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In-town yeshivish- how much clothing for a kallah?
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2022, 9:38 pm
I have heard that (intown yeshivish) Kallahs are getting new wardrobes (not just 7 brachos clothing) for once they are married and I just can’t wrap my head around how that’s possible given all the other expenses.
What is an average amount of clothing that kallahs get? Thanks
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Frumwithallergies




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2022, 9:44 pm
I am not in that parsha yet, but what about Sem clothes --- can't some of the nicer stuff work for kallah / shanna rishonah? (Asking respectfully )
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amother




Winterberry
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2022, 9:47 pm
Frumwithallergies wrote:
I am not in that parsha yet, but what about Sem clothes --- can't some of the nicer stuff work for kallah / shanna rishonah? (Asking respectfully )


Seminary clothing is a whole other thing. Those things never get worn again. It’s a specific style for just seminary
But I think everyone does what works for them. Whatever fits your budget
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amother




Marigold
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2022, 9:51 pm
mainstream yeshivish
grew up in flatbush
live in lakewood now
got married 5 years ago

I did not get any clothing from my parents as a kallah besides for maybe 2 sheva brachos outfits. I had been buying my own clothes for a couple of years at that point, why would getting married change anything?
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amother




Lemonlime
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2022, 9:51 pm
Why invest in all this new clothes when they hope to be wearing maternity shortly after and might never fit into it again.
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amother




Salmon
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 9:08 am
I did get new clothes when I got married.

Not everything but it was my last chance to get outfitted on my parent's credit card.

Lots of new shells/ bras/ shoes etc - basically all the more expensive things that last a while. It's hard enough to budget as a couple in the beginning without extra things to buy.
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amother




Chambray
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 9:23 am
Kallah's are getting an abnormal amount of clothing and shoes nowadays, it's crazy. Full winter and summer wardrobes for weekday and shabbos, too many pairs of shoes to count, jackets, robes......
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Sewsew_mom




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 9:25 am
Stop babying your kallah. They are old enough to get married they can outfit themselves for after marriage.
What's wrong with the clothing from before marriage. They don't work anymore?
These rules are absurd.
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 9:27 am
amother Salmon wrote:
I did get new clothes when I got married.

Not everything but it was my last chance to get outfitted on my parent's credit card.

Lots of new shells/ bras/ shoes etc - basically all the more expensive things that last a while. It's hard enough to budget as a couple in the beginning without extra things to buy.


I don't necessarily view it this way....I think B"EH it would be my pleasure to treat my DD's even after they get married. Just like I get them something new for YT now, I would add them to the tab in the future. And when I make orders for stockings and such before YT....I would ask them what they need, too. Why not?
(and the thought of buying little outfits for grandkids...is the stuff of dreams for me. B"EH.)

I haven't heard DD's friends going too crazy, OP, and they are all in-town yeshivish, some more, some less. They get some nice Sheva Brachos outfits, and probably stock up on basics, so that they don't have to rush out shopping immediately after they get married.

Of course there are those who go overboard with everything in life (the wedding itself too). But it's not everyone.
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Sewsew_mom




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 9:28 am
amother Salmon wrote:
I did get new clothes when I got married.

Not everything but it was my last chance to get outfitted on my parent's credit card.

Lots of new shells/ bras/ shoes etc - basically all the more expensive things that last a while. It's hard enough to budget as a couple in the beginning without extra things to buy.

Ouch. This post is so unsensitive to parents.
Your parents are not just a credit card. They are humans who work hard to support their children and give them a good life.
Your old enough to budget and go to the store and buy what you need to get dressed after your married. I feel sorry girls aren't being taught how to budget basic necessary things.
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amother




Salmon
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 9:38 am
Sewsew_mom wrote:
Ouch. This post is so unsensitive to parents.
Your parents are not just a credit card. They are humans who work hard to support their children and give them a good life.
Your old enough to budget and go to the store and buy what you need to get dressed after your married. I feel sorry girls aren't being taught how to budget basic necessary things.


I didn't mean my post to sound that way. I'm so grateful for everything my parents gave me over the years.

The beginning of marriage is expensive. So many things we needed to buy... They did it for me and I'm grateful. In the beginning of a marriage even a good one there are so many things to work through and I'm glad that I didn't have to add any more stresses at that time.

My dh on the other hand is from the bottom of a large family and was very much not set up in that way (for sure partially due to the expense.) He was using his old yeshiva threadbare undershirts with holes etc. One pair of pajamas. Shoes with worn out soles.. Besides for his clothing he wore to the chasunah we had to replace his whole wardrobe within 6 months. Yes it was a strain on our budget.
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amother




Green
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 9:38 am
There are mishigasim for everything nowadays. It's your choice to buy into it or not.

I'm from a typical in town yeshivish family. My parents could barely afford my wedding (and it was in the cheapest hall possible). They definitely could not afford new clothing. I bought a few things myself and used whatever I had from before. And BH I was pregnant first cycle after my wedding so it's a good thing no one wasted money on clothes
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amother




Heather
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 9:41 am
Yeshivish living in Lakewood 30 years.
I don't think there's any "rules" about that.
if undergarments/shells (or really all basics including a black skirt!) need to be replaced because they're a few years old it makes sense to do it before the wedding the same way a chassan shouldn't start married life with threadbare undershirts or holey socks!
I have friends that bought everything before the wedding including shoe polish and a tool kit. Her son is learning full time and couple is being financially supported.
Most people do not. It really depends on parents finances!
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amother




Hyssop
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 9:41 am
amother Salmon wrote:

My dh on the other hand is from the bottom of a large family and was very much not set up in that way (for sure partially due to the expense.) He was using his old yeshiva threadbare undershirts with holes etc. One pair of pajamas. Shoes with worn out soles.. Besides for his clothing he wore to the chasunah we had to replace his whole wardrobe within 6 months. Yes it was a strain on our budget.


Same. He didn't even own a winter coat and we got married right before the winter. My in-laws knew I was working to support us (typical yeshivish family) and they had no problem with me carrying the expense of buying one, plus most of everything else he needed.
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amother




Salmon
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 9:42 am
amother Hyssop wrote:
Same. He didn't even own a winter coat and we got married right before the winter. My in-laws knew I was working to support us (typical yeshivish family) and they had no problem with me carrying the expense of buying one, plus most of everything else he needed.


This exactly down to the winter coat.
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amother




NeonOrange
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 9:55 am
amother Hyssop wrote:
Same. He didn't even own a winter coat and we got married right before the winter. My in-laws knew I was working to support us (typical yeshivish family) and they had no problem with me carrying the expense of buying one, plus most of everything else he needed.


If someone is old enough to get married they should be responsible for their own clothes. It is not your in laws responsibility to make sure your dh has a coat. What did he wear the winter before? He was waiting to get married to buy a winter coat?

I was paying for my clothing long before I got married and bought what I needed when I got engaged. Same with dh. Making a wedding is expensive why do the parents have to pay for a year's worth of clothing too. And just because you are getting married doesn't mean you need everything new. Yes, it's nice but not doable for most.
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amother




Heather
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 9:59 am
amother NeonOrange wrote:
If someone is old enough to get married they should be responsible for their own clothes. It is not your in laws responsibility to make sure your dh has a coat. What did he wear the winter before? He was waiting to get married to buy a winter coat?

I was paying for my clothing long before I got married and bought what I needed when I got engaged. Same with dh. Making a wedding is expensive why do the parents have to pay for a year's worth of clothing too. And just because you are getting married doesn't mean you need everything new. Yes, it's nice but not doable for most.

What you say is true for working guys.
Most full time learning guy do not buy their own clothes.
Where would they have the money for it if they're not working? Scratching Head
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amother




Lily
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 10:02 am
Omg it never dawned on me that I needed new clothing just because I was getting married. Where do people come up with this nonsense?
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amother




Brass
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 10:06 am
I think we have to stop playing by all these games. Do what is good for your own family. Don't follow others.
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amother




Chambray
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2022, 10:07 am
amother NeonOrange wrote:
If someone is old enough to get married they should be responsible for their own clothes. It is not your in laws responsibility to make sure your dh has a coat. What did he wear the winter before? He was waiting to get married to buy a winter coat?

I was paying for my clothing long before I got married and bought what I needed when I got engaged. Same with dh. Making a wedding is expensive why do the parents have to pay for a year's worth of clothing too. And just because you are getting married doesn't mean you need everything new. Yes, it's nice but not doable for most.


How are kids supposed to be buying their own wardrobes long before they get married? Most kids aren't working. I think it's a parents responsibility to clothe, feed, and provide shelter for their children at least till they finish school and start working.
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