Went out to eat last night in a really nice high end place

amother

DarkGray

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 3:11 pm

My inlaws insist in taking my noisy brood to high end restaurants a few times a year. I HATE it, my kids have no patience for waiting, no interest in fancy food, and not great with glass. But they INSIST. So sorry all you people for when we show up
Believe me I rather get pizza and keep the cash.

amother

Snapdragon

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 3:22 pm

It would only bother me if the toddler was running around or throwing a tantrum...

My inlaws made a family get together in a fancy restaurant and we didnt go because my baby was unpredictable and colicky and I refused to ruin others night out
Now she is older...I still wouldnt bring her to a high end restaurant because she makes too much noise

amother

Heather

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 3:53 pm

Did that couple with the toddler ask you to watch their child?
Did you have to run after him?
Why is it your business?

I'm really disturbed by this attitude. Bh for children.

Sit at your table and enjoy! Be happy that you can leave your children at home.

lamplighter

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 4:09 pm

I hate when I go out to eat with my husband and people are being obnoxiously loud. I don't discriminate by age. If you're in a high end restaurant behave appropriately.

I do wonder if there are any restaurants where decorum and ambience is enforced.

amother

Chartreuse

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 4:28 pm

amother NeonBlue wrote:

Disrespectful that a couple decided to eat where you did and they have a child they didn’t want to leave for whatever reason? Did I get that right?
No, they did nothing wrong unless the toddler stuck his pinky into your food or yelled directly into your ear. I don’t see how another couple’s toddler affects you. If you want to pick and choose who gets to eat there when you do or decide from what age is allowed in you can rent the entire restaurant for the night.

Once I was in a restaurant and the baby of the couple at the table next to mine reached over a few times to grab some of my French fries. (I don't mind eating fries my own child touched but no, I don't want to eat fries an unrelated child touched.)The parents just smiled at me in an oh isn't he so cute type of way and did nothing to move him away or apologize or give him anything else.

Sometimes parents don't realize that other people aren't going to be as enthused about their child's antics to the same degree. I have nothing against people bringing kids but please be aware of and monitor your child's behavior to make it isn't bothering the other diners.

amother

Crystal

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 4:40 pm

A little OT, but I’m getting similar vibes to the nursing in public thread. Some say it’s normal and if the mother is covered/the kids are quiet then MYOB and don’t like if it bothers you, others say it’s rude and inappropriate.

As long as we recognize that there is no halacha or formal rule about it, we’ll have to agree to disagree…

amother

Clover

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 4:46 pm

amother Raspberry wrote:

Lol. We were out in Entree last night when people came in with an infant and they got themselves seated and then started making a bottle and bottle feeding. I told my DH we better get out before they start burping the baby and she spits up all over us. We were right near them.

So I kind of know what you mean! When I see that baby I do wince a little. Like I'm finally away from the kids and just want a nice night out. Not a noisy family restaurant type of thing. And then I'm like Oh no, do I have to deal with someone else's meltdown. Whatevs. I really do understand them though. Sometimes ppl need to get out and can't get childcare. It is what it is.

We’ve actually brought a new born to entree and fed him a bottle. Guests and staff were all very nice and no one looked at us. There’s nothing wrong with bringing kids to any restaurant.

amother

Steel

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 4:49 pm

This is not something I would do. We once brought our baby with is when we were on vacation to a nicer cafe-type establishment (like milchig fine dining) and he leaked through his diaper. We should have ordered in..,

naturalmom5

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 5:27 pm

when one of my boys was an infant I went with him to a coffee bar in Jackson, a lot of the patrons were screaming , get him out of here.

But they were single non Jews in their 20s, club going types

I am shocked and allegedly frum lady thinks this way Surprised

amother

Cognac

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 5:37 pm

amother Crystal wrote:

No, two different scenarios. You can not compare a quite kid to a mom nursing in public. It's not even apples and oranges.

I have no issue with a quite baby/ kid in a high end restaurant. Yet I take great issue to a loud group. If you need to make noise take out a party room. That is disrespectful!

amother

Gardenia

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 5:52 pm

I don't think the mere presence of a young child in an upscale restaurant is a problem. I took my kids to them when they were small, but I was vigilant about making sure they were well behaved and left if it ever went downhill. I was just in a restaurant in Europe on Shabbos with pre paid meals. The family at the next table had 4 kids. The baby was unhappy in the high chair so Mom held him throughout the meal. However, when the toddler turned over the heavy wooden chair on my leg, the parents did and said nothing. I called the waiter and asked him to remove the chair since it was inches from my foot and not being used. I really felt for the parents as they probably had nowhere else to go, but I thought their failure to apologize was wrong.

amother

Crystal

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 6:17 pm

amother Cognac wrote:

No, two different scenarios. You can not compare a quite kid to a mom nursing in public. It's not even apples and oranges.

I'd compare a mother nursing fully covered in a room with others to the presence of a quiet toddler, but again we'll have to agree to disagree.

amother

Cognac

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 6:31 pm

amother Crystal wrote:

I'd compare a mother nursing fully covered in a room with others to the presence of a quiet toddler, but again we'll have to agree to disagree.

Can't compare it! Sorry

amother

Rose

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 6:38 pm

amother Raspberry wrote:

My anniversary is coming up and my baby isn’t easy, so I’m probably going to have to take her out with us. And she’ll hopefully be quiet, she’s young. But you are making me feel so self conscious.
Why can’t you look at a baby? You really think she’s going to spit up on you? If her spit up arches that far than she has a medical issue lol.
Please don’t make people feel self conscious.

mommy3b2c

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 6:57 pm

When my son turned two years old we celebrated his birthday in a very upscale steak house. Not only was he in the restaurant , he was the guest of honor. Shocking 😱
Excuse me while I go smell some peppermint (or whatever it is fainting people smell.)

notshanarishona

Wed, Nov 23 2022, 9:22 pm

Personally I wouldn’t bring my kid into any restaurant that isn’t suitable for toddlers because I would be afraid of being asked to pay for damages. I wouldn’t want to go somewhere that only serves on glass/ everything is breakable.
That being said, although I would find it weird to see toddlers at a upper class place, I don’t think someone is doing something wrong to bring their kids as long as they take responsibility to keep them relatively well behaved and not bothering others.
It does bother me when people bring toddlers to shul or shiurim, but that’s a whole nother story.

moonstone

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 1:26 am

[quote="amother Phlox"]We eat out at upscale restaurants as a family with our young children. There's no adults only rule. If our kids are acting up or disturbing others, we either take the child out to calm them down or leave.
Not everyone can find proper babysitting and they shouldn't be banned from eating out.[/quote]

I disagree with that. Eating out in a high-end restaurant is not an inalienable right. Not being able to find a babysitter doesn't mean it's OK to take babies/small children to places they really don't belong. Being a parent means that sometimes you have to miss out on things. It's not a tragedy.

amother

Phlox

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 1:34 am

[quote="moonstone"]

amother Phlox wrote:

We eat out at upscale restaurants as a family with our young children. There's no adults only rule. If our kids are acting up or disturbing others, we either take the child out to calm them down or leave.
Not everyone can find proper babysitting and they shouldn't be banned from eating out.[/quote]

I disagree with that. Eating out in a high-end restaurant is not an inalienable right. Not being able to find a babysitter doesn't mean it's OK to take babies/small children to places they really don't belong. Being a parent means that sometimes you have to miss out on things. It's not a tragedy.

Everyone has equal right to eat out. Having children and bringing them along, doesn't strip one of that right. Unless the restaurant has a no kids rule, everyone may eat there, as long as they're not disturbing others. Anyone that's disturbing others, doesn't belong there. Regardless if they're a child or adult. If you can't stand the mere sight of a child while you're eating out, then stay home. It's not a tragedy after all. You don't have more right to eat out than anyone else.