Do I need to give chanukah gifts to mechtunim children

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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doodlesmom

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 8:20 pm

Usually they choose one time during the engagement to gift.
As I wrote my mom did the umbrellas to take out the headache of what to give each kid age appropriate…

My sil, the kallah bought a personalized drink bottle for all the nieces and nephews. Cute, but not necessary.

Flower25

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 8:53 pm

When I was engaged I sent something for my chusens brothers and something for his sister for chanuka. nothing big but they truly appreciated it! not a must but I think it is beautiful and much appreciated, if you can afford it of course!

amother

Apple

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 9:14 pm

Not chassidesh but I love giving presents. When I was engaged I was so excited to be getting new siblings in law so when I visited them I gave all the younger kids something with a personal touch that didn’t cost much but took time (like a handmade sweater) and they still treasure it.

runninglate

Thu, Nov 24 2022, 9:58 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

It's a ridiculous 'minhag' that people have started in the recent past. It started out with mishloach manos, Reb Shayalas yurtzeit, continued on to Lag Bomer, then traveled to Shabbos Nachamu, then to Chanuka, then to Tu Bshvat etc... I left out the major big four destinations of Rosh Hashanah, Sukkos, Pesach and Shavuos.
I'm sure that I'm missing out some other major man made yomim tovim for gift giving.
The sky is really the limit.

Reb Shaya’la’s yartzeit?! Was that a joke that I’m just not getting?

amother

Teal

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 12:54 am

I married off 3 kids already. I always discussed this with my mechatuni, in advance that we won't. Bh money isn't an issue but I don't need additional headaches....

amother

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 11:20 am

amother Plum wrote:

This is culturally accepted in Chasidisha circles, some more than other... So no point in arguing if its a need or not. Its your own choice.

Nobody will hang you or despise if you dont... But its sweet and thoughtful if that's your "norm" ... In my circles the kallah gifts the future kids -in-law (I don't think the chasans side gives...) on chanukah or Purim...

You don't have to rob a bank if its impossible for you. Keep it basic and thoughtful. With cricut machines all around, order cheaper stuff on amazon and personalize anything... It already makes it cool and not so out of reach unaffordable.

If you Wanna go w more themey and grand you could give every kid a book and wrap it into a magazine rack... Or stick to one theme like "warm" for everyone (snuggly sweater wraps/mug...)

So your saying that the chussen side doesnt give anything? If anything only the kalla side ?

care4u

Fri, Nov 25 2022, 11:28 am

And on the other thread they wonder why weddings are 70k a kid.
'It's only a couple hundred dollars'
Yeah, all those hundreds add up.

amother

Plum

Sat, Nov 26 2022, 9:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

So your saying that the chussen side doesnt give anything? If anything only the kalla side ?

Not the acceptable norm for chusins side to give. The kallah giving gifts to her future single sibs in law somewhat makes sense and is a sweet gesture.

amother

Sat, Nov 26 2022, 10:12 pm

amother Plum wrote:

Not the acceptable norm for chusins side to give. The kallah giving gifts to her future single sibs in law somewhat makes sense and is a sweet gesture.

If that's the case then I wouldn't have opened this thread since I have the chussen

amother

Sun, Dec 18 2022, 9:52 pm

OP here: sure enough kalla send nice gifts to my kids. I didn't get anything for their kids . Hopefully kids won't be disappointed

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