Do you let your dd 10 go swimming with friends?

amother

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 8:40 am

Would you let your 10 y/o dd go to a public swimming pool with a friend and the friend's mother? Dd doesn't know how to swim! She promised to stay in the shallow part but I had not a good feeling about it and said no. Now she's having a major meltdown about how "everyone" else lets their children go, even if they don't know how to swim.
So, do you let your non-swimming dc go to a pool with friends and their parents? We're in Israel, but I posted it here for a wider range of opinions.

Ema of 5

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 8:45 am

If it is a public pool, there should be adequate lifeguards around. Will her friends stay with her, or are they all swimmers and will be together in the other part of the pool?
I would let her go if there is adequate supervision and her friends (or at least some of them) will spend time with her.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 8:57 am

There is no way that if her friends go to the deep end she wont follow. So either she will go where she shouldnt or she wont go and she will be left alone in the shallow.
Both dont sound great.
I think if she doesnt know how to swim its not a great idea.
Im also in israel and have been to several pools. And there are always life guards, but uts still not smart to have her go with friends where she will eirher be left out, and then whats the point, or shell go into the deep even though she shouldnt.

essie14

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 9:20 am

I'm not sure how a 10 year old doesn't know how to swim yet, but if all her friends know how to swim and go to public pools, of course she will want to go.
Get her into swimming lessons NOW so she will be up to her friends level by next summer.
I don't let my non swimming kids into a pool without me, but they know how to swim by 4 years old.

amother

Daffodil

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 9:29 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I completely disagree with your first sentence. My dd is 11 and doesn't know how to swim. She knows it and would never venture into water she can't stand in comfortably.

I would for sure let my daughter go. I know she'll stay in shallow water and there are lifeguards. Why should she lose out socially just because she doesn't know how to swim. And yes, I've sent her to swimming lessons for 4 summers, including one season of private lessons. She still can't swim.

Chickensoupprof

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 9:41 am

Ok... most children here are given swimclasses when they are 6/7, so it is a bit suprising for me that your dd can't swim. Anyhoo... What I do think is that it;s not harmful to be in shallow water. Yet I should get her to a swimming class ASAP. Swimming is the best sport ever really.

amother

Ruby

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 9:42 am

Times have changed. At that age I went swimming with a friend with no adult accompanying. We walked to and from the pool, as well. Of course we were both competent swimmers, but even so...

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 9:46 am

amother Daffodil wrote:

I completely disagree with your first sentence. My dd is 11 and doesn't know how to swim. She knows it and would never venture into water she can't stand in comfortably.

Ok, thats your daughter. But im sure there are kids who may try to venture into the deep water.

amother

Lavender

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 10:33 am

my daughter went with her older sister and her friend and her friend's mother to a private pool. I didn't realize the part that she was in (the play area part) was going to be so deep and there ended up being an issue. the friends mother ended up jumping in and getting my daughter. I was very grateful but I also felt bad that I had let my younger daughter go. While the mother reassured me that she's done it before. I still felt bad. I started her on lessons.

amother

Electricblue

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 10:58 am

amother Ruby wrote:

Times have changed. At that age I went swimming with a friend with no adult accompanying. We walked to and from the pool, as well. Of course we were both competent swimmers, but even so...

I'm probably older than you and I never swam at a pool without a lifeguard. We live in a city where a lot of people have pools. My kids are only allowed to swim once they are competent swimmers and with a parent there.

amother

Mintgreen

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 11:01 am

amother Ruby wrote:

Times have changed. At that age I went swimming with a friend with no adult accompanying. We walked to and from the pool, as well. Of course we were both competent swimmers, but even so...

Yes we watched kids drown and die and we know to do better. Thank god we learn from mistakes and negligence

amother

Turquoise

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 11:04 am

If your kids are in camps in the US they are going swimming in similar situations. So yes. I would let if there are lifeguards.

I teach my kids to swim age 6, and all were swimmers by age 9, however they went swimming in big pools in camp before they knew how to swim.

amother

Mintgreen

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 11:06 am

amother Turquoise wrote:

Not the same thing, counselors watch their campers while lifeguards watch the pool. Sending to a public pool with one lifeguard or sending to a private pool with no one is not comparable to the ratio of staff to camper in camp pools.

Ema of 5

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 11:29 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Ok, thats your daughter. But im sure there are kids who may try to venture into the deep water.

There are kids who would and there are kids who wouldn’t. OP needs to know which category her daughter falls into. Also, as I mentioned above, if some of her friends will be with her or if they will all go to the other part of the pool. If the latter, I wouldn’t send her just because what’s the point of going with people who won’t spend time with you?
I’m also not sure why so many people are surprised that a 10 year old doesn’t know how to swim. My 10 year old is still a work in progress. There are many adults who don’t know how to swim, so why are so many surprises about a 10 year old? Also not sure why that’s what people are harping on, because that was only PART of the point of this thread. She doesn’t know how to swim, therefore…..

amother

Dimgray

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 12:27 pm

amother Turquoise wrote:

Kids in camp
In the US have instructional swim. My daughter learned to swim pretty ‘late’ in my circles at age 6 in daycamp

amother

Diamond

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 1:03 pm

Can you go too?
I would not send but I would rearrange my schedule to not prevent, by going as well. I have been blessed with SIF, so my small family can probably be more flexible than most.

Ema of 5

Fri, Sep 23 2022, 3:16 pm

amother Dimgray wrote:

Kids in camp
In the US have instructional swim. My daughter learned to swim pretty ‘late’ in my circles at age 6 in daycamp

Not all camps