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Teachers Gift
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what would be a real substantial Chanukah gift for a teacher looking to give a lot but don't want to be inappropriate
250  
 62%  [ 45 ]
500  
 16%  [ 12 ]
1000  
 11%  [ 8 ]
5000  
 2%  [ 2 ]
10000  
 6%  [ 5 ]
Total Votes : 72



amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:49 pm
amother Orchid wrote:
I hear that you are afraid of flaunting. Can you explain more what you mean by that?

I'm just concerned that if you give a large amount without the reassurance that you can afford this amount, the teacher will either feel badly about it or feel obligated to give more to your child.

If that is what you are able to give, I don't think you are flaunting. But obviously you can only do what you feel comfortable with.

sounds like we are Mister Rich that is throwing money at you Mister Poor if we don't talk about money just how thankful we are so it's not discussing how we can just throw 10k in the garbage it shows more like we feel money well spent (obviously we can afford it as this isn't a bill) and are overly thankful... do you think we are wrong in the mindset?

(BTW thanks for the reply you seem very level headed and appreciate your insight...)
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Thu, Dec 01 2022, 12:02 am
Thanks for the thank you for my replies Smile

I'm not sure if you saw probably at the same time you posted, I edited my post to add a clarification:

In my head the alternative to this being within your means is that you can't really afford it but are doing it anyways...

An example this conversation is bringing to mind is shadchanus. Imagine a shadchan who is not particularly wealthy herself. If someone who is well to do gives her a nice amount of money, she will happily accept. If there is someone who lives simply and says we really appreciate all of your hard work and the time you put in and writes a detailed and flowery message and then gives that same amount as the well to do individual she may feel uncomfortable. But if that same person says, I know we live simply but we really value what you do and this is something we are able to afford (with these being the key words) I do think that the generous gift would be easier to accept.

However, really only do what you are comfortable with. I am just saying that I don't think it is flaunting if you give according to what you have. If you are concerned about being found out (that people will gossip and others don't know you have money to give) that is another question. I would hope that the rebbi/morah would use discretion and not share about this.
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Thu, Dec 01 2022, 12:07 am
One more thing, I may take back what I said about saying this is within our means if you or your child give off a wealthy impression (whatever that means). Then it may not be necessary to say straight out that you can afford it, because maybe it is understood without you having to say it explicitly.
I would think it's only important to say this if it will look like it's out of the blue and very surprising.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 01 2022, 10:10 am
amother Orchid wrote:
One more thing, I may take back what I said about saying this is within our means if you or your child give off a wealthy impression (whatever that means). Then it may not be necessary to say straight out that you can afford it, because maybe it is understood without you having to say it explicitly.
I would think it's only important to say this if it will look like it's out of the blue and very surprising.

With the help of a friend of mine (who is friends with a teacher in the school didn't tell her about me was just researching about school clientele and what type of gifts...) there are a lot of well to do parents in the school and no-one knows exactly who they are and always surprises so don't think I have to say anything as they will just assume that we can afford it as there are a lot of parents like that in the school... do you think I am making the right assumption with that background?
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Thu, Dec 01 2022, 10:12 pm
amother OP wrote:
With the help of a friend of mine (who is friends with a teacher in the school didn't tell her about me was just researching about school clientele and what type of gifts...) there are a lot of well to do parents in the school and no-one knows exactly who they are and always surprises so don't think I have to say anything as they will just assume that we can afford it as there are a lot of parents like that in the school... do you think I am making the right assumption with that background?


Yes I do think that makes sense. Go for it OP!
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 01 2022, 10:18 pm
amother Orchid wrote:
Yes I do think that makes sense. Go for it OP!

Thanks For The Reply I feel like you are really smart and level headed I wish I had more friends like you?
Appreciate all your input it was a great help and chizuk
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Thu, Dec 01 2022, 10:21 pm
Aww you're so sweet Smile thanks for taking the time again to thank me.
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amother
DarkGray


 

Post Thu, Dec 01 2022, 11:18 pm
Id love to know what you and your dh do that you have 10k to give to teachers!
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amother
Maple


 

Post Mon, Dec 19 2022, 7:04 pm
OP, I've been been thinking about your dreams of a generous Chanukah gift for that teacher! What did you end up doing for that lucky recipient??
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amother
DarkViolet


 

Post Mon, Dec 19 2022, 8:34 pm
amother Maple wrote:
OP, I've been been thinking about your dreams of a generous Chanukah gift for that teacher! What did you end up doing for that lucky recipient??


So curious as well!
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