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Went out to eat last night in a really nice high end place
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farm




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 1:13 am
If there is a no children rule in a restaurant, I would expect it to be child free. And if there is no such rule, patrons can bring their children. I do not believe in unwritten rules. Is this any different than bringing outside food or a pet? As long as people are following the rules of the establishment, you donโ€™t get to decide that itโ€™s rude.
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 6:09 am
I think the main reason we don't often see young children at upscale restaurants is financial, not etiquette related.

In general, young children don't tend to appreciate what one is paying a lot of money for -- the service, the decor, the fancy food. So why spend that money on bringing them?

But some kids actually might appreciate the experience, or their family might enjoy the time together, and the kid is okay with the experience. And if those kids are behaving, it's hard to make a meaningful argument that a parent is wrong to bring them.
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DVOM




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 6:32 am
imasinger wrote:
I think the main reason we don't often see young children at upscale restaurants is financial, not etiquette related.

In general, young children don't tend to appreciate what one is paying a lot of money for -- the service, the decor, the fancy food. So why spend that money on bringing them?

But some kids actually might appreciate the experience, or their family might enjoy the time together, and the kid is okay with the experience. And if those kids are behaving, it's hard to make a meaningful argument that a parent is wrong to bring them.


About 3 years ago we started taking our kids out to eat, let's say 2x a year. Nothing super high end, but menu and waiter service and real dishes and cutlery type of places. We make a big deal of those evenings, travel to close by bigger cities (we live in Lakewood, so Philly or Manhattan), dress up a bit.

My boys absolutely love it. They love the ambiance, being waited on, choosing and tasting interesting new foods. They sit with their menus for a long time, ask the waiter for recommendations...

Mostly though it's just fun to spend some time together ๐Ÿ™‚.

It's sad to think that the sight of my kids, well behaved and polite, might be ruining someone else's evening, but I guess that's their problem, not mine.
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DVOM




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 6:44 am
amother Wandflower wrote:
no one has a problem seeing a yiddish child. Why are you twisting words?
The problem is when the child is in a setting where it does not belong.
I wouldn't take even a sleeping baby to a business meeting. Does that mean that I'm not taking the baby along because my co-workers don't want to see a yiddish kind?


Your comparison is very strange. Presumably a child doesn't belong in a business meeting because they would prevent those working from getting their job done effectively.

A well behaved child does nothing to stop other diners from enjoying their meal.

(Side bar: I am familiar with many companies at this point that allow mother to bring young babies to work until a certain age. Even more common is a kid coming to work on a rare occasion. I had one of my kids come to a work meeting with me once. He sat for the hour next to me with headphones and a coloring book, and no one seemed disturbed or upset, including my boss. I think most parents have had those occasional crazy days when babysitters don't show up, friends and family are unavailable, and there's nothing to do for it but bring the kid along. I have very fond memories of accompanying my father to work one day as a young child. His secretary let me play with her rolodex and then showed me how to alphabetize some files. This was over 30 years ago, so kids occasionally coming to work isn't a brand new phenomenon. In Israel, my sister in laws university allows babies younger than I think 5 months to come to class (but not labs) with their mothers. Children are everywhere!)
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freilich




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 8:57 am
DVOM wrote:
This thread makes me feel kind of sad.

Here's what's going through my mind: maybe your all really burnt out from the demands of parenting your own children. It's the only reason I can think of for a Jewish mom reacting with such distain to the sight (not loud crying, not vomiting, not running wild, just the sight) of a Jewish child.

Am I the only one who enjoys the sight of (reasonably well behaved) frum families in restaurants, or out enjoying themselves anywhere, really?

Kids are beautiful. I'm not at all miffed by seeing them in a nice restaurant.
It actually warms my heart when I see this. As long as rhe parents are taking care of the kids in a responsible matter it shouldn't bother.
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amother




Blonde
 

Post Fri, Nov 25 2022, 9:02 am
DVOM wrote:
About 3 years ago we started taking our kids out to eat, let's say 2x a year. Nothing super high end, but menu and waiter service and real dishes and cutlery type of places. We make a big deal of those evenings, travel to close by bigger cities (we live in Lakewood, so Philly or Manhattan), dress up a bit.

My boys absolutely love it. They love the ambiance, being waited on, choosing and tasting interesting new foods. They sit with their menus for a long time, ask the waiter for recommendations...

Mostly though it's just fun to spend some time together ๐Ÿ™‚.

It's sad to think that the sight of my kids, well behaved and polite, might be ruining someone else's evening, but I guess that's their problem, not mine.


I think it's so healthy and normal for kids to learn how to behave in a restaurant.

My DD is in shidduchim, and she has had occasion to be taken out by young men to restaurants (not necessarily high end. More like sushi, etc...but my point stands.) She says some of these young men literally do not know how to handle themselves. They are super-awkward. They don't know the proper ettiquete, they don't know the protocol, to come in, be seated, order. I think taking your sons out to eat is a great idea.
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