Would you buy an airsoft gun?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 6:37 pm

My son (16) is obsessed with airsoft guns. Would you buy one for your son? Why or why not? I hate guns but he is not me and this is important to him. His friends have them and he wants to be included in their games.
Brooklyn NY if it matters. He promises to only use it upstate.
He's not the obedient type, if I say no he might just buy one himself and hide it.

amother

Daylily

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 6:50 pm

yes

amother

Narcissus

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 7:01 pm

My son has a paintball gun - he bought it when he was about 14. He bought it second hand from his friend. It's pretty costly to use on a regular basis so he only uses it on occasion. We have clear ruler when and where he could use it.

amother

Dandelion

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 7:04 pm

What are they used for?

amother

Bluebonnet

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 7:06 pm

No. We don't allow guns, real or fake, in our home.

amother

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 7:10 pm

Does owning such a thing open the door to owning real guns? Or is it hopeless, he's been obsessed with weapons since he was 5 even though I never allowed gun play at home.
He says he's going to buy a real weapon once he's old enough.

BrisketBoss

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 7:16 pm

He can buy it with his own money if it offends your values so much. You said yourself he would buy it, so let him. Don't forbid it.

amother

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 7:24 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

He can buy it with his own money if it offends your values so much. You said yourself he would buy it, so let him. Don't forbid it.

Children do not have permission to buy things their parents disallow even with their own money.

BrisketBoss

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 7:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

Children do not have permission to buy things their parents disallow even with their own money.

I'm confused. You asked us if you yourself should buy him the thing you disagree with. You think that is a viable option, but telling him you won't stop him from buying it for himself is not?

amother

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 7:43 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

I'm confused. You asked us if you yourself should buy him the thing you disagree with. You think that is a viable option, but telling him you won't stop him from buying it for himself is not?

The issue isnt who will buy it. It's whether or not it should be allowed altogether.

Elfrida

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 7:45 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

I'm confused. You asked us if you yourself should buy him the thing you disagree with. You think that is a viable option, but telling him you won't stop him from buying it for himself is not?

The OP's opinion is that he would need permission to buy it for himself. She is also aware that her son does not necessarily share that opinion, and might just buy one and hide it. (Or may already have done so.)

If you buy it, you are still in control, and get to make rules about use. If he buys it against your wishes and in secret, you've lost.

If it's an expensive item, it would be reasonable to expect him to pay half.

amother

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 8:18 pm

Elfrida wrote:

Thank you.
My son is a good kid. He wants our approval and permission. If I push him too far though he will eventually buy one on his own.

I told him that I understand he likes things that I don't like because hes his own person and I respect his individuality. I told him that I would like to research a bit first before saying yes or no so that I'm not answering from ignorance.

Hence my question. Is it normal for parents to allow these things?

amother

Daylily

Sun, Nov 27 2022, 8:19 pm

Yes

BrisketBoss

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 9:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

Hence my question. Is it normal for parents to allow these things?

Normal for what parents, I guess? I know frum parents who own real guns and let their big kids shoot them. You clearly would not do that.

amother

Forsythia

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 9:11 pm

I would make him pay for half of it and set rules. I hate toy guns but if all his friends have one he'll likely play anyway so might as well not get him in the habit of buying things behind your back.

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