Went out to eat last night in a really nice high end place

amother

Sunflower

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 9:47 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

Glad I’m not part of that society. Sounds nasty.

Why is it nasty? A couple hires a babysitter and wants to have a nice upscale night out, sans kids. I think we all deserve that once in a while.

amother

Phlox

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 9:52 pm

amother Sunflower wrote:

Why is it nasty? A couple hires a babysitter and wants to have a nice upscale night out, sans kids. I think we all deserve that once in a while.

If they hire a babysitter, they want to have a night out sans THEIR OWN children. Other's children have absolutely nothing to do with them. If I go out without my children, I couldn't care less if there are other children around. They're not mine, I don't need to care for them. They have nothing to do with me. If a couple absolutely cannot see a child while they're out, they need to go to a child free place or rent out a private room at a restaurant. But to be upset that there's a kid in the restaurant, is beyond entitled. And to be more bothered by the site of a kid than by noisy adults, is just beyond my comprehension.

DVOM

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:01 pm

This thread makes me feel kind of sad.

Here's what's going through my mind: maybe your all really burnt out from the demands of parenting your own children. It's the only reason I can think of for a Jewish mom reacting with such distain to the sight (not loud crying, not vomiting, not running wild, just the sight) of a Jewish child.

Am I the only one who enjoys the sight of (reasonably well behaved) frum families in restaurants, or out enjoying themselves anywhere, really?

Kids are beautiful. I'm not at all miffed by seeing them in a nice restaurant.

amother

Wandflower

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:46 pm

amother Hyssop wrote:

I don’t think that’s it’s disrespectful I think it’s missing etiquette. When I go to a high end restaurant and will be spending $300 for a meal I don’t expect to see kids there that includes babies and toddlers.

This is putting it so well!!
I can't believe the below post which was in response to the above post!!

mommy3b2c wrote:

This made me laugh out loud. I don’t know what to say. I know I’m responding to so many posts but these comments are hilarious in a roll your eyes kind of way and I just feel like responding to all of them to say how ridiculous they sound.

It’s definitely missing etiquette!
amother Hyssop said it so well said!

amother

Brass

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:47 pm

amother Sunflower wrote:

Why is it nasty? A couple hires a babysitter and wants to have a nice upscale night out, sans kids. I think we all deserve that once in a while.

No restaurant has a no children policy. Why on earth would she expect a “sans kids” night at a restaurant?

amother

Wandflower

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:48 pm

amother Sunflower wrote:

At an upscale restaurant absolutely. In the non frum society where I grew up it’s considered very bad manners to bring young children to upscale restaurants.

I totally understand why it is so!

amother

Wandflower

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:49 pm

amother Brass wrote:

No restaurant has a no children policy. Why on earth would she expect a “sans kids” night at a restaurant?

Because in real life, not on imamother, people usually don't bring kids to an upscale restaurant.

amother

Brass

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:50 pm

amother Hyssop wrote:

You dont expect to see kids? Well isn’t that just too bad
You can offer to pay for their babysitters then…

amother

Wandflower

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:51 pm

I'm seriously wondering if imamothers are just trying to bash here? or do you really not understand why kids don't belong at a restaurant?

amother

Wandflower

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:54 pm

DVOM wrote:

no one has a problem seeing a yiddish child. Why are you twisting words?
The problem is when the child is in a setting where it does not belong.
I wouldn't take even a sleeping baby to a business meeting. Does that mean that I'm not taking the baby along because my co-workers don't want to see a yiddish kind?

amother

Wandflower

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:58 pm

DVOM wrote:

And to add, I'm not a burnt out mom at all. My kids are angels and give me energy! I waited for each one of my 4 kids many years and I appreciate a yiddish child more than many others do. yet I strongly feel that it's not proper etiquette to bring a precious yiddish child to a restaurant.

amother

Peach

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:01 pm

I am baffled by those who keep insisting that nice restaurants are simply NOT places for babies/toddlers/young kids regardless of behavior.

I am the first one to get annoyed with some screaming or running around child - and more particularly the parents who don't seem to care one iota that their kid is ruining everyone's evening.

But to simply be angry that someone allowed their child to come to dinner? When they are behaving appropriately? WHY????

It doesn't make any sense to me at all. I wonder if it's really about something else. Perhaps jealousy. Either jealousy that your own kids don't know how or aren't able to behave well in such places? Or jealousy over the ease of spending so much money on a child's meal? I don't know. I just suspect there is something more behind this odd stance.

amother

NeonBlue

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:11 pm

amother Wandflower wrote:

I'm seriously wondering if imamothers are just trying to bash here? or do you really not understand why kids don't belong at a restaurant?

Some people bring kids to restaurants, some prefer babysitters. Same with weddings. My kids, my problem. Others’ kids, their problem. I don’t give a fly what others do and I don’t understand why you’re so sure that your way is right! Both are acceptable, do what works for you and don’t worry about what someone else prefers.
P.S. I’m still wondering what compelled you to post on this thread at all.

amother

Phlox

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:15 pm

amother Wandflower wrote:

Because in real life, not on imamother, people usually don't bring kids to an upscale restaurant.

People sure do.
So far no one has answered this question that I keep on asking.
Are you also bothered by adults being loud and noisy, or does only the mere site of a child make you so upset?

amother

Phlox

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:18 pm

amother Wandflower wrote:

I'm seriously wondering if imamothers are just trying to bash here? or do you really not understand why kids don't belong at a restaurant?

No, I seriously don't understand why well behaved children don't belong at a restaurant. If someone gets so angry at the site of a child, to the point that it ruins their evening, they should rent out a private space. It's an awful attitude. A child that's not yours has nothing to do with you and shouldn't impact your meal.

amother

Phlox

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:19 pm

amother Wandflower wrote:

So don't bring your children. But don't tell others what to do, and if the site of a child bothers you so much, you have something to work on.

amother

Watermelon

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:21 pm

amother Wandflower wrote:

Because in real life, not on imamother, people usually don't bring kids to an upscale restaurant.

I have friends that range from chassidish to secular and non Jewish (business and school colleagues).

It used to be considered poor manners but our society has become much more accepting of families and children are really expected everywhere and anywhere. I’ve taken my newborn all around Manhatten when we were there for a weeklong work event and got nothing but smiles. Some snooty people don’t like it but that doesn’t change the fact that they are welcome just as well as you are.

We went out to peppercrust tonight btw, and there was a family with 4 children that were incredibly well mannered. Another table had a baby and the mother left as soon as the baby cried.

amother

Lightcyan

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:32 pm

I'll just add that DH and I go out to eat maybe 5-6 times a year.

And when we get to the restaurant and there's a large group, I groan inside. Because clearly it's not going to be a nice quiet relaxing experience.

Not because of little kids. Because of noisy adults who are having a hilarious, rollicking, noisy good time.

But I probably have a touch of misophonia, or some sensory issue. I like quiet. Tonight we could have gone out but we stayed home...

amother

Cognac

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 12:40 am

amother Lightcyan wrote:

It's you and everyone else . If you must make noise and act like immature teenagers take out a party room. You aren't being fair to the other dinners.