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Dying White part

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 3:47 pm
please no bashing. I am not attacking anyone for doing differently, just asking a question for myself.

I have always had my shaitel's white part dyed (I think it's with tea, but I could be wrong since I am not the one who does it.) I got my first shaitel over 20 years ago and when the white parts came in, the rabbanim said to dye them so that it is not mistaken as my own scalp. I have been doing so ever since and am comfortable and fine with it. (I know this is so "old news" since lace tops.) Over the years I have seen more and more people in my community (Yeshivish America) wearing white parts, but my sisters in E"Y said that in her circles most still dye theirs.

Did any big American rabbanim come out and say that it is OK but not in E'Y? Why the change? I feel very much like I shouldn't lower my own personal standards that I have had all these years just because people around me have changed. Am I missing something?
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amother




Rose
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 3:57 pm
Wow youre doing a really good thing.

I totally get where youre coming from.
Wigs have got so much more and more natural that I find people dont blink an eyelid anymore at the white parting.

I remember years ago my mother mentioning something about not having a white parting but I dont know what she did about it.

I know not what you wanted to hear but I would really like to know how its possible to dye.
Iv always been told its not possible, because it is net, not hair.
I always want to fill mine in a bit more so not to look so sparse.
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amother




Darkblue
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 4:51 pm
I can't tell you about what the rabbanim say, but I can tell you my own personal experience.

When I got married over 10 years ago, I decided to dye the part. I read about it in Rav Falk's sefer and decided it was something I wanted to do. (I had the sheitel macher dye it by the way, when she was doing some coloring to my sheitel)

When I got new sheitels a number of years after I was married, I did not end up dying the part. For better or for worse, the norms in American Yeshivish circles have changed. My new sheitels were also slightly longer than my old sheitels (a few inches below my shoulders, instead of right at my shoulders).

Of course you're welcome to continue dying them, if that's what you feel more comfortable with. My thoughts are that the "point of battle" has changed, and I don't know if rabbanim spend any time talking about white parts these days. Now it's all about lace, and super long lengths. I will say, these days I feel pretty yeshivish in my mid length, skin top sheitel. And I'm fine with that.
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amother




Peony
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 4:56 pm
amother OP wrote:

Did any big American rabbanim come out and say that it is OK but not in E'Y? Why the change? I feel very much like I shouldn't lower my own personal standards that I have had all these years just because people around me have changed. Am I missing something?

I feel the same way.
No, you're not missing something.
The sad truth is, the battles have become bigger, so this is being neglected.
The Rabbanim can't say die the part if we're not even talking about parts anymore- we're talking about lace now!
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HarrietW




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2022, 6:00 pm
A white part was never assur lechatchila in Halacha and every single even chassidish ruv would agree. Tznius also has a daas yehudis component that is very relative.
From the knee and down according to Halacha is not erva, yet it says if a women lives in a community where everyone wears tights/socks and she doesn’t she is considered an ishah pritza.

I think that all of us deep down get it. My mother always said wherever you go always try to be the good person. She didn’t mean a personality transplant. If in that community, what you normally do is considered bad don’t do it.

Today’s day no one will think your not wearing a wig if it has a white part, and even very eidel and chasuv women wear it. That tells you that it is no longer considered unkosher.

The problem with all these things is that the rabbanim don’t clearly say it’s not Halacha, they give a fact without the concept. I still remember when cap sleeves was assur. Today NO ONE would blink. Why? Because being tznius is being eidel and being eidel is relative.
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2022, 11:25 am
Thank you for the relies. Sorry it has taken me so long to read what you wrote, I didn't have a chance to look back until now.
I am happy to hear that I am not the only one. I was actually thinking of the cap sleeve example also. When wearing cap/short sleeves over a shell came into style 10ish years ago, it was a big hock since it is a non jewish shirt that we are trying to Kosherize. After a few years, they became totally fine since it wasn't a new thing. Same with new style glasses, etc.
But, I am just not sure deep down that I think it is really the same thing. I know there is a machlokes on imamother why we cover our hair - to cover or so that others know that we are covering- I don't want to get into this debate. I am personally of the opinion that others should know that we are covering our hair and that our goal is not to make our shaitels as natural as possible. I also do not believe that we need to wear something that looks like horse hair. I have always worn shoulder length (meaning at the highest part of shoulder or shorter) with a dyed part.
But again, I am feeling confused since, as you pointed out, even (many of) the most eidel and chashuv are wearing it a little longer (or a lot in some cases) and with white part.
I do wish that there was more straightforward clarity in this matter. (which is why I like rav falks sefer, but so many poo poo it!) But maybe I am of the few (including some of the responders here) that wishes this.
sorry for rambling....thank you for listening Confused
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