Feel like crying. What should I do?

amother

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 5:51 pm

My 5 yo is taking plates and spoons from
Dinner and throwing into the playroom. I work so hard all day- work, being a wife and mother. I’m so upset by this. He did not listen when I told him to stop. I was going to yell so instead I went to my room to cry. Help

amother

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 5:58 pm

amother Wheat wrote:

YOU ARE THE BEST MOM
I think I would have yelled at him.

Not really. I yell at him usually when he does this. Today I decided I can’t. I’m still upstairs in my bed. Help!

snailmail

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 6:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

Not really. I yell at him usually when he does this. Today I decided I can’t. I’m still upstairs in my bed. Help!

Benn there done that. Sometimes its just best to remove yourself from the situation instead of yelling.
I have yelled; whispered; stood & stared; ignored it & cleaned it up; ignored it & left it there...
and each time it just happeneds again. I havent found the perfect solution yet, but I'm still working on it! Try & be patient. Eventually (hopefully) they will grow out of it.
Lots of hugs.

Highstrung

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 6:29 pm

It is extremely frustrating. In the last 2 hours my 4 yr old threw crayons all over the dining room.
She took her clothes off left them on the floor in the hallway, dressed up in dress up clothes and then dumped them each in my living room and dining room.
She then poured out a card game (that doesn’t belong to her) all over the kitchen floor and on and on and on. She refuses to pick anything up. But I refuse to get bent out shape and to yell , because I’ll just be adding to my aggravation. And yes, sometimes I feel like crying.

amother

Seablue

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 6:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

I feel bad for you and I feel bad for him. Something is making him feel upset or dysregulated. He's not just doing this to make your life difficult.

imorethanamother

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 6:51 pm

I’ll probably get pulled over by the parenting police, but it’s not you who should go to her room and cry. It’s him. He needs to go into a time out if he can’t behave.

amother

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 6:52 pm

Highstrung wrote:

Your screen name is a misnomer Wink

amother

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 6:53 pm

amother Seablue wrote:

I feel bad for you and I feel bad for him. Something is making him feel upset or dysregulated. He's not just doing this to make your life difficult.

He’s just a very active adventurous brave kid. Fun loving. The only thing wrong in his life (and it’s a problem, I am not minimizing it) is that I yell at him often because I can’t handle his wildness.
But tonight I didn’t.

hodeez

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 6:56 pm

imorethanamother wrote:

I’ll probably get pulled over by the parenting police, but it’s not you who should go to her room and cry. It’s him. He needs to go into a time out if he can’t behave.

Agreed. But you can't say that around here It wasnt me

imorethanamother

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 7:23 pm

hodeez wrote:

Agreed. But you can't say that around here It wasnt me

It’s all fun and games until the schools get frustrated with these types of undisciplined kids and tell them to go on Ritalin.

amother

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 7:26 pm

imorethanamother wrote:

It’s all fun and games until the schools get frustrated with these types of undisciplined kids and tell them to go on Ritalin.

In school he’s great.
If I tell him he should go to his room he doesn’t listen. Should I drag him? And then hold the door shut as he bangs against it?

Laiya

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 7:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

In school he’s great.
If I tell him he should go to his room he doesn’t listen. Should I drag him? And then hold the door shut as he bangs against it?

If he's great in school then he's able to behave better at home, too. Maybe his teachers can offer some suggestions?

DreamerForever

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 7:39 pm

imorethanamother wrote:

I’ll probably get pulled over by the parenting police, but it’s not you who should go to her room and cry. It’s him. He needs to go into a time out if he can’t behave.

In an ideal world, yes. But if a mother is either going to yell from frustration, and possibly say things she will regret... It's way better to remove herself so her anger doesn't 'spill over'.
She needs to decompress so she can come out more able to handle her kid.

Last edited by DreamerForever on Mon, Oct 31 2022, 7:41 pm; edited 1 time in total

BrisketBoss

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 7:39 pm

Laiya wrote:

If he's great in school then he's able to behave better at home, too. Maybe his teachers can offer some suggestions?

If he were able to then he would do it...

Ever heard of after school restraint collapse? Could easily be a factor here.

Playful parenting might be very helpful in situations like these.

effess

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 7:42 pm

“If he’s great in school he should be able to behave better at home”

In theory and on paper it sounds reasonable.
In reality, Most kids I know from loving homes, give their parents a very hard time compared to their behavior for their teachers.

DreamerForever

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 7:44 pm

effess wrote:

Oh Yessss.

amother

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 7:44 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

If he were able to then he would do it...

Ever heard of after school restraint collapse? Could easily be a factor here.

Playful parenting might be very helpful in situations like these.

I have the playful parenting book and try and do use some of the ideas but it’s not easy for me as I’m a boring introvert who is the opposite of creative.