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mha3484
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 Tue, Nov 22 2022, 3:12 pm
My school age kids are boys (my girls are toddlers) but I read the girls school newsletter most weeks too and it seems that they have a much more well rounded experience. They do a lot of projects, have a production, lots of extra programs. Does your daughter have talents you can develop? Does she like art, music, sports? I think you have to help her develop self esteem in the areas that she is good at.
I have a very artistic son in pre1a and I feel like after this year there are no more projects etc and I wish the yeshiva he goes to could take some ideas from the BY that its affiliated with.
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effess
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Tue, Nov 22 2022, 3:13 pm
You’d be surprised how many loving teachers can give your daughter so much and your daughter can love school.
Most teachers are willing to work with you to accommodate the child. It requires being in touch with the teachers proactively. But this can make a huge difference to her feeling successful.
Some teachers are better suited for flexible needs, perhaps you can request those teachers.
It’s a good idea for your daughter to eventually explore her other talents, be it music, drama, art, dance or what not.
If I look back at the successful girls in school, is say it was mostly connected with social emotional and not so much academic.
Hashem should send you much nachas from you daughter!
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naturalmom5
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Tue, Nov 22 2022, 3:17 pm
Bh she is not a boy. If she is pretty and domestic , she can have a rosy future with tge right husbannd
A boy who isnt so bright, either makes insane amounts of $ in construction or sales, plays the game in yeshiva, or goes OTD
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amother
Obsidian
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Tue, Nov 22 2022, 3:38 pm
If she is in a more yeshivish tri-state area school, then school will probably be rough for her. That's the brutal truth. It's very heavily focused on academics, memorization, tests and quizzes, and being able to sit and listen to lecture style teaching all day. Here and there she will hopefully have a nice teacher, who will be warm and caring and give her attention despite her academic weaknesses. But unfortunately many teachers are only pulled towards the best and the brightest.
The more modern schools and OOT schools are better at addressing the whole child, and building up children by recognizing and utilizing their inner strengths. I don't know why it is that way, maybe because the teachers are better trained, or the schools have more funding from higher tuition.
I would suggest to do all you can as a parent to build her up. Infuse her with confidence and pride in who she is. Constantly point out her strengths. Remind her that school is just 12 years, and is only focused on academic skills. Just because she down not possess academic strengths does not mean she can't be wildly successful in other areas. Continue sending her to sunday clubs and build up talents in other areas. If she is into the "in" stuff and dressing well, try to buy her what you can afford.
And like natural mom, said be grateful she is not a boy or it would be a million times worse 
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amother
Lavender
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Tue, Nov 22 2022, 3:39 pm
OP, play up her strengths. Reinforce them. Get her hobbies. Dance, art, sewing, cricut, cooking, creativity, photography, videography.
Also, you’d be surprised how many people who struggle with school at young ages end up later on. One of my friends hated school and barely ever came and now has more degrees than the rest of us.
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amother
Tomato
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Tue, Nov 22 2022, 3:44 pm
| amother Obsidian wrote: | If she is in a more yeshivish tri-state area school, then school will probably be rough for her. That's the brutal truth. It's very heavily focused on academics, memorization, tests and quizzes, and being able to sit and listen to lecture style teaching all day. Here and there she will hopefully have a nice teacher, who will be warm and caring and give her attention despite her academic weaknesses. But unfortunately many teachers are only pulled towards the best and the brightest.
The more modern schools and OOT schools are better at addressing the whole child, and building up children by recognizing and utilizing their inner strengths. I don't know why it is that way, maybe because the teachers are better trained, or the schools have more funding from higher tuition.
I would suggest to do all you can as a parent to build her up. Infuse her with confidence and pride in who she is. Constantly point out her strengths. Remind her that school is just 12 years, and is only focused on academic skills. Just because she down not possess academic strengths does not mean she can't be wildly successful in other areas. Continue sending her to sunday clubs and build up talents in other areas. If she is into the "in" stuff and dressing well, try to buy her what you can afford.
And like natural mom, said be grateful she is not a boy or it would be a million times worse |
Stereotypes are never helpful. I switched from a rwmo school that had zero tolerance for not doing well academically and shamed the students to a super warm yeshivish leaning school that cares about each and every individual student and academics are not the main focus. All in the tristate area.
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rachelli66
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Tue, Nov 22 2022, 5:17 pm
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OP work on bringing out her talents. As others wrote, baking, painting, sewing, knitting, gymnastics. There are so many ideas to explore. When she feels good about herself, she will get through school.
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amother
Offwhite
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Thu, Nov 24 2022, 7:09 pm
I'm not going to be cynical, but okay, here's me being cynical...
Girls do not need to be smart. they need to be pretty, thin, cute, sweet, popular, and friendly. They need to be nice. they need to come from adorable families. that is all.
Signed, someone who did very, very well in school but who didn't have the above going for her and then watched her classmates who didn't do well in school but who had all of the above marry the best boys in Brisk because that's apparently what they all wanted in their wives.
So I wouldn't worry about this too much.
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amother
Glitter
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Thu, Nov 24 2022, 7:28 pm
A very good friend of mine in college struggled with academics in both high school and college. She was a talented athlete and a very hard worker, both in sports and also in school. She competed all three sports seasons in college, worked part time, and also chose a science major. She did not graduate with a high GPA, but she did finish her degree, and eventually wound up getting a PhD in a related scientific field. Today, she has the kind of job that people say they want when they are kids but very few ever get to do (not astronaut or zookeeper, but something like that).
Someone who is not naturally quick at academics can still accomplish a lot academically, if they are determined and work hard. I also think it's wonderful to highlight other strengths, but I wouldn't write off such a girl's academic potential too quickly. I'm sure many people would have told my friend to become a coach or a gym teacher or a personal trainer, but the things that come most easily to us don't always set us up for the kind of future we want.
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