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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 9:52 am
Right now we have 3 bedrooms, a tiny nursery (fits a crib or a twin size bed and nighttable) and a guest bedroom and bathroom combo on the first floor.

Our older daughter really needs her own room at this point but we can only configure that if we create a new room. We cannot move her to the nursery for privacy reasons.

One option we thought of was taking the master bedroom and dividing it into two smaller rooms and we move into the guest room/bathroom.

The thing is if we do that 1) are we sacrificing the value of our home? 2) we lose our guest room that's private (works for us because they are on a different floor and I like that my guests don't sleep near my kids) 3) we need to do a bit of construction to make this all possible, it may not be. 4) the guest room is significantly smaller than our room. We would be able to fit our beds (I hope!) And that's all.

What do you think?

PS my daughter thinks we should just move hahaha
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shirachadasha




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 9:58 am
IMO, your daughter's need for personal space trumps having a guest room.
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amother




Mauve
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:00 am
Why can't your daughter just move into the guest suite. Also if you're outgrowing your space then a guest room is the first thing to go
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amother




Green
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:02 am
I think your daughter should take the guest room. There’s no reason to reserve a space for guests to sometimes use when your daughter needs it.

Maybe that will mean having guests less, and maybe make up with her that when people do come she will have to share a room with a sibling so they can use her room.

Either way it seems like an easy decision to me: Childs needs first, guests last
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amother




Butterscotch
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:03 am
Put her in the guest room. We don’t have a guest room kids double up when we have guests.
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amother




Cantaloupe
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:03 am
amother Mauve wrote:
Why can't your daughter just move into the guest suite. Also if you're outgrowing your space then a guest room is the first thing to go


I second this. When you need the guest room you can ask you dd to move back to the other room. You can tell her his in the beginning so she knows what to expect and not feel like she's getting kicked out.
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amother




Phlox
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:05 am
Honestly this is a very individual life style decision.

How nice that you recognize that your daughter is of the age when she would really benefit from a private room.

In terms of resale value I do think that you shouldn't focus on this aspect unless you plan to move in the next year or so. You should do whatever makes sense for your family at this time. Also dividing a room isn't a huge construction project and can be reconfigured relatively easily - In New York City they actually sell prefabricated walls because people want to divide larger rooms or create a bedroom from a larger living room. But even if you have something framed and dry walled for permanency it would be relatively easy to go back

My personal opinion is that having personal space for your children and family is more important than having a dedicated guest room. If you can't host people comfortably then that is the reality. I grew up and my parents only had very close relatives staying over and not that often and so people didn't need that much privacy from their guests. But again that is a personal life style decision.

You also mention your own personal comfort level. Obviously the master is going to be more spacious and luxurious in feel from the smaller guest bath. Do you want to make that sacrifice?
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Rubies




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:11 am
What about the nursery? Can that be her tiny own space?
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amother




Ghostwhite
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:20 am
amother OP wrote:
Right now we have 3 bedrooms, a tiny nursery (fits a crib or a twin size bed and nighttable) and a guest bedroom and bathroom combo on the first floor.

Our older daughter really needs her own room at this point but we can only configure that if we create a new room. We cannot move her to the nursery for privacy reasons.

One option we thought of was taking the master bedroom and dividing it into two smaller rooms and we move into the guest room/bathroom.

The thing is if we do that 1) are we sacrificing the value of our home? 2) we lose our guest room that's private (works for us because they are on a different floor and I like that my guests don't sleep near my kids) 3) we need to do a bit of construction to make this all possible, it may not be. 4) the guest room is significantly smaller than our room. We would be able to fit our beds (I hope!) And that's all.

What do you think?

PS my daughter thinks we should just move hahaha

You have 3 bedrooms plus a nursery and a guest room? Or 3 bedrooms total; 1 master, 1 nursery and 1 guest room?
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amother




Oatmeal
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:30 am
Your daughter should get the guest room, it's a no brainer. A guest room is an extra, if you have an extra room that no one neede to use.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:50 am
Ok clarifying some details. The guest room is very far from the other bedrooms. She does not want that bedroom. I've already offered it to her now.

I do not currently have a master bath. The guest room does (just how the house was built, zero plumbing anywhere near the master bedroom. On that level it would be an upgrade. My master bedroom right now is spacious (with a sitting area) and there's the nursery right next door, if we have another baby.

We can potentially renovate the basement and make a guest room there but that's way down the line and lots of money.

We live very OOT and the guest room enables us to see our friends and family.
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amother




Lightcoral
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:56 am
amother OP wrote:
Ok clarifying some details. The guest room is very far from the other bedrooms. She does not want that bedroom. I've already offered it to her now.

I do not currently have a master bath. The guest room does (just how the house was built, zero plumbing anywhere near the master bedroom. On that level it would be an upgrade. My master bedroom right now is spacious (with a sitting area) and there's the nursery right next door, if we have another baby.

We can potentially renovate the basement and make a guest room there but that's way down the line and lots of money.

We live very OOT and the guest room enables us to see our friends and family.

Too bad
You don’t have to give up your bedroom because she doesn’t want it. It’s available for her and that’s good enough.
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amother




Butterscotch
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 11:01 am
Even if the update it's too bad. She has choices, no privacy and staying where she is, or moving to the guest room which is far from everyone but has privacy.
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amother




Oatmeal
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 11:02 am
If the nursery is empty now, she can move in there.
If she's at the age of needing her own room, she should be ok to be in the guest room far from the other rooms. She has options. You don't need to turn over the house and move out of your own room to accommodate her exact whim.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 11:04 am
amother Ghostwhite wrote:
You have 3 bedrooms plus a nursery and a guest room? Or 3 bedrooms total; 1 master, 1 nursery and 1 guest room?


2 regular rooms
1 master with 1 nursery right off of it.
1 guest room on a different floor.
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amother




Ghostwhite
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 11:07 am
amother Oatmeal wrote:
If the nursery is empty now, she can move in there.
If she's at the age of needing her own room, she should be ok to be in the guest room far from the other rooms. She has options. You don't need to turn over the house and move out of your own room to accommodate her exact whim.

I would close off the nursery and create a doorway to the hallway she's not walking out into your room.
Otherwise go with the split of your bedroom into 1 room for her and 1 room for the guest. And enjoy the guest room with the en suite. Only if the room is big enough and there's a large enough closet being that you won't have anymore room in there besides your beds.
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amother




Bellflower
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 11:08 am
Why doesnt she want the guest room? She would have a bath to herself! For a teen to give it up says something. What are her reasons?
Explain that you arent moving. That isnt possible. She either stays where she is or goes to the guest room.

Also, why is the nursery not an option? Is it only accessed through your room?
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 11:12 am
I can understand why she doesn't want the guest room. She has severe anxiety, this is one of the reasons she needs her own room, she has things she does to calm herself or help her fall asleep. Being far from everyone will exacerbate her anxiety. She tried it a while ago for a week. At that point we said sorry we have to work with what we have. Lately it's become more and more clear that she can't share. Daughter is not NT.
The nursery is off our bedroom. The youngest is there now but I can possibly move things around to have it available. However, we would have zero privacy. When I offered it to her (or her brother and she can take his room) she said "um no ma, you can literally hear everything happening in your room from there, only a baby should be there". I did not ask how she knew that Can't Believe It
We've been brainstorming for a while now.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 11:16 am
amother Ghostwhite wrote:
I would close off the nursery and create a doorway to the hallway she's not walking out into your room.
Otherwise go with the split of your bedroom into 1 room for her and 1 room for the guest. And enjoy the guest room with the en suite. Only if the room is big enough and there's a large enough closet being that you won't have anymore room in there besides your beds.


There is a door to the hallway already.
The guest room doesn't have closets in the actual room. There is a small hallway with a closet, a door to the bathroom and a door to the bedroom. Aside for the bathroom and increase in privacy, it would definitely be a downgrade for us, but maybe that's what we do to accommodate our kids and their needs?
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tweety1




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2022, 11:18 am
amother OP wrote:
Right now we have 3 bedrooms, a tiny nursery (fits a crib or a twin size bed and nighttable) and a guest bedroom and bathroom combo on the first floor.

Our older daughter really needs her own room at this point but we can only configure that if we create a new room. We cannot move her to the nursery for privacy reasons.

One option we thought of was taking the master bedroom and dividing it into two smaller rooms and we move into the guest room/bathroom.

The thing is if we do that 1) are we sacrificing the value of our home? 2) we lose our guest room that's private (works for us because they are on a different floor and I like that my guests don't sleep near my kids) 3) we need to do a bit of construction to make this all possible, it may not be. 4) the guest room is significantly smaller than our room. We would be able to fit our beds (I hope!) And that's all.

What do you think?

PS my daughter thinks we should just move hahaha

How old is she? Makes a difference. My oldest wanted his/her own privacy since age 12. We didn't give it in because it meant sacrificing alot. At age 16 dh decided that at that age its only fair. He offered on his own to give up his Seforim room. Dh still uses it when he needs to but dc doesn't mind because dh doesn't use it for long. Age makes a difference. A 12 yr old doesn't need privacy. A 16 year old does.
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