Big boys still wear diapers at night?

amother

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 11:48 am

I'm so embarrassed, but I don't know what to do...

My kids had a hard time training during the day. They only stopped wearing diapers at about 4.5 years old each.

Now they are 6.5 and 5 and still wear diapers at night.

Last year around Pesach time, the younger boy was staying dry at night. It looked promising. Then we went away for pesach to a different time zone, and he went back to diapers, and that's it. He has never stayed dry since. He would like to stay dry, but it's just not happening for him like it did last year March.

My older son has zero interest in staying dry at night. He can't force himself to pee before bed (he has tried), and he always wakes up wet. I told him that a certain boy in his class doesn't wear diapers at night, and he said, "Really? How do you know?" He was amazed that there are people his age who don't wear diapers...

Right now they are both in diapers and I just don't know what to do with them.

My pediatrician isn't overly concerned, but I am.

Is there anything I can do to help them?

amother

Antiquewhite

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 11:55 am

Hi! My kids have a hard time stopping diapers at night. My first stopped at 6, my second at 7, I still have a 6 and a 4 years old in diapers at night. I wasn’t worried but my husband was, bh I felt that when they would be uncomfortable about it they would stop by themselves. Don’t speak too much about it. I thought that by not making a big deal that helped them.

amother

Steel

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 12:05 pm

My 6.5 year old son has many many accidents at night. He has had so many recently I just bought him Good Nites to wear at night. From what I understand it is still developmentally normal at this age.

amother

Sapphire

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 12:09 pm

I don't have any advice, but when you wrote "big boys" I was expecting much older boys. I know of children a lot older who still bedwet or outgrew it much older (some of my own & most of DH's family members). I would just ignore unless it bothers the kid, or he wets so much that his linen needs to be changed daily, but I'm sure lots of mothers would disagree.

amother

Copper

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 12:11 pm

I had a couple of kids that were in diapers until 6/7 at night. My pediatrician wasn't concerned and he said when their body is ready they will just wake up dry and then you'll know.

It wasn't working for me to just wait it out so I decided to night train them with a bedwetting alarm. One of them took a couple of weeks and the other started waking up dry the first day I took off the diaper. I think she was just using it as a crutch.

amother

Tomato

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 12:11 pm

Especially boys, it is very normal for them not to be able to stay dry during the night.
There are people who see success with the method of them wearing an alarm to wake them up when they get wet.
But for some kids there's literally nothing you could do except wait it out.
My own son was not having an accident every single night and if he was careful not to drink a lot 2 hours before his bedtime he would usually stay dry so the few times he would have an accident we would strip his sheets and wash them. It wasn't until he was almost 10 years old that he completely grew out of the occasional bed wetting.
I spoke to the pediatrician about it multiple times and he said to just wait it out, it can take until they're 9 or 10.

amother

Phlox

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 12:41 pm

I’d take away the diapers, that’s the first step.

It makes them more comfortable and familiar to just wet their bed in a diaper.

It’s harder on us, but ultimately it’s worth it.

After no diapers at night, most of my kids self trained (some took longer and others shorter).

The earlier the diapers go, the easier it is for them to learn. My older boys I probably stopped diapers around 5 or 6 like you, and my younger ones I did at a younger age and saw better results.

Most recently, I toilet trained my 3 year old and at the same time kept his diaper off at night. I’ve never done day & night together, but bh he wakes up dry every morning!

Now I only have an older boy (10) and a girl (7) that still wet their beds, and it’s hard to change their linen so often but I know they’ll outgrow it. I buy good plastic sheet protectors and keep washing.

Hatzlacha!

amother

Feverfew

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 1:09 pm

I'm not one to talk because bh I trained day and night at the same time and never had issues but I had a couple brothers who went their beds till about 10-11. My parents use to take them to the bathroom before they went to sleep and sometimes that worked.

amother

Aster

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 1:12 pm

I once had an 11 year old boy sleep at my house for a few days. His mom told me he wears pull ups at night and takes care of himself. I think they were dry in the morning but I had never heard of a boy that old at the time.

mommy3b2c

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 2:00 pm

I’m sorry op but you need to stop being embarrassed by something so dumb . You are hurting your children . They feel your shame and it’s for no reason. They will stop when they stop. Up until 12 is normal . Especially for boys.

amother

Oleander

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 2:14 pm

My 9 year old daughter still wears pull-ups at night Sad

She is mortified about it but I haven’t found anything we can do to help her.

Most of my kids were still bed wetting at 5. They all outgrew it at their own time.

rakcna

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 2:16 pm

As a developmental pediatric specialist I can tell you with confidence that unless you have specific other concerns I would not be concerned until at least ten years old for a boy.

amother

Oleander

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 2:20 pm

rakcna wrote:

As a developmental pediatric specialist I can tell you with confidence that unless you have specific other concerns I would not be concerned until at least ten years old for a boy.

Curious, what would you say about my 9.5 year old daughter?

I do have close family members who were quite late, by the way.

amother

Forsythia

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 2:28 pm

My 13 year old son was bedwetting until the summer. I was super frustrated as I wanted to send him to camp but... I spoke to the camp nurse who told me "there's a nasal spray, called desmopressin" which they spray before going to sleep (or take a pill), helps against bedwetting. It worked wonders bh!
You need to get a prescription from the pediatrician, it is so worth it.

Also, put under 2-3 chux to prevent the sheet and bed to get wet.

amother

Starflower

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 2:29 pm

Ds was finally able to stay dry at night when we treated him for parasites and strep for a month and worked with a myofunctional therapist and airway informed orthodontist on his mouth breathing. We also have to make sure his tonsils and adenoids don’t get big again and support his autonomic nervous system with magnesium and vit b1.

Just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s normal. So many of our kids have underdeveloped autonomic nervous systems for one reason or another. Mouth breathing is one of them, chronic infections another.

Shmaichel

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 2:35 pm

amother Starflower wrote:

If in Brooklyn, can you please share the name/ number of the airway informed orthodontist?

amother

Poppy

Mon, Nov 14 2022, 2:38 pm

Op, age 5-6 is totally normal, especially for boys. My 9 year old only recently started waking up dry. He's a very deep sleeper & can't be woken by alarm or by me to pee.
The key is to not even talk about it, just let it be & when the time comes they'll wake up dry. Making them feel like it's something wrong is the problem here.