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Is 13 old enough to leave your child alone.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:05 am
…….For a few nights while you are on vacation, to take care of the rest of the household?


And if not, how ca I persuade someone not to do it?
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amother




Trillium
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:07 am
huh??? that doesn't sound normal nor safe. how many younger kids are involved??
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:09 am
NO
And in some states it's illegal and they could end up in hot water.

(It may be legal to leave them alone for a little while, but not to care for others.)
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amother




Trillium
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:10 am
I had to do this when I was 15 and really resented it and it wasn't easy. a big part of it was because I was told, not asked or explained if I'd like to or if I can.

I wouldn't do it to my child at 15 unless I know they are fully on board and I would show major appreciation for it. (can you tell I got no recognition for it Crying

13 sounds really young.


Last edited by amother on Thu, Dec 15 2022, 11:13 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Aqua
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:10 am
No!
Not even overnight if alone !

Tell them it is illegal and nothing is a secret someone would find out a teacher etc mandated reporters and no one wants to deal with cps and the repercussions of having the kids removed from the home !
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amother




Indigo
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:12 am
No. Invite the 13 year old to vacation at your house so they aren't available to babysit.

(I know this likely wouldn't work but I feel so bad for that poor teen.)
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:12 am
Problem is I don’t think the laws are very clear in NY
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amother




Aqua
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:14 am
Plenty of stories of cps getting involved in such a situation
Find some and let her know about them
Or ask your local non emergency police or something
Feel really sorry for this 13 year old and these kids
The parents r majorly in need of appropriate help and kind effective intervention
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:15 am
I have a 12 year old who likes being home alone when I have errands to do he hates lol. I trust him to be responsible for himself and sometimes younger kids when I am in the immediate area and can get back quickly.

BUT He would be terrified to be left alone over night. Would straight up refuse. I cant believe he would be the only one.

Also this kind of situation is basically asking for CPS to get involved and you realllllly dont want that.
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amother




Hosta
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:16 am
Most 13 year Olds cannot handle that level of responsibility. A few hours, fine, a few days, no. I actually know a family (one of the kids is friends with one of mine) where the parents went away for a week and left the 14 year old in charge of 4 younger siblings. It actually went OK the first few days, but then there was a huge storm, power went out, the kids went to a neighbor for help, neighbor called CPS. It was an unpleasant time for the family, to say the least.
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:18 am
amother OP wrote:
…….For a few nights while you are on vacation, to take care of the rest of the household?
And if not, how can I persuade someone not to do it?

I can't imagine anyone deciding they'd rather take this risk if they had better options.

Can you help provide better options? Know any young adults who would be willing to stay with them? Help with the finances of that?
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amother




Aqua
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:19 am
Right
Or a snow day
Or someone gets hurt or sick…
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amother




Aqua
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:19 am
Op is it your husband who think this would be ok? And pressuring you to do it?
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:19 am
No way! That is unsafe!! My parents left me in charge when I was 17 BUT the 2 youngest were sent to a babysitter. So it was basically only elementary aged and older. And my mom left dinner for all nights. And our grandparents lived at the next corner.
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amother




Indigo
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:22 am
amother OP wrote:
Problem is I don’t think the laws are very clear in NY


Here is the law.

https://www.nysenate.gov/legis.....60.10
SECTION 260.10
Endangering the welfare of a child
Penal (PEN) CHAPTER 40, PART 3, TITLE O, ARTICLE 260
§ 260.10 Endangering the welfare of a child.

A person is guilty of endangering the welfare of a child when:

1. He or she knowingly acts in a manner likely to be injurious to the
physical, mental or moral welfare of a child less than seventeen years
old or directs or authorizes such child to engage in an occupation
involving a substantial risk of danger to his or her life or health; or

2. Being a parent, guardian or other person legally charged with the
care or custody of a child less than eighteen years old, he or she fails
or refuses to exercise reasonable diligence in the control of such child
to prevent him or her from becoming an "abused child," a "neglected
child," a "juvenile delinquent" or a "person in need of supervision," as
those terms are defined in articles ten, three and seven of the family
court act.

3. A person is not guilty of the provisions of this section when he or
she engages in the conduct described in subdivision one of section
260.00 of this article: (a) with the intent to wholly abandon the child
by relinquishing responsibility for and right to the care and custody of
such child; (b) with the intent that the child be safe from physical
injury and cared for in an appropriate manner; (c) the child is left
with an appropriate person, or in a suitable location and the person who
leaves the child promptly notifies an appropriate person of the child's
location; and (d) the child is not more than thirty days old.

Endangering the welfare of a child is a class A misdemeanor.
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amother




Rose
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:22 am
imasinger wrote:
I can't imagine anyone deciding they'd rather take this risk if they had better options.

Can you help provide better options? Know any young adults who would be willing to stay with them? Help with the finances of that?

They're going on vacation, not traveling for a heart transplant. So they do have a better option, staying home.

That being said, I agree with your suggestions of finding or hiring them an appropriate adult babysitter and paying for it, if you think they'd be willing to accept that from you.
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:23 am
amother OP wrote:
Problem is I don’t think the laws are very clear in NY


I believe in NY the law is a 13 year old can watch themselves, but not others.

I have a sibling who lives in NY. When her daughter was 11-12, she (daughter) liked to sleep in on Sunday mornings. My sibling had to do carpool for her boys. One day, a (nosy, annoying) neighbor told her "I see you're going to drive your boys now...whose watching your daughter?" Sibling said she is sleeping in, and neighbor threatened to call CPS on her!

Sibling had to wake daughter up and shlep her along on the carpool run. IIRC at 13 she could let her sleep in, because she was legally old enough to watch herself.

And while I think that's a bit over the top.....my point is, 13 year old can watch herself, but cannot be left to watch others.
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amother




Aqua
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:46 am
And not allowed to leave 13 alone overnight
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amother




Clear
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:48 am
In the U.K. you cannot leave a child alone overnight under the age of 16. Seems like a sensible rule as it would mean a 13-year old babysitting younger siblings wouldn’t be permitted.

Personally I have an 18-year old that I would never leave alone overnight let alone in charge of their younger siblings.
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amother




Clear
 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:49 am
Chayalle wrote:
I believe in NY the law is a 13 year old can watch themselves, but not others.

I have a sibling who lives in NY. When her daughter was 11-12, she (daughter) liked to sleep in on Sunday mornings. My sibling had to do carpool for her boys. One day, a (nosy, annoying) neighbor told her "I see you're going to drive your boys now...whose watching your daughter?" Sibling said she is sleeping in, and neighbor threatened to call CPS on her!

Sibling had to wake daughter up and shlep her along on the carpool run. IIRC at 13 she could let her sleep in, because she was legally old enough to watch herself.

And while I think that's a bit over the top.....my point is, 13 year old can watch herself, but cannot be left to watch others.

This is ridiculous. Leaving a 13-year old alone for a short while so a parent can do errands is much different to leaving the same-aged kid in charge of siblings while parents go away!
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