I find it very hard to be in shul.

amother

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 8:24 pm

My children are teenagers so I have no excuse to stay home but I find it very hard to daven a whole day in shul. I would rather just go for shofar then come home.

Thisisnotmyreal

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 8:33 pm

You'd be surprised at how many men are reading something other than machazor all those hours and take a break for unesane tokef. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Ema of 5

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 8:40 pm

Where you SHOULD be is where you feel you will be able to most effectively connect to davening, to Hashem, to the day….

amother

Electricblue

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 9:21 pm

That’s me! But I feel soo guilty that I’m not seeing a good example for my kids. I just don’t like being in shul. I’m too distracted by who’s there, and other gashmius thoughts. I so wish I could stay all day.

NotInNJMommy

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 9:39 pm

I’m only going to shul for my kids on RH and to hear shofar. And if they weren’t here, I’d only go for shofar.

amother

Viola

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 9:40 pm

amother Vanilla wrote:

Same here. It’s ok. You’ll have a good year even if you don’t go.

Are you a navi ? I have some questions about my coming year id love to ask someone

OceanRider

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 9:44 pm

I didn’t know women have to go to shul.
I never go. I can’t concentrate and daven with true sincerity and kavana when I’m surrounded by strangers.

amother

Peachpuff

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 9:50 pm

I was an older single and then didn’t have kids right away. For so many years I dreaded rosh hashana as o was expected to be in shul. Everyone else seemed to daven with kavana and for me I was jumping out of my skin (no I don’t have ADHD but it’s just a really long time). This year I Bh have a baby and I am so relieved that I’m just going for shofar. I feel a tad guilty for feeling this way but you know what? I did it for so many years o feel like I deserve it. Yeah I know I sound like a rasha

OceanRider

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 10:04 pm

amother Peachpuff wrote:

Yeah I know I sound like a rasha

Who put this in your head?
I get that every community is different but this mindset is surprising and so upsetting to me.

No. You’re not a rasha if you daven at home.
And I can’t believe I have to say this.

Last edited by OceanRider on Sat, Sep 24 2022, 10:05 pm; edited 1 time in total

Highstrung

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 10:05 pm

I connect much more to my tefillos and HaShem when I daven out loud , b’yechidus.
My kids see me daven with kavanah at home. I only go to shul for shofar and do the rest at home. I feel very uplifted and connected even though I don’t go to shul.

Last edited by Highstrung on Sat, Sep 24 2022, 11:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

pinkpeonies

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 10:10 pm

Not sure why everyone is so unclear on this.
What Hashem WANTS is to connect with you. If you will have a better connection at home, that’s EXACTLY where Hashem wants you.
Guess who made you that way??
Guess who knows you better than you know yourself?
Guess who wants to have a connection with you EVEN if you’re not doing what you think you should be doing?
Guess who wants you to stop feeling guilt and concentrate on the only thing that matters, which is opening yourself up to Him?
(In case it wasn’t clear, the answer to every one of these questions is Hashem!!)
Personally, my mind wanders at home. I have a VERY hard time davening in general. Shul focuses me and makes it easier. Everyone is different and we were designed that way by the Master Designer

amother

Papaya

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 10:34 pm

Why is your shul like? Are you able to hear (& see) well? Maybe a different shul will work better for you.

Not saying you must be there, but I love davening in shul, and it makes me sad that so many people apparently don’t like it.

kiti

Sat, Sep 24 2022, 10:36 pm

OceanRider wrote:

I didn’t know women have to go to shul.
I never go. I can’t concentrate and daven with true sincerity and kavana when I’m surrounded by strangers.

Me too, the awareness that others are around me is on my mind. I can only daven when I'm in complete solitude and nobody can see or hear me

amother

Vanilla

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 2:15 am

amother Viola wrote:

Are you a navi ? I have some questions about my coming year id love to ask someone

Nope, just a firm believer that having emunah causes good outcomes.

imorethanamother

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 2:43 am

Guys. I hate to be the line voice of dissent but the point of shul is to Daven with a minyan. Hashem listens to the voice of a tzibbur, and it’s accepted more readily than a private tefillah alone. When you Daven by yourself it’s said that you’re judged individually about whether your tefillah is good enough and whether you deserve to be answered, whereas that’s not necessarily the situation with a crowd.

If you have to take care of children, do your thing. If you’re cooking and serving 18 people or whatever, do your thing. But I want all my sisters in klal Yisroel to have their tefilos be as successful as possible. And ask your LOR for guidance.

amother

Vanilla

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 3:02 am

imorethanamother wrote:

Call me crazy but believe I’ll have a good year even if I don’t daven from a siddur at all. So so much is what we believe.

amother

Firebrick

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 3:18 am

I have teens and havent been to shul in almost 6 years. I just cant daven with a minyan and I also dont connect to the long davening at all. I daven what I can at home. And that will have to be enough for Hashem from me. I cant give any more than that.

amother

Tiffanyblue

Sun, Sep 25 2022, 3:23 am

amother OP wrote:

My children are teenagers so I have no excuse to stay home but I find it very hard to daven a whole day in shul. I would rather just go for shofar then come home.

I don’t like Shul so I don’t go. What’s the biggy? 🤷🏻‍♀️