Would you name your baby a very similar name to your sibling

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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names

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amother

Burgundy

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 12:11 am

I got a brother and a nephew very close in age that are named after the same grandfather.
We call my brother uncle (just uncle, not uncle x- as a nickname )
And the nephew has a nonsense nickname for ex- mushshmu LOL

amother

Acacia

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 2:39 am

I named my son the same name as my brother. Not after the same person. My son is named for my husband’s grandfather. It’s a typical name but they happen to be the only 2 people in a huge family with that name. At first my brother wasn’t so happy about it, now he’s used to it. It didn’t even occur to me to ask him beforehand…so many others in the family have the same name…also what was I supposed to do? Not name after my husband’s grandfather?

amother

cornflower

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 3:30 am

People give the exact same name as a sibling for example when naming after a grandparent

amother

Peachpuff

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 7:33 am

I did this for a middle name and didn't think twice about it because my sibling never uses it and we don't either. I think my mom thought it was a little weird but we were naming after someone on my side! I don't even know why they used it for my sibling unless there was someone else with that name I don't know about. Anyway I probably wouldn't if it was the first name/name commonly used, but I wouldn't judge anyone else for doing it since I know there are lots of reasons for using a particular name.

hodeez

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 7:46 am

It's a little weird if you have 2 siblings. Makes much more sense when you have like 13

amother

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 8:47 am

Thanks for everyone's responses! So my parents specifically did not name me after one of their parents because the other one had a sibling with that name. So I was actually surprised how many of you said you would, just because of what I heard at home.

Apparently, the reason my family is careful is that it is well-known an ayin hara to name after an older living relative because the מלאך המוות (angel of death) might get confused and take the baby's neshama instead of the older adults who are closer to the end of their life anyway. Though maybe this should only apply to people who are actually old? I am really not an expert on these things at all.

However, seeing as so many of you use your sibling's exact name, though I probably wouldn't use the exact name, it seems reasonable to use a similar name like in my examples.

amother

Cantaloupe

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 8:49 am

I wouldn’t

amother

Tiffanyblue

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 8:52 am

2 of my children have same name as sibling, named after grandfather and great grandfather, same person as sibling! One we call the same and one we call a nickname.
Absolutely no problem.

amother

Tiffanyblue

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 9:11 am

Always discuss with a rav if you are uncomfortable.

amother

Junglegreen

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 9:56 am

I feel like this is very community/family dependent.
I'm chassidish, large family kah. It's very normal to name after grandparents that have passed away. So there are lots of the same name going around. So if someone Rochel passed away recently almost every little girl for the next few years will be Rochel.

When I got married I didn't know all my new little cousins names. So I would just say "oh are you Miriam?" 50% of the time I was right. If she said no I would say "oh you must be Feigy..." because those were the names of my 2 grandmothers that passed away.

But if your family doesn't do this, then it might be inappropriate to give the same name. If your not sure, maybe ask the relative if they mind...

Chayalle

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 10:22 am

amother OP wrote:

I never heard of this. Is there a source?

amother

Peru

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 11:55 pm

I would definitely do a similar name. The same name I think I would only do if it's to name after someone.

amother

Peru

Wed, Nov 02 2022, 11:56 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I never heard of this. Is there a source?

I thought this is why people don't marry spouses that have the same name as their parents. Did anyone else hear this?

a2z

Thu, Nov 03 2022, 2:25 am

amother Peru wrote:

I thought this is why people don't marry spouses that have the same name as their parents. Did anyone else hear this?

That's for kovod reasons,

amother

Copper

Thu, Nov 03 2022, 2:26 am

Yes I did and my sister loves it. She thinks it’s very cute and she is flattered that her cute little niece’s name is so similar to her name.

salt

Thu, Nov 03 2022, 4:34 am

amother OP wrote:

Never heard of this reason.
It is a very popular custom in sefardi sectors to name babies after their living grandparents. It's considered a big honour for the grandparents.
So it's not that clear cut. Sounds a bit superstitious to me.

In addition, if that's the reason, why would the angel of death just mix up the baby with the older relative? What if there is a adult neighbour, friend, teacher, family doctor, with the same name, or any person really?

amother

Thu, Nov 03 2022, 6:22 pm

Our family will use names even if cousins or nieces/nephews have. Just not adults from our generation our above.

I have no idea what the source is for the potential mix up by the angel of death (or how it works). I have occasionally heard this idea from others as well outside my family, so I know my family didn't make it up, but that doesn't mean I know what the origin is. If I find anything out, I will post back. Or if anyone else is familiar, please sure.

Not naming after a living parent (or some don't marry someone with the same name as their parent) is for separate reasons, I understood it as having to do with כיבוד אב ואם that you should not say your parents' names.

It is definitely an ashkenazi idea regardless, as sefardim name after living relatives.

But now a question back to the rest of you - if the angel of death isn't the reason, how come ashkenazim don't name after living parents or grandparents? Is it just because of כיבוד אב ואם? How come it applies to grandparents then, there is no issue that I am aware of in saying your grandparents names. Are there other reasons that ashkenazim don't name after living relatives?

amother

Seablue

Thu, Nov 03 2022, 8:21 pm

Probably not. I'm not a fan of similar names within a family, and rejected some names I liked because I had nieces or nephews with those names. It pays to be the first in your generation to have kids, so you can chap arain all the good names before they're gone. Then you can get all huffy and post on imamother about the nerve of your sil who ruined your life and dissed your parents by giving her twins the same names as your #1 ds and #1 dd when there were plenty of deceased relatives who hadn't yet been named after.

OTOH if you're not the first of your generation to procreate, and you LOOOOOOOVE a name similar to that of a relative, don't let that stop you.

amother

Seablue

Thu, Nov 03 2022, 8:28 pm

I guess people don't have much confidence in the intelligence and reliability of the malach hamoves. Why they think he's any less reliable than any other messenger of G-d is a mystery to me. Why Sefaradim should have more faith in his perception than Ashkenazim is also a mystery to me.

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