If your teen has to be up at 7am- when do they go to bed?

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 11:08 am

My 14 year old daughter is having a very hard time this year. She used to wake up at 8:15 (and complained how early it was and how tired she was..). This year she has to be up at 7am. It’s a real nightmare. Would help if the sun would be shining but these days it’s still dark outside. She’s so tired she can’t even talk or eat before she leaves. Going to sleep early just doesn’t happen no matter what. She comes home around 5:30- has loads of homework and tests. Sometimes her friends call and friends are very important .. she’s in a new school and having a hard time socially so I’m very happy when the phone rings and it’s for her. It’s just that the phone starts ringing after 9…and till she hangs up, finishes up her work, takes a shower… it’s usually close to 11. She sleeps in the same room as her sister so they talk a little before going to sleep.. I don’t think she’s ever asleep before 11:30- usually later.
Please tell me how much sleep your teen is getting.

mha3484

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 11:13 am

My 12 year old starts minyan in a week and is going to have to get up an hour earlier. He gets home most nights at 8:30 from learning and then reads, showers, talks to me. I am dreading it. I empathize with you and wish I had an answer.

BrisketBoss

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 11:17 am

To me it sounds like she gets a lot of sleep for a teen lol. 7, and previously 8:15? I always woke up at 6:15! I think my bedtime was officially 10:30 but sometimes I went to bed later.

Teens' bodies naturally want to sleep in. It's too bad that they can't.

amother

Snowflake

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 11:20 am

10:30 is ideal but realistically she isn't sleeping until 11:30. What ends up happening is that some days she's so tired that she ends up going to bed a 9 to catch up (maybe once a week).

amother

Brown

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 11:21 am

My minyan bus Boys go to bed between 1030 and 1130. Buses come between 645 and 715. My uppee high schoolers can handle it, but my 12 year old will miss the bus and really should be in bed by 10.

My high school girls have their bus at 8 and are up so late that I don't know when they sleep. When they miss the bus I start to come down on them about earlier nights. I find 9th grade is the hardest but then their bodies adjust. My girls also sleep late on shobbos/sun.

Amarante

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 11:25 am

It is just a reality that teens don't get optimum sleep because their circadian rhythms are not geared to *normal* high school getting up early. They are wired to stay up later and sleep later but they are forced to get up early for high school.

That is why so many teens wind up sleeping incredibly late on the weekend because they are making it up when they can.

There have been a few high schools that have attempted to do later start times but it is obviously difficult to do that so for the most part high schools start early.

amother

Iris

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 11:31 am

DS14 gets up at 6 am and his bedtime is officially 9:30 but most nights he doesn't get to bed till 10:30. He does fall asleep right away. DS12 gets up at 6:45 and his bedtime is officially 8:45 but he goes to bed at 9:15. He does not fall asleep right away; he usually reads, listens to his mp3, shmoozes with his older brother when he comes into the room.

DS14 sleeps on Shabbos a lot. DS12 seems to need less sleep because he never "catches" up.

keym

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 11:35 am

I have 3 teens who need to be at the bus between 6:45 and 7:20. They wake up between 6:30 and 7.
Ideally, I'd like them to start showering and getting ready for bed by 10:45, realistically it's later. But they're starting the bed process.

They do squeeze naps in everywhere: Erev Shabbos, Friday night, Shabbos. My teen DD sleeps late Shabbos and Sunday.

amother

Anemone

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 11:38 am

amother OP wrote:

I have one who gets up 6:30/6:45, and one who gets up 6:45/7:00. All I know is they both generally go to sleep after me. I go into bed around 9:00/9:30.

Highstrung

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 11:43 am

My 12 and 16 yr old boys are out the door by 6:45 and they don’t get to bed until about 10/10:30. I never have a problem getting them up. They actually wake up on their own.
I find that it’s really a case by case basis. I as a teen needed lots of sleep. I went to bed by 8:30 throughout highschool. School finished at 4:45. I got home around 5:15 , ate dinner, did my studying, showered and conked out. I woke up at 7 every day. My friends always teased me that you couldn’t call me after 8:30 but I was very disciplined about my sleep. I needed it. I still go to sleep early considering, and I wake up early and refreshed too.

amother

Lightgray

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 12:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

That's very little sleep.

Girls can catch up with sleep by sleeping in on days they have off like Shabbos, Sunday, Friday.

Also, maybe she can decide on one specific day of the week when she'll go to sleep very early like 8:30 so she'll get some extra sleep.

I know some high school girls take a nap right after doing homework till like 9:00pm that way they get some extra sleep.

Chayalle

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 12:08 pm

My 14 year old is going to bed by 10:30 or so. But we are an earlier family, in general. And even so, she's tired.

The teen sleep schedule is not really ideal. I remember more than one high school teacher complaining that the class was asleep. Well yeah.

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 12:11 pm

OP, in my world that's a pretty typical schedule for a high school girl (in fact, she's getting home earlier than many girls who have to commute, and getting up later than those whose bus pickup time is just after 7.)

Realistically, her bedtime is about right. And I imagine during November testing and midterms and maybe play, she'll end up going to bed at 1. It's just what the girls do. If she's getting a decent amount of her homework done before the phone starts ringing, she's in good shape. And yes, she'll sleep a whole lot later on weekends.

behappy2

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 12:55 pm

According to the cdc teens should be getting 8-10 and preteens 9-12. My 12 1/2 year old goes to bed around 9:30-10:00 and I allow him to wake up when his body gets up, latest 8:15. I don't know how kids handle the crazy schedules set for them. It isn't realistic for a lot of kids in my opinion. Definitely not for mine.

amother

NeonPink

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 1:36 pm

DD 15- goes to sleep between 11 pm- 1 am, gets up at 6:45, often takes a nap after school

amother

Lightcoral

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 1:48 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

I agree!
It may take a little time to get used to getting up at 7, but thats when my teens / house wakes up. DD12 goes to sleep 10:30/11 & wakes up at 7, DD14 goes to sleep around 11:30/12 & wakes up at 7:30. They both need to be on bus at 8:15.

amother

Bluebell

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 1:51 pm

I needed a lot of sleep as a teen and would go to bed at 9.30.
I think some teens can cope with little sleep but many can't. For those that can't it will affect their health and grades. Good sleep is essential and under valued in our society.
I also think 5.30-10 is plenty of time to do everything she has to do in the afternoon. Being disciplined to get to bed on time is an important skill in time management

amother

Jasmine

Tue, Nov 01 2022, 2:16 pm

My Ds12 is meant to turn off light at 9.20 or so but usually closer to 9.45, he's up at 7. needs less sleep though

dd14 needs lots of sleep. lights out by 10 and up at 7. sleeps Shabbos over 14 hours and Sunday a good 12 to catch up

dd18 comes home from school wiped and sleeps an hr. then is up till about 12. wakes different times different days but bw 7.30 and 9...she needs a lot of sleep

ds19 manages and needs less sleep. is up at 7 30 and goes to sleep about 11.30

I think they learn to cope. and take naps. Def as others said harder for boys who can't sleep in Shabbos. maybe hashkama minyan and then a sleep shabb morn

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