Hosting as a divorced/single mother

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Forum -> Relationships -> Guests

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amother

Sun, Nov 13 2022, 1:28 pm

Other than family, which guests can I invite?

amother

Clover

Sun, Nov 13 2022, 1:37 pm

I carry on with business as usual. I host friends, my adult kids friends, and family.

amother

Sun, Nov 13 2022, 1:52 pm

amother Clover wrote:

I carry on with business as usual. I host friends, my adult kids friends, and family.

Do you host couples and families?
I assume that could be uncomfortable.

amother

Oldlace

Sun, Nov 13 2022, 1:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

Do you host couples and families?
I assume that could be uncomfortable.

I’ve found it to be uncomfortable if it’s not people you’re super comfortable with.
If your kids are young there’s the issue of who makes kiddush? Are you comfortable asking the male guest? Lots of issues.

amother

IndianRed

Sun, Nov 13 2022, 2:11 pm

Invite anyone you want except men unaccompanied by wives, if your child/ren are younger than two and a half or three years old. Yichud, you know.

Kol hakavod to you for wanting to host and not assuming that people should host you because you're single.

amother

Bluebell

Sun, Nov 13 2022, 2:15 pm

We were totally fine being hosted by my friends who are divorced. Our kids are friends, and we get along well. we also have no problem ourselves hosting my friends who are by themselves. Just as long as you are comfortable with your friends and situation, it can be very nice to have pple over by you.

amother

Blue

Sun, Nov 13 2022, 2:53 pm

Assuming you are referring to a meal, and not sleep over, I would have 2 families, not 1 so the husbands can talk to each other. Invite people who you like, who have kids the same age as yours, are in a similar field, or anything that can be a topic of conversation.
I imagine you do get invited out at times, have those people back.

seeker

Sun, Nov 13 2022, 2:58 pm

Invite whoever you can fit.
If you're worried about a friend's husband being uncomfortable as the only man in the room, you could try inviting two couples to the same meal. But also keep in mind that if they're uncomfortable then they will simply decline your invitation and you'll move on. I definitely had more luck with my single friends but space was also an issue for me and most of my married friends had more kids than I could fit.

amother

Mimosa

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 1:00 am

Child of divorce here. We hosted everyone. Neighbors, friends, etc.
It made us feel great. And my mom was happy to reciprocate to the families who hosted us.

amother

Hydrangea

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 1:37 am

We've been to meals at divorced friends. It's really easy, hostess asked my DH to make kiddush, was all fine!

amother

Banana

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 8:59 am

I invite families, but they're my very good friends. Other single parents or singles.

amother

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 1:07 pm

Thanks for your replies.
I like the idea of hosting more than one couple/family
but I don't have many close friends Sad

amother

Chicory

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 1:09 pm

I am regularly hosted by a divorced woman, who sometimes has her kids and sometimes not.

She loves hosting and makes great food.

She calls upon the man in one of the families to make kiddush and hamotzei. Like how you elect someone to bensch. Not a big deal.

amother

Bronze

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 1:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for your replies.
I like the idea of hosting more than one couple/family
but I don't have many close friends Sad

Then think of this as an opportunity to make new friends. Invite that neighbor who seems nice but you don't really know very well, or some mother of one of your children you've met who seems outgoing. Most people love and are grateful for getting an invitation.

And I want to commend you for taking this on. There is really no reason not to. I am close to someone who is divorced and has this attitude that she cannot ever host because she's divorced. So many people invite her and she never reciprocates and she constantly says she isn't expected to and it's just too hard, too awkward, etc. While I don't want to downplay the struggles and challenges of being a single mom, which I have no experience with, I just never understand her attitude. So kudos and hope you make many new wonderful friends and have lots of positive experiences doing this.

metacognizant

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 2:38 pm

amother Mimosa wrote:

Child of divorce here. We hosted everyone. Neighbors, friends, etc.
It made us feel great. And my mom was happy to reciprocate to the families who hosted us.

Ditto. My mom is an amaaaaaaaaaazing cook. Everyone was always happy to get her invitation. Her inviting guests impressed a value of hachnasas orchim on me and also a high standard (maybe too high) for the “right” way to do shabbos and holidays. However when my parents got divorced I was 12 so there was never any yichud issue.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Dec 01 2022, 2:12 am

Tbh I do find it a challenge because I don't want to just host other single families. There aren't many in tact families that would be comfortable here since my big boys aren't around anymore.

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