The truth, what’s your sons Bain hazmanin schedule?

amother

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 10:30 am

Let me hear the truth….
Are my boys the only ones getting up between 9-10 after much coercion….
And spending much time doing nothing…. (Or nothing I would like)…

amother

Poppy

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 10:54 am

I have one mesivta and one beis medresh.

My older one will go to minyan on his own (early) and longer bein hazmanim he tries to set up chavrusas. If he can't he'll spend a little time learning alone and then rest just hanging out at home. I am OK with it because he has such an intense schedule.

My mesivta son will get up (needs to be woken) for minyan. Usually on time for the last minyan at 9 (so waking up 8:45). He will learn a little with my younger son and then hang out at home.

amother

Blueberry

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 12:07 pm

I have 2 mesivta sons.
They'll get up for the 8:30/9 Shacharis. Come home, eat breakfast and go to sleep from 10-3. Then they'll arrange Chavrusos with breaks for biking/basketball/swming/pizza/burgers.
They're home by 11 pm but prowling around shmoozing and go to sleep at 2am.

amother

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 3:41 pm

Is it a problem if they do nothing much for these days, or do I as a mother need to pressure them to daven, learn, or be productive….

Are any of you worried that if you don’t keep him busy he will be busy finding stuff to watch, go to places you don’t support, etc?

amother

Eggshell

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 4:02 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

LET THEM SLEEP AND RELAX.
That’s what bein hazmanim is for!
They have an insane schedule all year round, give their intensive lives a break.

That is not what bein hazmanim was for. If it is why can't they just continue doing that in yeshiva? Sleep and relax with no schedule there?
Op I'm pretty frustrated as well. My boys eat and eat and eat some more and then rome the house till theyll eventually get the energy to go out to learn hopefully. Then it's back home to eating and sleeping.

amother

Butterscotch

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 4:17 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

LET THEM SLEEP AND RELAX.
That’s what bein hazmanim is for!
They have an insane schedule all year round, give their intensive lives a break.

Any working people you know who get three weeks off now, then by pesach, then by the summer? And random breaks in between for chanuka and purim? I know I don't.

amother

Lightcyan

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 4:21 pm

amother Butterscotch wrote:

Any working people you know who get three weeks off now, then by pesach, then by the summer? And random breaks in between for chanuka and purim? I know I don't.

I don't think it's fair to compare them to working people. Most people their age are in college.

Boys in bais medrash have about 11 weeks off a year (3 weeks tishrei, 4 weeks Nissan, 4 weeks summer). Chanuka and purim are usually just an off shabbos or 2 days off. I don't think college students have less vacation than that. Their semester breaks are pretty long.

amother

DarkGreen

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 4:21 pm

amother Butterscotch wrote:

Any working people you know who get three weeks off now, then by pesach, then by the summer? And random breaks in between for chanuka and purim? I know I don't.

So now teenagers are full grown adults?
Besdirs, working people get up at 6? And come home at 9? That’s not the norm. It is the norm for teenagers though (boys).

amother

DarkGreen

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 4:23 pm

amother Eggshell wrote:

Am I the only mother who is happy for their break? They never get to do just nothing, while my girls have off every Friday, Sunday, and plenty days around holidays and midterms.

amother

Gold

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 4:45 pm

Bein hazmanim needs to stop!! My son actually gets up to go with my husband he then comes home and is tired so he naps. He then gets up and complains he’s bored and anything I ask him to gets a huge sigh!!

amother

Clematis

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 5:31 pm

My mesivta sons bus comes 630 am and they get home 10:45 pm. Including Sunday!!!

Much more intense schedule than your average working person. Just saying.

amother

Lemon

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 5:42 pm

amother Butterscotch wrote:

Any working people you know who get three weeks off now, then by pesach, then by the summer? And random breaks in between for chanuka and purim? I know I don't.

Any working people you know work six days a week from early morning until late at night and even on vacation still do some job functions?

Even Bain Hazemanim you want to take away?

Try a yeshiva bochers schedule for one week and then get to us

amother

Smokey

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 5:55 pm

amother Lemon wrote:

Any working people you know work six days a week from early morning until late at night and even on vacation still do some job functions?

I'm not sure how this became a comparison between working people and yeshiva boys but to answer the question above, they're called mother's and they work for free Smile

Seriously, a question though, do they have a hard time getting up for shachris and arranging chavrusas in yeshiva? Good habits and skills developed in yeshiva should remain once they are home and vice versa.

As boys mature they should be able to carry the skills and habits from over to 'real life' so they become the kind of industrious and responsible men we want our children to be (in whatever they end up doing)

Teenagers and even young adults are still very much developing works in progress, even if they are no longer under your roof. Actually, especially since they are no longer under your roof, enjoy the time you have with them at home and parent them in a more hands on way

amother

Whitewash

Sat, Oct 01 2022, 2:39 pm

Our shul has an extra late Minyan for Bein Hazmanim which is at.... 8:00! So that's when my boys go to Shul. Once in a while they oversleep and then they Daven at home. They rarely sleep in the day they learn a little, read, one likes cooking. One might get a job selling esrogim..

amother

Thistle

Sat, Oct 01 2022, 3:15 pm

amother Butterscotch wrote:

Any working people you know who get three weeks off now, then by pesach, then by the summer? And random breaks in between for chanuka and purim? I know I don't.

Yes
Teachers

amother

Lightpink

Sat, Oct 01 2022, 6:54 pm

My son sleeps till about 11:00, then he davens biyechidus, then he lounges around all day reading or chatting or texting with his friends. Or fighting with his siblings. He doesn't learn a single word all day, but he does daven mincha with a minyan and usually maariv too.

Do you feel better now, OP?

(During the zman he keeps every seder religiously, but he has a hard time getting up in the morning then too.)

amother

Maroon

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 8:50 am

amother Lightpink wrote:

My son does the same and I'm actually happy for him. All year he has an issue getting up, but is forced to. Now he can have those few days in between shabbos and yom tov to sleep in and just relax all day