Program ideas for a Kiruv High Sch to help students keep שבת

amother

Thu, Nov 03 2022, 11:37 pm

Hi all, I teach in a Kiruv High Schools and I would appreciate getting some good ideas.

Our girls are bh very cooperative when it comes to school programs- like chessed/GO/Plays...., and I would love to come up with a good program to inspire our girls to keep Shabbas.

They really want to keep Shabbas, but most of them don’t come from Frum homes and find it really hard to observe.

I would love to do an incentive kind of thing, plus tips/inspiration to make it doable for them, but most importantly, to inspire them about the beauty and importance of Shabbas so that they will want to keep it out of their own will.

I'm looking forward to some good and creative ideas from our fellow Ima’s Very Happy

Rappel

Thu, Nov 03 2022, 11:59 pm

1. Respect the fact that the girls come from loving families, and that they cannot and should not go against their parents at their age. No hard rules at home, lots of encouragement to connect the girls with their parents.

2. Organize a Shabbaton for them to demonstrate the comraderie and love of Shabbat.

3. Connect the girls, by neighborhood, to a friendly Beit Knesset / Bnos in their area, so they can spend Shabbat in a religious context. The best option would be for the girls to go together so they have a social context to it too.

4. Send them home with Shabbat packages - two little candles, Friday challah bake, maybe mini bottles of grape juice, a Shabbat story or song. Then, if they want to do the Shabbat things with their family at home, they can.

amother

Lemonlime

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 12:35 am

Rappel all great suggestions
May I add to the last point
Send home a transliterated form of Shabbat kiddush and zemirot with directions so that the family can join in with all the beauty

I heard The Zone take the girls for manicures in honor of Shabbat
Perhaps you can have a weekly raffle

amother

Navyblue

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 1:18 am

I think shabbatons are the best. Most girls won't keep Shabbos on their own in hs, but if you show them how, many will when they go out on their own. I knew how to keep Shabbos (basically) from NCSY as a middle schooler. I knew we were supposed to, but I also knew my family didn't. When I went to college, I started doing it on my own, and here I am today Smile

Inspire them, show them the way, and one day, b'ezras Hashem, they'll get there.

amother

DarkViolet

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 1:20 am

Have them decorate little boxes (aptly called Shabboxes) and have a reward system for how many hours they can leave their phone in the box each Shabbos.

Is it possible to have some type of small Shabbos group within walking distance? It’ll be very very hard to convince a teenager to do something alone that will also be isolating for them

amother

Mistyrose

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 1:21 am

Maybe look into the Shabbos Project from South Africa, they have done amazing things.

To life

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 1:51 am

Make a challah bake

amother

Hosta

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 3:00 am

In addition to the shabbos kit, maybe you could lend books or board games they could bring home for a shabbat-friendly activity with their families. Also even if they can't keep shabbat maybe they could have something special that they wear in honor of shabbat like a piece of jewelry.

ellacoe

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 8:07 am

Great ideas.

It is possible that different girls have different challenges. Perhaps have small group conversations with them and let them share their worries, challenges etc. and then trouble shoot together.

I do not know the "lay of the land", are they in walking distance to one another? Perhaps set up something on Shabat afternoon. Or could they be paired with local frum families, that would host two girls (if they don't want to go alone) for a meal on Shabat, and become their mentors.

PinkFridge

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 8:32 am

How are we defining keeping Shabbos? I know of a kiruv camp that has about a half dozen guidelines (e.g. no technology, electricity) that is nowhere near full observance.

While I'm sure you're going to continue getting great input here, do talk IRL to the pros. Rabbi Wallerstein zt"l isn't here anymore but lo alman Yisrael: there are people who will give you great ideas.
Meanwhile tizku l'mitzvos and may you continue your avoda in bring neshamos back and making the shem Shamayim misaheiv al yadayich.

amother

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 12:10 pm

Amen!

Thank you so much for all the fanatic ideas shared!

Can we get some more?

If you are a BT, can you share some tips/experience/thought processes/ speakers that helped you start keeping Shabbas?

Besides for making a shabbton, I know it's the best and we do it occasionally, we still need more hands on projects to help them for when they are home.

amother

Cognac

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 1:24 pm

Maybe have a glassworks project where you make your own candlesticks? Then the girls can light them at home and the partners can shep over their daughter’s beautiful creation. Also maybe give recipe for challah and the extra dough can be used for rugelach
Give easy, manageable suggestions for ways they can start keeping shabbos- like no turning on TV, or putting phone away for a few hours, or not going in a car. Maybe can wear a skirt on Shabbos.

bruriyah

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 1:46 pm

Please be careful.

Pushing kids to keep shabboss when their parents do not often creates tremendous stress and friction between them. These kids deserve to have a healthy relationship with their parents. That may need to be prioritized over keeping shabboss at this point in their life.

PinkFridge

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 1:58 pm

bruriyah wrote:

This.
There should be some rabbinic input.

amother

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 2:22 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

This.
There should be some rabbinic input.

Of course

amother

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 2:23 pm

bruriyah wrote:

100%

Chickensoupprof

Sat, Nov 05 2022, 2:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm easily overwhelmed and everything so shabbatots are hell for me really. I would have loved to be invited by warm families where there is an open atmosphere. For instance... if you like zmiros but never heard of kol isha don't be like 'it is not tznius for women to sing' let it happen a few times and when u have the touch of the person talk about those matters way later on... Don't do halacha as in 'you can't do this you shouldn't do that, you should do it this way' that gives lots of stress. I really believe in first showing hashkafa and the beauty of Shabbos and then do the halacha.

For me, I was shomer shabbos once in my parents house. I did shabbos and it was I remember shabbos Lech Lecha because it was the day that my grandpa died and so I was at my parents house. The sluchim made me food and I was sitting at my parents house... reading on the couch, while my family watched the TV, I lit candles made kiddush for me and my mom etc... Didn't know what I did more was kind of a blur. But it was really hard. Because my father is not Jewish so why should he keep it? My brother is but he won't do it. My mom was way too busy with errands it was a weird shabbos. If a kid doesn't have shabbos support it is really hard to be fully shomer shabbos. In the beginning my parents wanted me to blow out the candles becuase of danger my father is very makpid on not burning candles overnight without supervision. So what I did that shabbos was going to bed before everyone else... Same wtih other things I remember... I think I might have torn toilet paper (it's a blur) and hidden it because I can't explain without causing brouhaha/commotion that I can't tear TP.
Yet my parents never have seen the beauty of shabbos nor has my brother and I doubt if they will ever do it. Yet I think the hashkafa approach is better then the halacha approach. I really liked to sit and talk about torah, parsha, chassidus, enjoying nice davening, or being just comfortable with a banklet on the couch, going for hikes etc.

PinkFridge

Sat, Nov 05 2022, 7:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

Of course

Sorry OP. Didn't mean to insult your intelligence.