Is there a hs that doesn’t bombard the girls with homework?

amother

Wed, Oct 26 2022, 7:20 pm

My daughter is in 9th grade. She leaves the house at 7:25am (insane). She comes home at 5:30 completely drained.
She has a few hours of homework. Takes so, so long to study for tests.
She came home today weighed down, sad about some test marks, stressed about all her homework plus the test tomorrow… after eating supper and unwinding she began doing her homework at 6:30. It’s after 10pm and she’s still not done. She struggles with school work in general but cares very much and tries as hard as she can so she doesn’t feel embarrassed in class.
She’s so tired and still has to finish one more subject. She has to be up at 7 and start all over again tomorrow.
This is a nightmare!!!!!
Please tell me if your daughter is in a hs that has less pressure… I know it won’t be easy but I would do whatever it takes to switch her to another school.
The school she is in was not known to be the most academic but somewhere in the middle. This is not the middle in my opinion. At least not for my daughter.

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Oct 26 2022, 7:29 pm

I went to one of the high school with the name of soo academic and hard, tons of homework and pressure...
When I was there (not so long ago) people always asked me if I was managing and how hard it was. I hardly ever did homework, studied for tests minimally and did reports the night before. I wasn't slacking off I just wasn't SOOO into it.
My good friend was like your daughter. Studies for the oral quiz the whole entire night.

I really think it has nothing to do with the school but only with the student.

amother

Wed, Oct 26 2022, 7:54 pm

amother Anemone wrote:

She might need accommodations it shouldn't be this hard. Would she be willing to talk to the school about what she's going through?

Not if she would stand out as being different. She just wants to be like everyone else even if it’s a tremendous struggle for her.

amother

Purple

Wed, Oct 26 2022, 8:07 pm

Ninth grade, is very hard in the beginning, by the end of the year she'll have it more figured out. If she's having a really hard time in a specific subject you could get her a tutor. My daughters elementary was on a lower level in Hebrew so she was having a hard time in High School because most of the Jewish subjects were taught in Hebrew, so I got her a tutor and it really helped.

amother

Wed, Oct 26 2022, 8:21 pm

amother Purple wrote:

She doesn’t want a tutor after school. She says she just can’t sit with a tutor after such a long day.

amother

Ghostwhite

Wed, Oct 26 2022, 8:40 pm

Would you fit into chedvas? My dd doesn't seem to have so much homework. She's more easygoing about it than it sounds like your dd is. But Chedvas has tracks and they really just want their girls to do well and be happy.

I actually stopped typing for a minute because my dd was talking to me. She was telling me about a teacher she loves who doesn't believe in homework.

We had parent orientation last night and I was so jealous that my dd has such amazing teachers. I wish I would have had such teachers in high school

care4u

Wed, Oct 26 2022, 8:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

She doesn’t want a tutor after school. She says she just can’t sit with a tutor after such a long day.

Mom of 9th grader, too. I hv a tutor come twice a week for an hour.
DD studies LESS bec it's so efficient.
The place I used even matched her with a graduate from her school.
Dm me for info if you want.

amother

Wed, Oct 26 2022, 9:16 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

I wish she could go to chedvas because of all that I heard about their academics… she really wouldn’t fit in. We spoke about it a lot last year because I thought it would be a great choice for her academically. There were other things to consider… you are very lucky you’re daughter is so happy.

amother

Wed, Oct 26 2022, 9:21 pm

care4u wrote:

What do you mean by ‘place you used’? I arranged for a tutor for her in grades 6-8. It was such a pressure… she hated having to sit with the tutor. Obviously I got her a tutor because I wanted to make things easier for her. I’ve offered to arrange a tutor for her this year a few times but she really doesn’t want. I would do anything to make life easier for her.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Oct 27 2022, 6:37 am

I don't think you should jump to switching schools yet. 9th grade is an adjustment and it takes time . If she's happy socially and likes the school other then the academics, I would give it time. She will find friends that would accept her for who she is and nothing wrong with being a 70-80 student.

keym

Thu, Oct 27 2022, 6:55 am

A few points OP.

1) these first 4 weeks after Sukkos in 9th grade are the hardest adjustment. They buckle down to serious work and tests no break.
But in a few weeks, they do get into the swing. They also figure out the style and expectations of each teacher. Who you need to study each night for, who you can skim notes on the bus, which teachers give deceptively hard or easy tests, etc.

2) if you haven't yet, look into the modified programs in the school. It's not always a stigma. In some schools, it's seen as normal for a few girls to be doing modified in any given subject and no one thinks about it.

3) talk to her mechaneches now. Don't wait until PTA to first start talking.

Chayalle

Thu, Oct 27 2022, 7:03 am

My DDs went/go to BK. My girls all found (coming from BF - and note that my current DD in BK had BF's hardest 8th grade teacher last year) that 9th grade in BK is easier than BF was! However, we found they up the ante in 10th grade. I wouldn't be suprised if this is deliberate - they make 9th grade easier to ease the adjustment for girls coming from all different schools and levels.

They also do have an optional extra program called Chidud, that many girls participate in, with extra studying, that keeps those who want to be busy occupied....

keym

Thu, Oct 27 2022, 7:12 am

Chayalle wrote:

My daughter found 9th grade in her HS much easier than 8th grade in Bais Faiga also

But there were many girls in her class who found it way more challenging. Bais Faiga is known for having a challenging 6-8 grade program. Other schools are much easier and the 9th grade adjustment is much much harder.

Additionally, the shift from 3-6 teachers to 15 teachers, the earlier and later day, and all the other changes from elementary school (even a big one) to high school difficult.

amother

Amaranthus

Thu, Oct 27 2022, 7:38 am

Have you reviewed your daughter's homework assignments yourself? Is she being assigned an amount of work every night that would take a typical student 2-3 hours of work? Or is the problem that the work takes HER 2-3 hours because she is struggling through it?

amother

Freesia

Thu, Oct 27 2022, 7:44 am

It depends on the student but I found the first 6 weeks of 9th grade very overwhelming. My cousin told me it gets easier. It did. That said, she doesn't have to be an A student. That wad my goal. Unless she has big plans, B's are fine. At the end of the day she has to take care of herself and not get burnt out.

care4u

Thu, Oct 27 2022, 11:02 am

amother OP wrote:

There is a woman in Lakewood who arranges a tutor for you and if you're not happy with the tutor she will find you another one.
Dm me for info if you want.
My daughter also had a tutor a few years ago and I didn't think she would want one but I kept off hand mentioning to her about how I know High School is very difficult in the beginning and I wonder if she had someone to streamline her homework if it would be helpful and at the end of the summer she came over to me and asked me to arrange it.
I really feel for both you and your daughter. Its really hard!!!

amother

Honey

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 8:31 pm

Its the type of kid.

I have 2 high schoolers. One is chilled like a cucumber. She reviews her notes and I see her do homework some of the time. Does average well but doesn't break a sweat over marks or school. She has load of common sense and is okay.

The other is next level perfectionist and takes school way too hard. She studies for a quiz like one studies for a regent.

amother

Impatiens

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 8:37 pm

amother Honey wrote:

Some kids have the personality of the first girl you described, but if they did what your dd does, they would fail, not just do average.