Feel like my babies getting nothing

amother

Sun, Nov 06 2022, 9:24 pm

I love my baby and try to take good care of her. Lately I feel like all her needs are getting last priority. I work at a school and have been burnt out for years. Over the summer I was having a great time taking care of my little one but now… I send her to a good daycare but I never get out in time to do pick up or drop off. I wanted my baby to learn to use a cup but she won’t pick anything up in her hands even bottles with handles. Shes one for the record and I wanted her using a cup by now. She won’t feed herself at daycare either even though I’ve seen her use a pinched grip on food she’s good at it. They want her to maybe see an OT but they’ve only talked to my husband and he didn’t take them seriously I only know this through hearsay) I’m worried she won’t walk because my house is so messy and disorganized there’s nothing she can pull up on. I have no time to clean because my job is brutal. I don’t want to get into discussion of why I can’t clean house right now. Also I’m pregnant again. DH won’t let me quit job unless I have another one all lined up to go. He wants me to teach at public school and even though I have a masters I’m not actually qualified for that and I don’t want to spend time getting qualified because as I said, I’m pregnant and don’t want to start another job just to take maternity leave. I hate feeling like my little one is suffering I don’t know what to do. There is an option that she could join my school in the winter when she’s old enough. I’ll still be working the same but I’d be around her much more for oversight. I don’t know o feel like I really want to stay home with my baby but DH will never allow it. We need the money . not in a desperate way, but int be way thatvall frum families need money for their kids. I don’t know what to do. I don’t reallly think starting a in home playgroup is ideal for my family situation which is what a lot of moms have suggested

amother

DarkPurple

Sun, Nov 06 2022, 9:42 pm

This doesn’t address the majority of your post but you definitely should get her evaluated by infants and toddlers if you are in the US. It’s free help on getting her able to do the things she isn’t doing yet.

As far as everything else that really is so hard.

Btw I lived in a small cramped very messy apartment and my son still leaned how to walk 🙂

What are your working hours? How much time do you actually have with your baby? How many months old? You said one but there is a big difference between a just turned one year old and a one and a half year old.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Nov 06 2022, 9:51 pm

What does your pediatrician say? Is your dd hitting the milestones within normal ranges? It's not about what "you would like your dd to be doing," it's about whether your dd is developing normally. If she is, leave it alone. If not, take her to be evaluated for early intervention. If you have to take a day off from work to do so, do it! Don't rely on your dh who doesn't seem to care. They'll let you know if there's a problem. Maybe your dd needs OT, maybe she doesn't, but you'll never know unless you take her to be evaluated.

You say that your dd is in a good day care, and they are suggesting that she may need extra help, so why do you feel that she's suffering under their care? Even if your dd does have developmental delays, it may have nothing to do with the day care setup. Children can have developmental difficulties even if they're home fulltime with a mother who's got a PhD in early-childhood development and runs a mommy and me group.

As far as your dd not walking, babies don't know from messy houses or not messy houses. They have a natural urge to see the world and will pull themselves up on anything they can get their hands on. How can there be nothing to pull up on? Don't you have at least one table? A couch? a dresser? A crib? Even if you have no furniture at all aside from hammocks slung from the ceiling, your baby will eventually pull herself up by pressing her hands against the wall or grabbing the edge of a door. While we're on the subject, please check your furniture, especially bookcases, and make sure they're stable and not top-heavy. bookcases should ideally be bolted to the wall, because believe it or not it doesn't take much for a small child to pull one over. This is even more likely if the kid pulls out all the books from the bottom shelves, which they all do once they can reach them.

Talk to your husband to brainstorm ways he can bring in more income. You're the person carrying and nursing the children; it shouldn't be up to you to fill in the income gap if gap there is.