How often do you go away for Shabbos?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

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How many Shabbosim per year do you go away?

0-2

52%

[ 119 ]

3-6

25%

[ 58 ]

7-11

13%

[ 30 ]

12-23 (at least once a month)

[ 12 ]

24+ (at least twice a month)

[ 7 ]

Total Votes : 226

amother

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 2:43 pm

In the course of a year, how many times do you go away for an entire Shabbos - whether to your parents, in-laws, siblings, friends, vacation, hotel program, simcha, etc.?

DH is a baal teshuvah with no frum relatives, and my parents are not well and almost never up for hosting. I have one relative we were very close with and used to go to frequently, but they made aliyah. We do go away for a couple weeks in the summer, but these days that's about it.

I also realize that as families get larger it's harder for hosts to have enough room for everyone, so if your answer has changed over time feel free to include that as well.

amother

Clear

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 2:44 pm

Maybe 4 times in the 13 years we are married.

amother

Burntblack

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 2:53 pm

For a random shabbos, never. We do go upstate for the summer but it's our own place, we are not guests there.

Shabbos meals hosting and being hosted we do alot. I live in a young community with an eiruv and shabbos is basically my time to have a social life.

amother

Aqua

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 2:53 pm

We usually go away for pesach and about twice a year to my in-laws. With 5 kids, I find it much easier to host my parents and in-laws.
Mid-winter and shabbos chanukah we try to do something fun for the kids. Sometimes orlando, local hotel or host others.

gootlfriends

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 2:55 pm

Yom tov, shabbos chanukah. If there is a family Simcha over shabbos. It's so much easier to be home. Packing is hard. Sleeping away from home is hard. Kids do better at home.

amother

SandyBrown

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 2:56 pm

Maybe once in 4 years we go away for shabbos. Never for yomtov.
No family within driving distance and flights are very expensive for us.
But we host maybe twice a year when family flies into us.
Its hard to always be the one making every yomtov, especially Pesach. And its hard when everyone around you is going away often...

amother

Begonia

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 2:57 pm

I wrote 0-2. We usually go away once a year to a remote place and usually over Shabbos. We take along everything with us. We've also been on a number of Shabbatonim as part of my job and several others because of my husband's job.

Chayalle

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 3:03 pm

I wrote 0-2. Truth is, DH and I are homebodies, we like being home. Our girls seem to have inherited that from us. We do go away once in a while for a family Simcha. Also my SIL loves to invite us for a Shabbos in the summer, and we usually go, as it's nice to spend time with family and there's no other way we get that in really.

Some of this may have come from the fact that we hardly went away from day 1. For both DH and me, about 2-3 years after we got married our mothers A"H were ill, and we hosted more than we were hosted.....and we were never big goers. We learned to enjoy our time as a family, and at home. We have had times were our siblings have invited us for YT and we declined - part of DH's Simchas YT is to be home with his shul, his Rav, his own Succah/Seder, etc...and it's a joy I wholeheartedly give him.

amother

Magnolia

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 3:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

I put 3-6, but it’s really more like 0-6. We go to my in laws every shabbos chanuka. We usually spend a shabbos away in the summer and a shabbos away in the winter, but not always.
We definitely go away less and less for fun frequently as the kids get older. We still do shabbos chanuka if my in laws want to, but we don’t usually go away just to be with friends anymore. It’s just too hard at this point. However, we ARE bh going away for simchas- auf ruf, shabbos sheva brachos, etc. of nieces and nephews….

amother

Antiquewhite

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 3:22 pm

As a young family, maybe twice a year, once to our best friends OOT and once to my inlaws--we'd go to them for two weeks during the kids' summer vacation as they lived over 1000 miles away and going for just a Shabbos wasn't practical.

As empty nesters with two children living a reasonable driving distance away, we went away maybe once every two months, to one child or the other. Our OOT friends stopped inviting us for Shabbos a good number of years ago. One of our children is currently unable to host anyone and the other now lives about 1000 miles away, so we don't expect to be going there more than 1-2 times a year.

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 5:58 pm

I wrote 7-11

I have five kids with the oldest 13. We go randomly for Shabbos about two times a year to my parents and two times to my in-laws. (This does not include YT). Once during the summer we go to my in-laws' bungalow upstate. Then we have a family Shabbos at a hotel. Plus two-three times a year when a niece/nephew get married and we're invited for Shabbos aufruf or Shabbos sheva brachos but that's without the kids usually. Randomly we'll rent a house for Shabbos together with another couple in the Poconos or someplace else not too far.

amother

Pansy

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 6:05 pm

My husbands siblings (8) live in Lakewood and we get invited by one or another sibling probably 2 times a year.
We have been to my in laws overseas 3 times in 12 years of marriage.
We have gone to friends when we had one or two kids but the last time we went to a friend was 3 years ago.

We host a lot though.

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 6:06 pm

I'm not sure how you count YT/ extended trips. We generally go to my parents every other month for a shabbos (except we skip winter because I don't have travel time Friday, so they come to me instead- so march, may, July, Sept, maybe nov) plus RH, a week and a half pesach time, and often succos and/ or shavuos.

sunshine23

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 6:11 pm

We try to go to in-laws once a month. 3 kids oldest is 3

rainbow dash

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 6:37 pm

Never. I have no family. Closet is in Israel and Australia. Dh mother we go maybe 4 times a year for a meal and she lives in the apartment under us. Dh has family in London so there is a bm coming up in June so we r planning to go for shabbos.

amother

Chicory

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 6:48 pm

The more kids the less we go
The more kids the more we stay home

amother

Burgundy

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 6:57 pm

Married 8 years, 2 kids. Lots of local family (not walking distance). It's not consistent. Sometimes we're away several weeks in a row and sometimes we're home several weeks in a row. On average, once or twice a month. When we're home, we're usually hosting.

amother

Springgreen

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 6:59 pm

I voted 3-6, but it’s probably more like 7-11
We go to my parents about 3 times a year, and for pesach and sukkos. We also go to siblings about twice a year maybe, and there are usually about 3-4 simchas a year from my nieces and nephews, between bar mitzvas, aufrufs, shabbos sheva brachos, etc. we also go away for midwinter, usually to Orlando or something.

However, I would always rather host than be hosted, which we do more shabboses than not.

amother

Honeysuckle

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 7:26 pm

I assume that for me it will depend on my stage in life. Right now I'm young and live in a small apartment with 3 kids. Im also one of the few married grandchildren so I get invited to Simchas along with my parents. Once in a blue moon my parents (+9 single kids) will stay somewhere nearby and come to us. My in-laws will also do that maybe 2x a year. We end up going away a lot. For sure Sukkos and Pesach (though in my circles it's practically unheard of to stay home unless parents live here). Then between going to our grandparents, parents, and away for cousins Bar Mitzvahs or other Simchas, I'd say we are away about 2x every 6-7 weeks.

amother

Moonstone

Mon, Nov 28 2022, 7:28 pm

Also a BT and an only child. Dont have any aunts or uncles either and Only have my parents here...it sucks and its lonely.
Dh family are all in England.
We visit my in laws once a year during the summer.
My parents we go to maybe once a month.

Our family is still quite transient we have 1 baby

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