S/o Why need a filter?

amother

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:05 am

I get that there are unsavory websites out there. But why is everyone under the assumption that without a filter they will become addicted to [filth]? Why do men especially feel they are so weak they can’t be trusted unless they have a filter? Why not just have parental controls to restrict certain levels of access and then just don’t access smut? Guess what. I don’t have a filter and I don’t have [filth] pop up on my devices. If a website pops up it’s because I wasn’t careful but then I figured it out and learned the signs of what not to do. so I don’t click on suspicious text messages or emails or pop ups or click bait. The taboo of having a smart phone without a filter seems to make the allure of [filth] stronger for those that are susceptible and for those that aren’t, it’s like a virtue signal of holiness. Just the whole level of censorship in some circles seems counterproductive on multiple levels.

amother

Mintgreen

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:08 am

Because the yetzer hora is strong and without a filter a person might do something stupid in a weak moment which they wouldn’t have done if the filter blocked it.
As simple as that. Al taamin beatzmecha was meant for even the holiest tzaddikim.

amother

Daylily

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:14 am

For me it's not about filth. It's about me not having enough self control and watching way to much. With the filter I blocked youtube, hulu, netflix. It wasn't such a holy decision as a practical one. It's easier for me to have it blocked then to have to control myself.

I also blocked instagram and facebook because I hate the idea of social media.

Another reason for my filter is my kids. Although I might not struggle in a certain area, I don't want my kids to have access to all garbage out there.

amother

Alyssum

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:16 am

We don't have a filter, we have a pop up blocker on our browsers that prevents pop ups and ads. I wouldn't want a filter that can possibly access my files installed on my phone.

Chickensoupprof

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:19 am

I understand your frustration because I have the same. I never had a filter and still don't have it now because well... for that reason. Maybe I will do parental control later for children. DH is an IT engineer and he is against some filters because often they block things which shouldn't be blocked out and it makes the computer really slow my issue is that it concerns my privacy for NO reason I want some bloke know what I want to google. But for children and teens, yeah... But I don't want to have a filter that blocks out newssites but only let me watch Fox sorry, that is pure censorship and really is not where I think freedom is about.

amother

Black

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:38 am

How about because gedolim said we should filter our devices, and as Yidden we listen to our gedolim. We don't need to "feel" that we need it.

amother

Tuberose

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:43 am

amother Daylily wrote:

I did exactly this for the exact same reason. I actually don’t have my own laptop filtered. I barely use it. It’s my phone that I am constantly busy with and the filter helps me because I barely have anything to do on my phone now and plugging in my laptop is more cumbersome and tedious so I end up watching and wasting time online much less.

amother

Tuberose

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:45 am

amother Black wrote:

How about because gedolim said we should filter our devices, and as Yidden we listen to our gedolim. We don't need to "feel" that we need it.

For me personally it bothers me and turns me off when the so called “gedolim” preach but don’t have a clue about what they are preaching. I would have done it sooner had the gedolim not made such a big deal about with their asifas.

amother

NeonBlue

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:46 am

My sole reason for having a filter is for my kids sake. I don't want unfiltered access in the house, even if our phones have passwords. It's not a risk I'm willing to take.

amother

Black

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:49 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

I'm sorry that bothers you. But that's not the way Yiddishkeit works.
Yidden listen to daas Torah.
You want to tell me your Rav told you you don't need any filter? Fine.
But speaking about gedolim the way you just did and deciding on your own that you don't want to listen is not ok.

PinkFridge

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:55 am

amother Black wrote:

How about because gedolim said we should filter our devices, and as Yidden we listen to our gedolim. We don't need to "feel" that we need it.

You're right. But this is reminding me of something Rav Hirsch says on parenting: It's important to say yes when possible so the nos will mean something.
A child will be mekabel nos, even without a reason, if there's a feeling of trust and knowing the parents are reasonable.
So it needs to be a gadol who inspires trust. But honestly, if the gadol just said this without having previously spoken about kedusha, about being in the trenches and speaking to people struggling as well as the professionals, and about dealing with halachic fallout...I wouldn't take him so seriously. But I know gedolim who really know the score.

PinkFridge

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:57 am

amother Black wrote:

Someone in an interview asked Rav Moshe zt"l how he got to be recognized so widely. Were there elections? What was the process? Rav Moshe explained, someone called him to answer a shaila. Then someone else, and someone else, and people liked how he answered and interacted, and then more and more people knew he was the address.

There has to be something there for people to be mekabel.

amother

Black

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 9:59 am

PinkFridge wrote:

So it needs to be a gadol who inspires trust. But honestly, if the gadol just said this without having previously spoken about kedusha, about being in the trenches and speaking to people struggling as well as the professionals, and about dealing with halachic fallout...I wouldn't take him so seriously. But I know gedolim who really know the score.

We don't make cheshbonos about where the gedolim are coming from, what their "experience" is.
Again, if you have a Rav that said it's ok, kol hakavod.
But until you get that psak to go unfiltered, when we have gedolim who are saying filtering is a must, then we don't have the right to just say, Oh, what does he know.

amother

Black

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 10:02 am

PinkFridge wrote:

For sure. Are we saying someone we never heard of who calls himself a Rav said this?
No. We're talking about gedolim. Widely recognized people.
People that we know there's "something there".
We can't just decide they don't know what's going on about this issue.

PinkFridge

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 10:05 am

amother Black wrote:

Because I know - know, not heard from the grapevine - that someone inspires trust, I will be mekabel and take them very seriously going forward.

I should clarify something. If a critical mass says something as one, I will take what the established einei ha'eida say to heart. No question.

amother

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 10:13 am

The yatzer hara is us. We are the yatzer hara. It’s not some magical external force. Aren’t we supposed to be mastering our own weaknesses? Isn’t that what life is all about? How can we do that if there are artificial outside influences that prevent that? If a person moves my arm with a weight in it, I’m not building muscle but the other person has the power. And would you not have put a filter on if the gedolim didn’t tell you to do it?

Chickensoupprof

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 10:18 am

My problem with actively listening and doing what 'gedolim' want or being totally preoccupied with gedolim is that it almost seems to me like catholicism. The beauty of Yiddishkeit I thought that we all have a connection with Hashem and not that there is someone who is playing the G'ds deputy, sometimes I feel that some people treat a gadol as a deputy of G'd I see a gadol mostly as someone who mastered halacha really well and has excellent middos, yet I can go to any gadol and ask for eitza but he doesn't know my background,my difficulties my community (which doesn't exist). And he would prob answer me as he would answer a wife of a BMG kollel avreich who lived already a frum life before conception...Then yeah I got an eitza of an gadol, or a certain and then I'm acting to it and then it doesn't work, and then what?

amother

Black

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 10:18 am

amother OP wrote:

We are not getting rid of the Yetzer Hara by putting a filter. I'm sure there's still Y"H left in us!
But the Torah does tell us to make gedarim, safeguards, to protect ourselves from the Y"H.

About your last question, I don't know. It's engrained in me that it's not ok, Yiddishkeit is about listening to daas Torah, so this is what I do.

amother

Tuberose

Fri, Nov 18 2022, 10:18 am

amother Black wrote:

I honestly don’t even know who you are referring to as the Gedolei Hador. To me the Gedolei Hador all passed away and I miss them dearly because it’s hard to trust and believe the loud fire and brimstone speeches from people I don’t know or never even heard of.
Also Daas Torah for each person is someone else . We don’t all have to follow the same Rabbanim. Not all Rabbanim came out and announced that one MUST get filters. They may have suggested it , but there’s a difference between suggesting and demanding. Usually suggesting and showing a true care and compassion for the klal would be more accepted by people than blindly following someone who’s demanding.