Home

What’s the average cost to marry off a girl these days?
  Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section


View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother




Orange
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 3:13 pm
amother Strawberry wrote:
Asking seriously shouldn't a Takanah wedding be cheaper than $100,000. how much was the wedding without renting her an apt. and furnishings?


The actual Takanah wedding split 50/50 between us cost our side about $10,000.
The rest of the expenses was Lchaim, Vort, Shabbos Sheva Brochos, clothing, apartment setup, furniture, gifts, hair and makeup and gowns for the family, sheitels, etc...
Back to top

amother




Mustard
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 3:16 pm
amother Strawberry wrote:
Asking seriously shouldn't a Takanah wedding be cheaper than $100,000. how much was the wedding without renting her an apt. and furnishings?

I'm assuming that the higher amounts listed here include furniture and probably apt costs. For those who want to keep costs down, that would be the first area. Cutting back on make up artists might save you a few hundred dollars, but cutting back on furniture purchases can save you thousands.
It's ok if a young couple starts off with a secondhand table or even (gasp) a folding table. If you can afford more, that's great. But if you can't, that's the first place to look at cutting.
Back to top

amother




Caramel
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 3:24 pm
My head is spinning and my oldest is only 15
When DH and I got married 17 years ago, we did not buy one piece of furniture except our beds. Everything else was second-hand. Every gown was from a gemach and I had a job and paid the rent (DH learned in kollel for 6 years). My parents are considered comfortable middle-class. Are kids so so spoiled these days or am I just coming from a different world?
Back to top

amother




Clover
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 3:30 pm
amother Caramel wrote:
My head is spinning and my oldest is only 15
When DH and I got married 17 years ago, we did not buy one piece of furniture except our beds. Everything else was second-hand. Every gown was from a gemach and I had a job and paid the rent (DH learned in kollel for 6 years). My parents are considered comfortable middle-class. Are kids so so spoiled these days or am I just coming from a different world?


agreed! I got married longer ago than that. but my parents were same as yours, comfortable middle class. we used money we got for wedding gifts for basic furniture. how much furniture does a young couple need to start with? same with a car, we started marriage without one, until we saved up enough to buy one. my parents would randomly offer to do our grocery shopping and would pay for it here and there. they would give us say $100 for Chanukah and $500 to help with pesach expenses. other than that we were on our own. and I think it was good for us!
my son got married and we didnt help towards furniture, he said he didnt need us to pay for anything, maybe a folding table. but in the end, our mechutanim wanted to pay for beds and chairs. so I ended up feeling a bit bad that we didnt contribute.
Back to top

amother




Valerian
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 4:15 pm
Takana wedding, ds, 50k
Back to top

Bnei Berak 10




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 4:43 pm
amother Caramel wrote:
My head is spinning and my oldest is only 15
When DH and I got married 17 years ago, we did not buy one piece of furniture except our beds. Everything else was second-hand. Every gown was from a gemach and I had a job and paid the rent (DH learned in kollel for 6 years). My parents are considered comfortable middle-class. Are kids so so spoiled these days or am I just coming from a different world?

You are coming from a *good normal world* that says that 2nd hand furniture is ABSOLUTELY FINE for a newly weds!
Back to top

amother




DarkPurple
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 5:26 pm
amother Hibiscus wrote:
Have to say that this topic makes me so nervous. We're not poor - firmly middle class - but I have no idea where I would suddenly find $50,000-ish per kid to make weddings. How is that people who do struggle financially and have large families do this?

Putting aside $50/week gets to more than $50k in 20 years. If put into the right accounts (investments, high yield savings, etc) it should add up to more. We start funds like this for our kids from when they're born.
Back to top

naturalmom5




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 5:35 pm
amother Mocha wrote:
$70k


Is there a fainting emoticom
Back to top

amother




Begonia
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 5:43 pm
Regarding furniture, I come from a comfortable family and the none of us got furniture. When we got married. My parents bought us a set of beds and the rest came secondhand. Bh we are now six couples married. All of us started out with second hand furniture that we got for free. Bh All of us besides one couple who moved to Israel after they got married. Bought a house within 2 years of marriage. My parents made very regular weddings, nothing over the top and they were all beautiful.
Back to top

amother




Mustard
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 5:51 pm
amother DarkPurple wrote:
Putting aside $50/week gets to more than $50k in 20 years. If put into the right accounts (investments, high yield savings, etc) it should add up to more. We start funds like this for our kids from when they're born.

Not everybody has $50 extra per kid per week. If you have 4 kids, that's $200 a week and $800 a month. If you have more, that could come out to well over $1,000. The people who are easily able to set aside $1,000 each month for 20 years straight probably aren't the ones who are anxiously wondering about how they will be able to manage one wedding, let alone multiple ones.
Back to top

amother




DarkPurple
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 6:12 pm
amother Mustard wrote:
Not everybody has $50 extra per kid per week. If you have 4 kids, that's $200 a week and $800 a month. If you have more, that could come out to well over $1,000. The people who are easily able to set aside $1,000 each month for 20 years straight probably aren't the ones who are anxiously wondering about how they will be able to manage one wedding, let alone multiple ones.

I agree that those who are struggling with the dailies can't do this.
But there are many people who aren't struggling, but improve their lifestyle based on their income without taking the future into account. And their daughter comes home from seminary and they're trying to conjur up $50k and they can't. And then the second child, etc. That anxiety is real too.
Consistently saving could keep them in check so they realize what kind of lifestyle they can actually afford.
Back to top

amother




Maple
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 6:16 pm
OP, there're also lechaim and vort costs.
(And monthly support if applicable).
And yes, 2nd hand furniture isn't usually done these days, unless the family is on a poorer side.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 6:32 pm
Op here

I’m plotzing. Total $100,000 WITH a takanah wedding!?!? Whoa, things are much more expensive than I realized.

Help me out with some details if you don’t mind…
Did you do takanah with any upgrades? I thought a takanah wedding is about $20,000, so 10k per side.
Did you splurge on expensive clothing, apartment set up, wigs, Etc? High end Chosson gifts?
Back to top

amother




Birch
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 6:52 pm
amother DarkPurple wrote:
I agree that those who are struggling with the dailies can't do this.
But there are many people who aren't struggling, but improve their lifestyle based on their income without taking the future into account. And their daughter comes home from seminary and they're trying to conjur up $50k and they can't. And then the second child, etc. That anxiety is real too.
Consistently saving could keep them in check so they realize what kind of lifestyle they can actually afford.


What do they do? I look around and it looks like everyone is doing it…
(Dh and I are trying to save and invest $20k a year for this.)
Back to top

amother




Mustard
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 6:57 pm
amother DarkPurple wrote:
I agree that those who are struggling with the dailies can't do this.
But there are many people who aren't struggling, but improve their lifestyle based on their income without taking the future into account. And their daughter comes home from seminary and they're trying to conjur up $50k and they can't. And then the second child, etc. That anxiety is real too.
Consistently saving could keep them in check so they realize what kind of lifestyle they can actually afford.

I think more people are struggling than you realize.
I also wonder how much of the 70-100k is going towards apt rental money or some sort of home down payment chunk of money.
Back to top

amother




Bone
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 7:03 pm
amother Orange wrote:
I just married off a daughter B'H and I would describe myself similar to you. It cost us about $100,000 with a 100% Takanah wedding in Neems Hachaim. Shabbos Sheva Brochos was a big expense and I did spend nice money on the Kallah and setting up her home...

Similar experience. Here's the breakdown:
Almost 33k for wedding night, including hall, caterer, (beautiful fake) flowers, photographer, musician, singer, badchan (chassidish wedding), split in half, so about 16,500.
About 32k for chasunah package of furniture, housewares, linen, plus additional to paint apartment, appliances, window shades, 2 months rent before wedding, split in half, so again about $16k.
Our costs alone was about $55k, for Tenoim, Shabbos Sheva Brochos, chassan gifts, kallah teacher, gowns/suits for kallah and family, makeup/hair, kallah's wigs and some special wardrobe items.
All in all, it was close to 90k for a balabatish but not over-the-top simcha (no full band or choir, no real flowers). I think several years ago prices were probably about 10k less.
ETA: Above includes new wig for myself. If you can do Tenoim/Shabbos Sheva Brochos at home, that would take off 10k.
Back to top

amother




Azure
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 7:10 pm
following
Back to top

amother




Lawngreen
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 7:17 pm
We married off two kids already and our third and fourth are currently engaged b"h. The first two were upgraded tekunos weddings and after all was set and done, it costed us $100K each. Due to inflation, I expect to pay the same (or more) for my next two. We are middle of the road Lakewood. We didnt go crazy, nor did we go cheap. My kids got decent furniture (not italian or high end etc) and our furniture and home budgets were based on Chasunah packages. So where did we spend the big amounts? Wedding, Sheva Brochos, Vort, Gifts, Wigs, Furniture, Clothing (both bride and family) gowns, Apartment Set Up and advance rent, among others... it adds up very quickly.Though we had no idea how we would marry off as we did not have much in savings, we've learned that hashem really truly comes through for us. We pretty much lived on a budget all our life, but marrying off a child comes with pretty big expenses. I personally cannot imagine how people spend only 20-50K.
Back to top

amother




Dill
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 7:19 pm
Lock stock and barrel
I’d say middle of the road
$80-$100K
There are some things you can go cheaper with and some you should go high end
For example I would get a new kallah high end quality pots
Back to top

amother




Maple
 

Post Wed, Nov 23 2022, 7:22 pm
amother Bone wrote:
Similar experience. Here's the breakdown:
Almost 33k for wedding night, including hall, caterer, (beautiful fake) flowers, photographer, musician, singer, badchan (chassidish wedding), split in half, so about 16,500.
About 32k for chasunah package of furniture, housewares, linen, plus additional to paint apartment, appliances, window shades, 2 months rent before wedding, split in half, so again about $16k.
Our costs alone was about $55k, for Tenoim, Shabbos Sheva Brochos, chassan gifts, kallah teacher, gowns/suits for kallah and family, makeup/hair, kallah's wigs and some special wardrobe items.
All in all, it was close to 90k for a balabatish but not over-the-top simcha (no full band or choir, no real flowers). I think several years ago prices were probably about 10k less.
ETA: Above includes new wig for myself. If you can do Tenoim/Shabbos Sheva Brochos at home, that would take off 10k.

How much were tenoim/vort and shabbos Sheva brochos?
These figures are insane Sad
Back to top
Page 3 of 7   Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section

Related Topics Replies Last Post
How can a high school girl miss school?
by amother
21 Today at 3:41 pm View last post
Cost of taxi from Ben Gurion to Ramat Beit Shemesh?
by amother
7 Today at 1:14 pm View last post
Teen girl - shopping and “extras” for sleep away camp
by amother
0 Today at 1:12 pm View last post
ISO: Camp for English-Speaking Girl from Israel to WORK in
by amother
12 Today at 3:44 am View last post
by yc
Looking for sporty camp for 11 yo girl, not so rah rah
by LALA2
14 Fri, Dec 02 2022, 10:04 am View last post