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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note
Keeping kids at the Shabbos table



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2022, 10:17 am
Looking for real ideas to keep the family together and present throughout (at least most of) the seuda at the Shabbos table-- from young ones to older teens. I know there's been tons written on this, but I'd really like to hear real ideas that worked from real people...
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amother
Mayflower


 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2022, 10:42 am
we have the same issue (as do most, I assume)
the one winning solution.....

playing Twisted Kichels at the table!
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AlwaysGrateful




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2022, 10:43 am
Achas shaalti is a great English language book that we use at the Shabbos table. It has a scenario and a halachic question connected to it. Good for first grade up through teens, in our experience. Table Talk (a free weekly thing distributed at our shul) has one of these scenarios each week too.

If you can get your kids into singing some of their favorite songs at the Shabbos table, not necessarily zemiros, that can get some kids into it. Even if they're English songs, or not your typical Shabbos table songs, as long as they're Jewish obviously Smile

The kids' favorite food, and move along relatively quickly so the seuda is not too long for short attention spans.

Honestly, though? I think that having a couch close enough to the Shabbos table that kids can leave the table while still being a part of the seuda is nice, at least for older kids. And maybe an area near the table with a box of toys that the younger kids can enjoy, but still be there. And be okay with them "leaving the table" but try to draw them into the conversation, even while they're there, if they'll go for it.
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amother
Tulip


 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2022, 10:53 am
Keep the Seuda short! If you read about our Gedolim many of them had short Shabbos Seudos. They washed ate, sang a couple of Zemiros, bentcht and then would learn. If you have friends over and want to socialize don't torture your kids and make them sit there the whole time. It's great if you could ask an interesting question and get kids involved. If your kids have Parsha questions ask them in the afternoon and not during the meal.
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amother
Glitter


 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2022, 10:53 am
We have the kids take turns reading the parshas and usually ask questions where they get a treat if they answer correctly. My kids sometimes leave if they are tired but I'm general stay. If I have company with kids they disappear to play sometimes.
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amother
Lotus


 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2022, 11:11 am
OP how long are your meals?
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2022, 11:35 am
My solution is having guests. Everyone is better behaved and more engaged when we have guests.
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s1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2022, 11:38 am
Aish.com have some great Torah teasers on the parsha each week, they keep my kids entertained from age 8 and up.
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amother
Hawthorn


 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2022, 1:43 pm
Why do kids need to stay at table?
Main thing is they observe and absorb the atmosphere.
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amother
Honeysuckle


 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2022, 1:43 pm
I guess our meals don't last that long because it doesn't seem to be a problem. That said, the spread of ages isn't that big, so it's not as if we have kids old enough to vote at the table with kids in potty training. If we did, I would let the youngsters leave the table to play in the same room while the adults or soon-to-be adults remain at table. It's unrealistic, unfair and impractical IMHO to expect little people to stay in one place as long as adults.
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Sewsew_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2022, 1:49 pm
We too struggled with this. My husband comes to the table now prepared with 2 stories and makes them very funny.. Kids participate and eat during that period. Than he sings and they can join or leave at that point.
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amother
Dahlia


 

Post Tue, Nov 08 2022, 1:51 pm
DH likes to sing for a long time. We don't expect any of our kids to sit at the table throughout the meal. But we do expect them to sit at the table till after 1st course but we prepare an interesting story every week to keep them at the table.
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