are putting too much onto yourself about what they do eat. you can’t make your kid eat a certain way. the eating habits of an adult are not his mom’s fault. people eat the way they do for a variety of complex reasons and you are giving yourself too much responsibility for this

BrisketBoss

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 6:23 pm

tichellady wrote:

Yes, and you can cause problems with the belief that you are responsible for a child's eating habits. That's what DOR is all about. You serve a well rounded meal. The sequel is up to the child. You can't control it and worse, they KNOW it.

happy7

Tue, Sep 20 2022, 6:25 pm

Hungry kids are a misery. I don’t want to cook extra either, but I will let my child eat bread every day if that makes them happy.