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Possible to sleep train a 6 month old baby without crying?
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 12:59 pm
Not going to let him cry it out at this age.
Any other way to effectively sleep train?
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amother




DarkCyan
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 1:02 pm
Nope.

Do you think he is too old or too young to have him cry it out? Curious why you don't want to do that.
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amother




Amaranthus
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 1:04 pm
Any method involves crying. Babies cry to communicate with you. No crying ever is not realistic .
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amother




Tangerine
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 1:12 pm
Get into a good routine, bottle, bath, sing some songs, put them down before they are tired. If they cry you can pat them or shush them, sit nearby. Try moving back a bit so they don't see you, if they cry you pat them and say shhhh it's ok. Repeat until they fall asleep. The biggest key at this age is putting them down awake and happy, once they are tired they will cry and not be able to put themselves to sleep.
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amother




Gladiolus
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 1:16 pm
No, the idea of sleep training is cry it out.
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amother




Dodgerblue
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 1:20 pm
amother Tangerine wrote:
Get into a good routine, bottle, bath, sing some songs, put them down before they are tired. If they cry you can pat them or shush them, sit nearby. Try moving back a bit so they don't see you, if they cry you pat them and say shhhh it's ok. Repeat until they fall asleep. The biggest key at this age is putting them down awake and happy, once they are tired they will cry and not be able to put themselves to sleep.


I did this at 15m. Worked. Hard work tho.

What is the goal of trying at 6m? I think they are still hungry at night at that age. They need the feeding.
is baby partying at night? at bedtime? Personally, If baby is waking, eating, and going right back to sleep once or twice a night, I would just bear it and not do anything. I try to push myself to be in bed by 11 so a get a decent amount of sleep. I'm up by 7 usually.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:01 pm
amother Dodgerblue wrote:
I did this at 15m. Worked. Hard work tho.

What is the goal of trying at 6m? I think they are still hungry at night at that age. They need the feeding.
is baby partying at night? at bedtime? Personally, If baby is waking, eating, and going right back to sleep once or twice a night, I would just bear it and not do anything. I try to push myself to be in bed by 11 so a get a decent amount of sleep. I'm up by 7 usually.


I have no prob waking up multiple times at night to feed. I can't get him to sleep after feedings or any time. If he would eat and go back to sleep that would be amazing.

But I do think it's too young to have them cry and cry.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:03 pm
amother Amaranthus wrote:
Any method involves crying. Babies cry to communicate with you. No crying ever is not realistic .


Right, they cry to communicate, and then I should ignore him?
Crying and crying and not being responded to is not good for a baby.
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amother




Lightpink
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:06 pm
You will have a LOT less crying in the long run if you let him cry for half a week. On his part and yours.

Also, 6 months is the optimum age.

You’re doing no favour to him by not allowing him to learn to self-soothe.

If you can’t do it, let your husband try.
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amother




DarkCyan
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:09 pm
Most healthy babies do not need to feed during the night once they are 4-5 months old. Confirm this with your pediatrician, of course. But once they're at that point, they're only waking up during the night to feed because they're used to that routine, not because they actually need to feed. Changing their routine is the key, and sleep training them is the best way to do that. It'll take a few nights of crying, but after that, they should be happily sleeping through the night.

I personally think it's better to do it when they're younger rather than older, because they won't have the same attachment issues.

We did this with all our kids, and they have all been sleeping beautifully through the night from the time they were 3-4 months old.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:20 pm
I hear.

So what does it look like? Put baby in calm, and then what? He will start screaming.
Stay and pat his back and shush him? Leave?

I don't see him calming down because he just cries and gets himself so worked up.

For ex, in car when driving on a trip he just screamed and screamed and screamed until we stopped at a rest stop.
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amother




Amaranthus
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:25 pm
amother OP wrote:
Right, they cry to communicate, and then I should ignore him?
Crying and crying and not being responded to is not good for a baby.


My point is they babies cry for all sorts of reasons. My babies cried during baths. Does this mean they shouldn’t be bathed? Of course not. I knew he needs a bath. Same for let’s say vaccines. Or tummy time. I can go on and on. IMO teaching them to learn to sleep is as important as anything else. CIO is one methods but any method will involve some crying. You said your baby cries in the car: that doesn’t t mean you don’t go in the car, does it?
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amother




Lightpink
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:29 pm
amother OP wrote:

For ex, in car when driving on a trip he just screamed and screamed and screamed until we stopped at a rest stop.


You can look up the Ferber method - it may work for you.

The car is different. Many babies only sleep in their cribs.
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amother




DarkCyan
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:35 pm
Here's what the process looked like for us:

1. Confirm with doctor that baby is old enough to go through the night without feeding.
2. Before bedtime, give one last feed, bath, pajamas.
3. Put baby in crib, give a kiss, turn off light, leave the room and close the door.
4. Put on a white noise machine / earplugs if you can't handle the crying. Within a half hour - 45 minutes, baby should be sleeping.
5. If baby is still crying after an hour, you can go in to calm baby down, then try again.
6. Once baby is sleeping, do not go back into the room until morning. The goal is for baby to learn how to stop relying on you or feeding to go to sleep, and instead learn how to self soothe.
7. Do this exact process for a few nights straight, and within 1 week, baby should be able to fall asleep on their own within a couple minutes of when you put them down to bed, and even if they wake up during the night, they'll be able to go back to sleep within a couple minutes on their own.

This process worked beautifully for all of our kids, and they are happy, healthy, and well functioning. And we all get the sleep we need!
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amother




Tangerine
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:42 pm
amother OP wrote:
I hear.

So what does it look like? Put baby in calm, and then what? He will start screaming.
Stay and pat his back and shush him? Leave?

I don't see him calming down because he just cries and gets himself so worked up.

For ex, in car when driving on a trip he just screamed and screamed and screamed until we stopped at a rest stop.


Is he strapped in correctly? Chest clip at armpits? Not pulled too tight but tight that you can’t fit a finger under? Is his bottom all the way back? Most babies who scream in the car are not buckled properly. And yes if you are there comforting him he should calm down unless something is bothering him.
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amother




Wandflower
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:44 pm
amother DarkCyan wrote:
Here's what the process looked like for us:

1. Confirm with doctor that baby is old enough to go through the night without feeding.
2. Before bedtime, give one last feed, bath, pajamas.
3. Put baby in crib, give a kiss, turn off light, leave the room and close the door.
4. Put on a white noise machine / earplugs if you can't handle the crying. Within a half hour - 45 minutes, baby should be sleeping.
5. If baby is still crying after an hour, you can go in to calm baby down, then try again.
6. Once baby is sleeping, do not go back into the room until morning. The goal is for baby to learn how to stop relying on you or feeding to go to sleep, and instead learn how to self soothe.
7. Do this exact process for a few nights straight, and within 1 week, baby should be able to fall asleep on their own within a couple minutes of when you put them down to bed, and even if they wake up during the night, they'll be able to go back to sleep within a couple minutes on their own.

This process worked beautifully for all of our kids, and they are happy, healthy, and well functioning. And we all get the sleep we need!


This sounds so mean. Can’t imagine letting my baby cry for an hour without coming to her. Babies feel so vulnerable and scared without their mommy - they deserve better imo.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:45 pm
amother Amaranthus wrote:
My point is they babies cry for all sorts of reasons. My babies cried during baths. Does this mean they shouldn’t be bathed? Of course not. I knew he needs a bath. Same for let’s say vaccines. Or tummy time. I can go on and on. IMO teaching them to learn to sleep is as important as anything else. CIO is one methods but any method will involve some crying. You said your baby cries in the car: that doesn’t t mean you don’t go in the car, does it?


Of course babies cry, it's the ignoring them part that bothers me.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:47 pm
amother Tangerine wrote:
Is he strapped in correctly? Chest clip at armpits? Not pulled too tight but tight that you can’t fit a finger under? Is his bottom all the way back? Most babies who scream in the car are not buckled properly. And yes if you are there comforting him he should calm down unless something is bothering him.


He was screaming because he was tired but couldn't fall asleep in the car. He has always been a terrible sleeper. He does the same in his crib if I would leave him there.
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amother




Wandflower
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:55 pm
I’ve heard of methods where you only let the baby cry for 5 minutes before going in to comfort them without picking them up, like putting your hand on them or putting a paci in. Wonder if that would work.
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amother




DarkCyan
 

Post Thu, Oct 06 2022, 2:55 pm
amother Wandflower wrote:
This sounds so mean. Can’t imagine letting my baby cry for an hour without coming to her. Babies feel so vulnerable and scared without their mommy - they deserve better imo.


As with everything in life - one must find the right balance that works for them. This process worked for us and our kids. And to be honest - It was about 2-3 nights where they cried for anything close to an hour. After that, it was down to a few minutes. And in the long run - it's absolutely worth it, because they are so comfortable in their own beds, on their own routines.. you quickly forget those couple nights. I do not think it was mean. I think it's mean to deprive one's child of developing the skills to self soothe and learn how to be comfortable with their own bed at night.
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