Playgroup mother is being ridiculous!

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Forum -> Working Women -> Work at Home Mothers

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amother

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 11:58 am

amother Tangerine wrote:

Does it have to be government run to use your brains and practice hygiene that sick children should be home and not exposing other children to whatever their sick with to prevent the disease from spreading further?

My baby was home! Smile

But yes obviously I wouldn't send my sick child into daycare but this is different!

To make it clear to you, it was around 9.30am when I realised that it was HFM and most of the kids were already in my house, playing with my baby.
I thought it was too late to tell everyone by then.
If the Dr had told me on Sunday what it was I definitely would've informed all the parents, closed playgroup and taken the loss.
It was HARD working with a sick baby but I did it for the parents who work or are 'just'. Busy making yt.

Eta: if my older kids are sick I just keep them away from my playgroup as much as possible. They chose to send to my house, its obvious that I have my sick kids home.

BH the older ones a rarely off school and when they are, it's my teen son who's 'got a tummy ache' , or' feels nauseas ' and he stays in his room

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 12:04 pm

watergirl wrote:

These things happen only if you are not taking precautions. Chickenpox is a poor example and I am not willing to get into a vaccine debate but there today, if the average child gets chickenpox, it means precautions were not taken. Still, fever accompanies chickenpox and kids are really uncomfortable when they have it - they need to be home once the parent knows their child has it.

OP is in the UK, we don’t generally vaccinate against chicken pox and nearly every single child gets it,

amother

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 12:17 pm

s1 wrote:

OP is in the UK, we don’t generally vaccinate against chicken pox and nearly every single child gets it,

Right, and we believe, and want our kids to get it, and as young as possible. So if someone has a wedding and its a super inconvenient time for their kid to get it then they can be cautious if they want, even though it comes out after 2 weeks if they caught it. And that would be their choice/circumstance.

watergirl

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 12:21 pm

s1 wrote:

OP is in the UK, we don’t generally vaccinate against chicken pox and nearly every single child gets it,

Was there something in her OP that I was supposed to see and know where she lived?

The rest of my posts are still important. OP needs to create a policy with her pediatrician, distribute it to the parents, and the same policy goes for any of her own children in the house during daycare hours. Even if it means she has to pay someone to stay with her baby in order to keep the baby out of the group's area.

amother

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 12:22 pm

This same mother made a fuss when I went away, and made other arrangements for playgroup to be at my assistants house.
She said it's unfair on the child, so she wouldn't have been happy with other arrangements, and I stayed open for the working mothers.
In the end I had it back in my house whilst I was away to accommodate this child/mother who was worried that her child would get upset.
.

amother

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 12:27 pm

The lack of a writen contract makes things a little more complicated. However, since you are operating your playgroup with rules that are basically universal for childcare settings, this parent is obliged to pay for days their child missed.

From one of the shaile texts that I asked.
I'll see what the other one comes back with, so I can forward them to the mother. Then we'll decide what to do. Maybe I'll just let them off half because I like to keep everyone happy but I feel that I should be paid.

amother

Stoneblue

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 12:30 pm

Rule of life, there will always be 'that' parent who will complain and nothing you do is good enough. But you need to have your own policies in place, even if you aren't registered. Ideally you should have parents sign a contract before they start outlining things such as paying for holidays, illness etc.
Would she have asked for a reduction if it had been another child who started the contagious illness? I don't think that's fair.
Wherever I've sent my children to, it's a given I still pay even when my child is ill and doesn't attend.
I think as long as you have rules, and you keep to them, and remind parents, and it's clear from the beginning, and if they don't like it, they can go somewhere else. If they sense weakness, they will take advantage. There's no point bending backwards for these types of people. It doesn't make them happier and they will still try and push the boundaries further.

amother

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 12:37 pm

amother Stoneblue wrote:

So true
This particular mother is very ungrateful.
She thinks primary schools take off too often (her oldest is in primary) and asked if I can try have her son as much as possible, and stay open as often as I can. I told her that I also need a break! But I'll try to accommodate her when I can. I find it hard to work when I have my kids home from school.

She also doesn't come fetch her son when I call her saying that he's screaming, really upset and seems very tired/unwell and it's totally not like him. She just says I can't come now, sorry, he can sleep when he wants to...

Has never given me a gift or praised me etc even though this is her 2nd child that I've had. She begged me to open up again after having my baby (I closed for 7 months)
I said if she finds a group for me then I will. She did, so I opened. But I feel like she's pushey and complains often.

ohmygosh

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 12:43 pm

Gosh, you wonder sometimes why people bother to post when people are so mean in their comments.

Kids in daycare are exposed to germs constantly and if you want your little one to remain germ free, then they should live at home in a bubble.

My kids have been exposed to many many germs in daycare. That's part of life.

OP clearly stated she did not expose the kids intentionally and once she realized, it was too late, but she did inform the parents at that time.

When a parent signs up to daycare, they pay a monthly fee because it's understood the playgroup teacher has to pay her bills as well and needs a steady income. (Unless it's clear from the beginning that you pay only when you send your child).

During the months of yomim tovim, I don't pay any less tuition or daycare fees.

This mother sounds like a difficult person in general, and in the future I would not take any of her kids into your playgroup.

amother

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 12:58 pm

I text her, can we go halves, and sent her what shaile text sent me.
She said it's not about the money it's the principal. She's so upset by it all that she's pulling her son out of my group and he's not coming back. Tbh I'm a bit relieved, but also upset that she's blaming me for her kids getting HFM. Stuff happens, mistakes happen.

She said she's shocked that I'm asking her to pay even half but she'll tell her husband to pay me. Half or full amount I don't know but I really am upset. I try to bend over backwards to keep myself from having a good name and obviously because I want the kids and parents to be happy but clearly it hasn't worked in this case.

ohmygosh

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 1:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

Honestly I'd just be really grateful that she's leaving.

She sounds really over the top.

amother

Cerise

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 1:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

OP, you posted about that here and pretty much every response told you you were in the wrong in this situation, no? Wasn't this a situation like you deciding on a Friday afternoon that you wanted to take a vacation and letting the parents know that daycare was suddenly going to be somewhere else that Monday? Honestly I was wondering if you were the same poster but wasn't going to say anything until you said it yourself. People here are trying to give you advice on how to do things more professionally to avoid these issues. Just have a policy in place and let parents know from the very beginning what to expect before they commit to your playgroup. (And have a sub on call for the times your child is home sick.)

amother

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 1:03 pm

ohmygosh wrote:

Honestly I'd just be really grateful that she's leaving.

She sounds really over the top.

I am but we really need the money at the moment, and it's been hard getting kids this year as it is. Plus my good name is now down the drain amongst her friends etc...
There are plenty people who are happy with my playgroup so I'll get over it iyh.
Than you

flowerpower

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 1:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

So you’re dealing with a difficult woman. There is always one of those! Stand your ground.

amother

Cerise

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 1:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

My baby was home! Smile

Why was it too late to let parents know at 930 am that their kid was playing with someone with HFM? I'd be very upset if I weren't told in this situation. Just because they already played with your kid doesn't mean they already caught it. Keeping them to play with your kid all day significantly increases the chances. I don't personally know of a single parent who would knowingly keep their kid in that situation and wouldn't take their kids home, but maybe we run in very different circles.

imasinger

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 1:23 pm

Since she made the group that gave you the reason to open, she may feel she deserves better.

What's done is done for now, but I hope you will prepare specific, clear, written policies to send out. These should include what you do when your child is sick, or when theirs are, hours of operation, and whether you're flexible or firm on them, payment policies, and the like. It's a mistake to rely on what's general accepted practice, because that's not clear. Take the time, and spell it out.

IME, anyone who doesn't pay upfront can argue about situations like this. In my private studio, I never allow other payment options unless I'm prepared to deal with the negotiations over the losses when they miss. Being prepared upfront for the possibility makes a difference.

amother

Papayawhip

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 2:08 pm

I am a nurse practitioner that works in pediatrics,
HFM disease is extremely contagious from before the child has symptoms.
At the time the child has the rash everyone was already exposed. You can't close a playgroup every time something is going around, they can also return to daycare as soon as they are feeling better, afebrile and do not have open sores- even if they still have a rash. If someone sends to daycare they are assuming their child will be exposed to many viruses. Most neighborhoods I've lived in you pay per month regardless of how many days they are open that month and you definitely have to pay if your child is sick and misses school.

amother

NeonPurple

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 2:25 pm

amother Hunter wrote:

I never paid for winter break. That month is cheaper tuition. We pay every first of the month. I've sent to several different playgroups over the years.
Schools charge a yearly fee, playgroups a monthly fee. Maybe it's different where you live.

What do you pay for September then?

Ours is monthly regardless of the days.

amother

Tangerine

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 2:27 pm

amother Papayawhip wrote:

You don't close the daycare, but if the mother of the child is the one running the daycare and keeping child home means keeping them in the daycare.... that is not keeping the child "home" I.e. away from other children!!

dancingqueen

Fri, Sep 30 2022, 3:03 pm

Op this time wasn't your fault, since you took your child to the doctor and they were misdiagnosed. But the daycares I send to have rules about children attending when sick and those rules have to apply to the children home with you too.

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