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How many nights can my child go to bed hungry? Update pg 6
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DVOM




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 9:43 pm
Please read Ellen Satter. I think it can help you make peace with this.

My 9 year old lives on toast and butter. He loves it!

We bought one of those 4 slice pop up toasters for him, and the easy spread butter blend tubs. He's able to manage the whole thing himself, including shaking the crumbs out of the toaster into the garbage after he's done, washing the butter knife, and putting the bread and butter back into the freezer and fridge.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 9:59 pm
For 5 years I’m trying to make peace with it and being happy with whatever makes them happy. There’s a time when you’ve had enough of “what can I eat?”. All day, every day, I have the same 3 “healthy” foods they can nosh on and they’re getting bored. I’m also fed up having to have to take along food wherever I go cuz they never taste anything and never developed a taste for anything else. I’m so done.
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amother
Aquamarine


 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 10:05 pm
OP I get you. I would let it happen for
3 nights and see
If there’s a change.

Also, if they’re addicted to bread it’ll be very
Hard to get them to eat anything else.

Zinc and vit b1 can help with pickiness and low appetite but not if they’re restricting because of addiction or because of ocd.

My kids can have a fruit or vegetable after dinner. That’s it.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 10:05 pm
amother OP wrote:
For 5 years I’m trying to make peace with it and being happy with whatever makes them happy. There’s a time when you’ve had enough of “what can I eat?”. All day, every day, I have the same 3 “healthy” foods they can nosh on and they’re getting bored. I’m also fed up having to have to take along food wherever I go cuz they never taste anything and never developed a taste for anything else. I’m so done.


I really relate. have you looked into feeding therapy? you may need to have a professional work with them because it seems too much for you to deal with, which is understandable
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amother
Calendula


 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 10:07 pm
amother OP wrote:
For 5 years I’m trying to make peace with it and being happy with whatever makes them happy. There’s a time when you’ve had enough of “what can I eat?”. All day, every day, I have the same 3 “healthy” foods they can nosh on and they’re getting bored. I’m also fed up having to have to take along food wherever I go cuz they never taste anything and never developed a taste for anything else. I’m so done.
Did you ask the pediatrician? What suppers do you make that they actually eat?

DD was referred to feeding therapy when she was 6 because there were so few foods she would eat. But while waiting for the appointment she started eating a few more foods so I cancelled. Bh she eats ok now. But if it’s not getting any better you may want to look into it.

If all they eat is toast with butter then they should probably be evaluated. I hope that’s not all they eat.

Edit: my pediatrician said to let her go to bed hungry. It was the developmental pediatrician she was seeing that didn’t like her weight and insisted I get her evaluated for feeding therapy. So even the doctors disagree.
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Moonlight




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 10:08 pm
Op, I'm with you and can totally relate. I do pressure my kids to at least try something I prepared. My younger ones do, my more stubborn teens sometimes refuse. I tell them they can always help themselves to anything in the fruit/vegie drawers, a sandwich that they make themselves, or cereal with no sugar in the ingredients when I am done serving dinner. The end. No caving.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 10:11 pm
They would eat 1 or 2 more foods but they don’t like the same foods. On a “good” night I would need to make at least 2 dinners.
One would eat fish sticks, but the other one wouldn’t touch it. The other one would eat potatoes if I bake or cook it a certain way, but the other one wouldn’t touch it. Ordering food, eating out, going to the pizza shop, nothing works. One of them or both of them will always come out hungry.
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amother
Calendula


 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 10:14 pm
amother OP wrote:
They would eat 1 or 2 more foods but they don’t like the same foods. On a “good” night I would need to make at least 2 dinners.
One would eat fish sticks, but the other one wouldn’t touch it. The other one would eat potatoes if I bake or cook it a certain way, but the other one wouldn’t touch it. Ordering food, eating out, going to the pizza shop, nothing works. One of them or both of them will always come out hungry.
I would sign up for an evaluation with the feeding team. You never know, maybe they’ll be scared and start eating like my DD did Wink
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amother
Celeste


 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 10:16 pm
If they are starving eventually they will rebel. The minute they could they will buy & eat everything they’ve been wanting. Can they take turns choosing what the menu will be?
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BrisketBoss




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 10:41 pm
Moonlight wrote:
Op, I'm with you and can totally relate. I do pressure my kids to at least try something I prepared. My younger ones do, my more stubborn teens sometimes refuse. I tell them they can always help themselves to anything in the fruit/vegie drawers, a sandwich that they make themselves, or cereal with no sugar in the ingredients when I am done serving dinner. The end. No caving.


Hold up. You have cereal with no sugar in the ingredients? Cold cereal?
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Moonlight




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 10:46 pm
BrisketBoss wrote:
Hold up. You have cereal with no sugar in the ingredients? Cold cereal?

Plain cheerios
Rice crispies
Chex
Corn flakes
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BrisketBoss




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 10:56 pm
Moonlight wrote:
Plain cheerios
Rice crispies
Chex
Corn flakes


Of those, the only one I have is plain Cheerios. There is sugar in the ingredients. Just not a lot. Sugar makes it yummy enough to eat!
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 10:56 pm
amother OP wrote:
For 5 years I’m trying to make peace with it and being happy with whatever makes them happy. There’s a time when you’ve had enough of “what can I eat?”. All day, every day, I have the same 3 “healthy” foods they can nosh on and they’re getting bored. I’m also fed up having to have to take along food wherever I go cuz they never taste anything and never developed a taste for anything else. I’m so done.


Maybe there’s an underlying reason. Extreme picky eating can be helped with some therapy sometimes
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amother
Aquamarine


 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 11:09 pm
Moonlight wrote:
Plain cheerios
Rice crispies
Chex
Corn flakes
all of these have sugar
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 11:12 pm
Feed them what they want to eat!!!
You’re their mother. You care for them. I make the same 2-3 things every night and every week. Sometimes I try to switch it up but there’s always one of the regular options.

They should never ever ever ever go to bed hungry.

They are eating. That’s what’s important.
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im shy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 20 2022, 11:53 pm
Maybe let the kids cook with you. Sometimes if they are part of the experience, they end up tasting some too. (start with kid friendly food, like pasta...)
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 12:22 am
OP, as a mother of a bunch of picky eaters, I get you. But bread is literally the best healthy food to give kids! Unless its white bread or your kids are overweight, which I would assume they're not.
Having the kids go to bed hungry bc you don't want to let them eat bread sounds not ok to me.
Btw. My 10 year old literally ate for years bread or weetabix every single night for supper. About a year ago, he started tasting and eating a lot more food.
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amother
Blue


 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 12:27 am
Personally, I would not let them go to bed hungry. I also have my share a very picky kids. Sometimes I'm super frustrated when they don't want to eat. What I've been doing lately is I've been meal planning with them and making sure that they know even if their food is not coming out that night then they'll have it a different night that week. I also try super hard to make something each night that everyone likes, even if it's not the main of supper. For example, tonight I made breaded flounder which two kids tried and liked. I made potato soup which one child's requested so that child ate a few bowls of that. I also made spaghetti and took some of it and mix it with vegetables for me and my husband and the kids ate it with sauce or sesame.
All in all everyone eat with different things.
Child number one had a bowl of soup, a piece of breaded flounder, and sesame spaghetti.
Child number two had a few bowls of soup and tried the spaghetti and sauce but they didn't want it.
Child number 3 ate a piece of fish and had a mango cut up for him.
Child number 4. (Baby) had soup and spaghetti.
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 12:29 am
Get a feeding therapist.

I have a child with extreme picky eating. Most nights it’s bread and pasta. But two nights a week he has to eat something else. And by has to, I mean that I will not let him leave the table until it happens, it’s a golf ball size, and he gets the tablet after. We also have a prize chart.

That something else can be a fish stick or whatever it is so that both your kids like the same dinner.
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amother
NeonYellow


 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 12:31 am
amother OP wrote:
I’m fed up with cooking 3 different suppers every night. I have an almost 6 year old and a 7.5 yr old. Last Monday I made a new rule that if you don’t taste what I make for supper, then you don’t get to eat anything till the morning. Tonight is the 2nd time my (almost) 6 yr old went to bed hungry and the first time my 7.5 yr old went to sleep without food. How many times can we let this happen?

Kids won't let themselves starve. If they don't get enough calories they'll wake up at night.

The answer to your question is: This shouldn't take too long. We did this a couple times with my eldest, for whom plain bread or a sandwich is the best thing in the world. When I was growing up if you didn't want supper you made yourself a sandwich. For this child, that would've been a reward, the best thing to eat for supper. So I said if you don't eat supper that's it until the morning. We had a night or two when DC woke up in the middle of the night and asked to eat and we said "food is in the morning, next time you'll eat your supper." I think with our second we had the same thing - "we told you at supper that if you don't eat there is no food until morning," and it happened twice.

I'm not against this and I don't judge you. Nor should anyone else be judging you.

THAT SAID.

What you are describing, just 2 foods that they eat, strikes me as something that needs an evaluation. It might be sensory, it might be something else. Feeding therapy can help. So can Division of Responsibility, like someone said. I have a friend who does feeding therapy, she also offers it over Zoom, I think. Look up Chaya Stern, she is an OT. I can't vouch for her professionally because I've never used her (BH I don't need it) but I see her stuff and she seems to know what she's doing.

In the meantime speak to your pediatrician and see what muiltivitamin would help them. I also find that it helps my kids when I explain what each food gives them. Like my "I hate chicken" person, I explained that red meat and chicken aren't interchangeable, and what chicken has that red meat does not. A bit of science doesn't hurt. Smile Good luck, it sounds like you are dealing with a lot. Heart
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