Is prepping for these holidays w kids miserable for everyone

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Succos

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amother

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 9:31 pm

we now have an almost 2 yr old and a 1.5 month old, and preparing for all these holidays has been absolutely miserable since the older kid was past the infant sleep/eat only stage.

we were together for several years pre-kids and enjoyed the holiday prep. both of us like to cook and we both work hard in the kitchen. husband is really good with pesach cleaning. etc.

now it's torture getting ready for the holidays. older kid needs constant attention and goes absolutely stir crazy if we spend the better part of the day essentially neglecting him while we put up the sukkah all day (today) or cook for yom tov or clean for pesach or whatever. I can't imagine how miserable this must be for people with more than 2 kids.

any suggestions? should we hire a babysitter to watch the kid every sunday the month before pesach when we clean, and the sunday before sukkot when we put up the sukkah and the morning of yom tov when we're cooking all day?

amother

Electricblue

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 9:33 pm

You prep at night or during his nap time or in short intervals while he is around.
You need to just be organized about it and maybe start more in advance then you normally would. It’s not easy. Especially with a newborn as well but you can’t really expect to totally ignore a two year old all day:(
Or he can help you with the cooking like bring you potatoes form the cabinet or pour the sugar you hand him into the batter etc…
Good luck!!!

amother

SandyBrown

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 9:35 pm

Getting things done with kids underfoot is always a challenge, though not miserable or torture. I try to set up my day that I'm focused on them most of the time with small pockets of time that I can complete one small task. I set them up with an activity and while they're engaged, I have a few short minutes. Your kids are really young and need constant attention right now. Most of the work I leave for the evenings after my younger ones are in bed.

amother

Amber

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 9:41 pm

I have kids similar ages. At this stage, I have learned to cut corners. I cook simple meals that do not take a lot of time and I do as early in the morning as possible. I also buy some of my food ready made. I have everything ready including set table by 12pm Erev shabbos / Yom Tov and the rest of the day, I spend with the kids. Sukkah is an easy canvas , takes about 1.5 hours to put up. My husband brings up the materials motzei Yom Kippur and puts it together the following day whenever he has time. I realize it’s just a stage and hopefully when the kids are a bit older, I’ll have more time to prepare a fancy meal and set up.

amother

Cadetblue

Sun, Oct 02 2022, 10:20 pm

yes it is. newborns are very unpredictable and I have no breaks or evenings to do anything for the first 6 months of my childrens lives unless I hire help. last time I had a newborn during the chagim I thought I was going to have a breakdown

amother

Impatiens

Mon, Oct 03 2022, 12:10 am

Can I point out that this has nothing to do with miserable kids but more that you are post partum! 1.5 month old means that YOU still need to recover from birth! Doing anything will be overwhelming and hard. I totally get it... Try to take things easier. Maybe get some boys to help set up the Sukka and try to cut down on the cooking and baking.

Things do get a lot easier... just hang in there!

octopus

Mon, Oct 03 2022, 1:19 am

Your kids are really little. Cut yourself a lot of slack. Things are going to be very different now. Have the lowest possible expectations.

SG18

Mon, Oct 03 2022, 3:38 am

Don't neglect your older child. Include him. My 1.5 year old loves to help. She carries ingredients from myself to DH, bottles or containers mostly, but also fruit/vegetables, potatoes... Utensils as well. Really anything she can carry safely.
She loves to sit in her high chair so she's on our level and feel involved.
We both cook together while she's awake and it's honestly more enjoyable than it was before. Definitely easier than entertaining her and then having to cook while she's asleep.

imaima

Mon, Oct 03 2022, 4:21 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes of course
When you have a toddler you do things when someone else supervised them or in the night.
You should divide dh watches the child, you cook. Why do you need to do everything together?

amother

NeonPink

Mon, Oct 03 2022, 4:47 am

You can’t get as much done as you used to, and you’ll have to get prep done in little pockets of time. Since you have a newborn, it’s especially hard BH. Cooking marathons can’t happen anymore, just cook a bit at a time at night and freeze it. Simplify your menus. Hire a teen to help dh put up the sukkah, since you can’t help anymore because you’re watching the kids. Your avodah before a YT has changed now that you have little kids. It can be an adjustment for sure!

amother

Iris

Mon, Oct 03 2022, 8:58 am

Not miserable but hard, yes. Almost impossible. Ftr my newborn is 6 mo old.

erm

Mon, Oct 03 2022, 9:00 am

Miserable seems to be a bit extreme way to describe it. Challenging yes!

amother

Hotpink

Mon, Oct 03 2022, 9:57 am

amother OP wrote:

As others have said, once you have kids you need to change your methodologies.
Lots of cooking/cleaning at night or during nap times and freeze. Sunday becomes kid time.

If you work during the week, please cinsuder carefully before you get a babysitter every week just so you can cook together. Your kids need time with you and dh.

Anything that's a one person job (cooking, cleaning) one does while the other watches the kids. If you and dh like the hang around eachother aspect then try to watch kids nearby as much as possible.

Two person jobs like succah, well for that if your nap times are not enough, you might need a babysitter. However, consider teaming up with another family to be that second person do one of you can still watch the kids. You'll need to build two succah s though!

Yom tov should not be misrable!

renslet

Mon, Oct 03 2022, 10:07 am

Your baby is a month and a half? Get help to put up the sukka, simplify your menu massively and just look after yourself and baby.
If your husband can cook make double recipes of stuff that freeze well,chicken soup, roast, kugel and take out as needed. Buy challah.
Please, just rest.
I know in the states women go back to work at six weeks post partum but most of the world stay home for much longer, I find that the first three months I'm literally just surviving, never mind building a sukka

ra_mom

Mon, Oct 03 2022, 10:07 am

It's very very hard. The laundry especially is so hard with more clothes (shabbos delicates) being used, less time to do the laundry, while so much planning, cooking, shopping needs to go on (and juggling the home and work at the same time).
Plan in advance, learning what freezes well and start cooking weeks before. Slow and steady, leaving room for those inevitable days when you're just bombed and can't get to anything.
We're in this together. Super hard, but we can try to lift each other up and enjoy the family time.

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