Why are kids not in school

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Mauve

Sat, Nov 26 2022, 11:48 pm

I live in ohio where we have edchoice vouchers.

The kids who are not in school are being homeschooled because their parents choose to homeschool them (don't believe in regular school)

amother

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 8:11 am

I just want to say this. I also thought my community didn't have this problem. You don't know unless it's a tiny community and you know everybody.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 8:16 am

amother NeonOrange wrote:

I agree, but sometimes the community decided that the family should go to one specific school (that would accept them). But the parents feel that it's totally not in line with their hashkafa and it's not where they want to send their child.
Other schools feels like it's not their responsibility because they have that one place that would take them.
It's very painful for parent to feel like they don't have a choice in their child's chinuch!

I don't have a solution. But I've heard this many times. "let them go to xyz, it's where they belong." or "they have a place, they just don't want to send there..."

My daughter was asked to leave her school because of special needs issues the school could not meet. Every school that was asked to accept her said ‘we don’t have to take her- she already has a school’. Except that the school that asked us to find another place for her made it VERY clear that she did not have a place. And no one would help us. And the special needs schools said she was too high functioning, so that was not an option. We needed a shadow situation within a regular school and no one would give us the time of day. (Yes she is in school now, but it took several months of her being home every day).

amother

Maple

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 8:21 am

I have a nephew who is not in school. He is very bright but probably on the spectrum, ASD, with behavioral issues. He is also in a complicated home situation. Apparently the (SN) schools decided that his issues are caused by his parents (some of them may be, but his parents didn't cause his ASD) and he's too difficult to take on. So he isn't in school.

amother

Molasses

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 8:35 am

My son is in a school and we are grateful he has a place since we are from OOT and they were the only ones who had room for us, however, the school is not really our hashkafa and it’s painful for us that he’s there. The schools that are more for our family claim to be full.

amother

Tanzanite

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 8:42 am

I know a child who was not in school for a while because their school that their other children went to was firm that all kids must go to that school, and if a child wants to switch to another school all their other boys have to go to that other school. The other school did not have space for this child and in the end finally last week he got into a school that had a slot left.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 9:16 am

amother OP wrote:

In every community there are kids not in school. What are some of the reasons?

Definitely NOT in every community. I have only ever heard of this issue here on imamother, never in real life.

amother

Azure

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 9:26 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Definitely NOT in every community. I have only ever heard of this issue here on imamother, never in real life.

You must not talk to many people. I know families who have moved to a community because they couldn't find a school to take their child where they lived. I had this experience. I couldn't move to a community because the only frum school wouldn't take my child. They saw an iep (which often exaggerates issues) and decided they couldn't handle her. Yes, she has adhd but she could have functioned in their school. Probably been a C or D student but it's not like she was attacking everyone or throwing things. In my neighborhood there are a few families who left communities because their child had needs that "couldn't be met". Someone from NYC left because they couldn't find a high school that would take their child.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 9:28 am

amother Azure wrote:

You must not talk to many people. I know families who have moved to a community because they couldn't find a school to take their child where they lived. I had this experience. I couldn't move to a community because the only frum schoo
l wouldn't take my child. They saw an iep (which often exaggerates issues) and decided they couldn't handle her. Yes, she has adhd but she could have functioned in their school. Probably been a C or D student but it's not like she was attacking everyone or throwing things. In my neighborhood there are a few families who left communities because their child had needs that "couldn't be met". Someone from NYC left because they couldn't find a high school that would take their child.

Im not in the tri state area. Im not in america. Im in israel, in the dat leumi school system. And I have never heard of this ever.
ETA: In terms of not talling to anyone, this is a problem in certain places and communities. So if I dont live in those places or communities, its a non issue.

Last edited by shabbatiscoming on Sun, Nov 27 2022, 10:35 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Smokey

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 10:05 am

I wasn’t accepted to a high school until two days before ninth grade started and it broke me. The humiliation of being asked what school I’d be going to and not having an answer was so great. I still feel like an outsider in the frum community and my self esteem is not a great place.

It’s a huge problem that rabbanim should be spending all day trying to fix, not thinking about lacetop wigs. I daven for all kids to be accepted to the right school for them on time every day. It is sakanas nefashos.

amother

Mauve

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 11:09 am

[quote="amother OP"]I just want to say this. I also thought my community didn't have this problem. You don't know unless it's a tiny community and you know everybody.[/quot

I really don't know what you mean. As I said, I'm in Ohio, none of our three frum communities (Cincinnati Cleveland Columbus) are particularly huge.

Yes, where I live there are kids in public school because the frum school is not and/or cannot cater to their academic needs.

Is that what you call not in school?

No one in my neighborhood has a kid sitting at home.

Oh. Except for the kid that the school allowed to be there for kodesh but not for chol. I assume s/he gets private tutoring in the afternoon (because s/he needs it!!!) and doesn't just hang out at home.

Are these examples what you're referring to?

Or, OP, Do you mean kids are hanging out at home all day???

amother

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 11:15 am

[quote="amother Mauve"]

amother OP wrote:

I just want to say this. I also thought my community didn't have this problem. You don't know unless it's a tiny community and you know everybody.[/quot

I really don't know what you mean. As I said, I'm in Ohio, none of our three frum communities (Cincinnati Cleveland Columbus) are particularly huge.

Yes, where I live there are kids in public school because the frum school is not and/or cannot cater to their academic needs.

Is that what you call not in school?

No one in my neighborhood has a kid sitting at home.

Oh. Except for the kid that the school allowed to be there for kodesh but not for chol. I assume s/he gets private tutoring in the afternoon (because s/he needs it!!!) and doesn't just hang out at home.

Are these examples what you're referring to?

Or, OP, Do you mean kids are hanging out at home all day???

The latter. And in not blaming the schools. I see a lot of ppl here getting defensive. In fact I'm not blaming the schools or the parents or the askanim. I'm assuming each case is it's own little story and I'm wondering what would make this so.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 1:00 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Here’s the thing. In smaller communities, it might not be an issue with acceptance, but they wouldn’t be able to service my child the way they can in NY/NJ. Plenty of people move in town to get those services and then are stuck, because school acceptances are what they are.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 1:40 pm

amother Burlywood wrote:

Not sure how your reply has anything to do with my post you are replying to.

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 1:45 pm

We had to leave our school due to bullying from a few members in our community. (bullying of our family in general, although some children were also bullied in school, one was physically abused by a teacher, the school was a disaster, losing teachers right, left and centre but we tried to stick it out as it was a good hashkofic fit, the price was right due to staff discounts, etc)
Some children found places in a homeschooling group. Others were grudgingly taken in by main school in town for their gender after months of testing, interviews, no communication from the school, etc. One was out for a year. The rest were out for many months. We are one of those run of the mill "that would never happen to us" type families. But it did.

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