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Do I need to give chanukah gifts to mechtunim children
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 9:00 am
Im wondering if we need to give chanunka gifts to my sons future bil and sil? It's not too many siblings just wondering what to do.
Chasidish If it makes a difference
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amother




Kiwi
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 9:19 am
Some people do it, and I think it's just an unnecessary new standard.
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amother




Hyacinth
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 9:19 am
Never heard of such things! But, hey you never know!
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amother




Stone
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 9:27 am
Need is a strong word.
Many chassidish families do do this. But not in a minhag type of way. Just as a sweet gesture if you are in the mood and can financially swing it.

If you are looking for ideas... When I was a kallah I got a magazine rack for my mother in law. Inside I put in a book for every child keeping it age and gender appropriate. I thought it was classy and I didn't have to run around figuring out what I can get for every kid.
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amother




Charcoal
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 9:28 am
You can send family games instead of individual presents.
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amother




Cornsilk
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:07 am
My in-laws are chassidish, but I never heard of anyone who does this. Why create more "necessary" gifts?
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:12 am
Years ago it was in style . I got gifts from my brothers kallas. I think at one point it stopped and maybe started again . They dont have too many children and also I don't want that if they send to my kids I shouldn't give something too.
I know I don't need to do it .
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amother




DarkOrange
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 10:22 am
I married off a number of kids, in the chassidishe world, unless you discuss with your mecheteniste not to, you will most likely get gifts....
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doodlesmom




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:26 am
My mom just sent an umbrella stand for the house, and an appropriate umbrella for each of the kids and mechatunim.
It was well received.
And not overly expensive.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:28 am
amother DarkOrange wrote:
I married off a number of kids, in the chassidishe world, unless you discuss with your mecheteniste not to, you will most likely get gifts....


I know I just dont know how to broach it and money is not an issue for them either
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amother




Blonde
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:29 am
amother Kiwi wrote:
Some people do it, and I think it's just an unnecessary new standard.


I don't think it's the standard, but its definitely not new.
I got chanuka presents 20 years ago from my oldest sisters future MIL, and continued getting for most of my siblings throughout the years.
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amother




Lavender
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:30 am
If you asking... then ,yes .honestly you "need to" of course that's in quotes because you don't really "need to " but it's a need that we created .yep.
Chasidishe machitenista here.
I'm in your boat searching for gifts for a 4-year-old and a 2 year old boys and for a 17 year old 14-year-old and 11 year old boys.
Big boys I guess get wallets little boys I guess get toys what do I do with 11 year old I have no clue. open ideas
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yachnabobba




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:47 am
NO when will this insanity end????? The gardener? Cleaning lady???? Grrrr
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boysrus




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:49 am
so confused...
since when did Chanukah gifts become the Jewish way?
its taken from the non-Jewish world.
chanukah gelt or treats I understand... but gifts?
I honestly didn't imagine that this non Jewish trend could have made its way into the chassidishe world Sad
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amother




Kiwi
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:53 am
boysrus wrote:
so confused...
since when did Chanukah gifts become the Jewish way?
its taken from the non-Jewish world.
chanukah gelt or treats I understand... but gifts?
I honestly didn't imagine that this non Jewish trend could have made its way into the chassidishe world Sad


Unfortunately, chanukah has become the jewish x-mas for many people. They decorate outside of their homes, prepare gifts for the children to find every morning..... it's just sad.
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:56 am
Do people do chanuka and Purim? Or either one?
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amother




Yarrow
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 11:58 am
I got a game for my young BILs and 3 books for my 3 HS SILs. My mother didn't do it. I as the kallah did. But my siblings didn't get anything from the chassan's side.
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 12:00 pm
amother OP wrote:
Years ago it was in style . I got gifts from my brothers kallas. I think at one point it stopped and maybe started again . They dont have too many children and also I don't want that if they send to my kids I shouldn't give something too.
I know I don't need to do it .

I would do that regardless of circles. If I can afford it I would acknowledge and foster the relationship
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scruffy




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 12:04 pm
Maybe it's because I'm from a different culture but I just don't get it. Why would you buy kid's future siblings in law present? I could hear the chassan/kallah buying them presents (although chances are it's not like they will actually give these siblings in law presents every year in the future) but it seems weird for you to get for them.
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amother




Maroon
 

Post Thu, Nov 24 2022, 12:16 pm
boysrus wrote:
so confused...
since when did Chanukah gifts become the Jewish way?
its taken from the non-Jewish world.
chanukah gelt or treats I understand... but gifts?
I honestly didn't imagine that this non Jewish trend could have made its way into the chassidishe world Sad


Nothing to do with non Jewish trend. My great grandmother is from Hungary, very choshev family and their parents gave their kids gifts each chanukah.
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