Does everyone have a set amount of happiness and suffering

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amother

Tue, Nov 08 2022, 7:20 am

Do you think we all have an amount of stress, suffering, challenges and alternatively happy things that we are supposed to endure in our life.
I'm asking because of a segula thread and I'm wondering if I daven/get the financial success I ask for an I risking the other blessings in my life...good kids, health, happy marriage.

amother

Chicory

Tue, Nov 08 2022, 7:31 am

We're not Hashem's accountants, so how can we know? But what would be the point of davening, or trying to improve our lives, if everything is predetermined? Why not just stay in bed with the covers over your head?

Not_in_my_town

Tue, Nov 08 2022, 8:31 am

We have certain things that are bashert for us to go through, both painful and non-painful experiences.

But the amount of suffering we experience during them depends a lot on how much we work on ourselves.

A person can be in a literal or figurative prison and still be happy if has attained a great level of bitachon and truly relies on Hashem. (For most people that's not always realistic, but is attainable with tremendous work.)

Furthermore, if a person puts in an effort to "tracht gut" and trust in Hashem, he can often transform painful experiences into revealed good. Simcha poretz geder.

The best segulah is working on your relationship with Hashem, aligning your will with His Supernal will, increasing bitachon and being b'simcha.

Not_in_my_town

Tue, Nov 08 2022, 9:37 am

amother Chicory wrote:

Davening isn't about asking for things for ourselves. It's about having a relationship with Hashem. It's about saying "hello, you're my G-d."

Yes, we can ask for things when we daven, just the same as we would ask our husbands to do things for us simply because our husband is OUR husband; we wouldn't ask the neighbor's husband to take out the garbage... Same here. We can Hashem for thing because He is our G-d, but that's not why we talk to Him. We talk to Him because we're in a relationship.

The point is that we don't daven to get what we want; we daven to be connected.

amother

Chicory

Tue, Nov 08 2022, 9:44 am

Not_in_my_town wrote:

Sometimes davening is connecting, sometimes it's praising, and sometimes it's asking.

Also - even if you don't think that davening is asking for change, if everything is predetermined, why get out of bed in the morning? No need to go to work, Hashem will make the money appear.

We have to ask, and we have to do for ourselves. We have to live as though our actions make a difference.

Not_in_my_town

Tue, Nov 08 2022, 9:53 am

amother Chicory wrote:

Davening is always connecting, whether is involves asking or praise. The connection is the ikkar, the reason why we do it. It allows us to ask and to praise.

And everything IS predetermined... except moral decisions.

We don't really have a say in where we live, who we marry, etc. All those puzzle pieces just fall into place at the right time and we think we have some sense of control. Our only control is when it comes to deciding to do something evil or G-dly.

We get out of bed not because we have to work to get our needs. We get out bed because we are NEEDED. Because other people need us and because Hashem needs us. He needs us to make this world more holy, better.

We are here on a mission. That is the reason we get out of bed in the morning.

And yes, the last sentence I agree with. Have to live as though our actions make a difference... Because they do.

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