Is 13 old enough to leave your child alone.

amother

Grape

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 11:53 am

My mom went on vacation when I was 16 and the only child still at home and she still had someone over 18 come stay with me for overnights. 13 is fine for a few hours, definitely not overnight, and absolutely not if there’s younger kids to take care of. How is everyone getting to school? What if someone misses the bus? Who’s cooking supper, packing lunches, etc? What happens in case of emergency?

This is absolute neglect

amother

Snapdragon

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 12:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

…….For a few nights while you are on vacation, to take care of the rest of the household?

And if not, how ca I persuade someone not to do it?

No.

Not even if the 13 year old is exceptionally mature and responsible.

Even if you could somehow be assured that everyone would be 100% safe -- which of course you cannot, and that is the biggest issue -- it is such an unfair burden to put upon a child.

What a terrible idea.

You want to persuade someone not to do this? If clear logic fails threaten them with a call to child protective services. I know this is not the sort of thing we want to say to a friend, neighbor, or relative, but if you actually care about those kids....

amother

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 12:41 pm

A friend told me she can’t wait for her daughter to turn 13 so she can leaver her home alone with the kids while she vacations.
Said child is a drop younger, so I’m hoping she herself will realize it’s wrong when she gets to that age, because now she kept saying you do you, and I’ll do me to all my arguments.
As if it’s an opinion that it’s unsafe and not a fact.

Chaya123

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 1:02 pm

amother Banana wrote:

I dont even let my 13 year old babysit ! What if someone chokes?what if a fire happens...kids shouldn't be responsible...and yes people have called me a crazy protective person

Always better to be crazy protective than negligent.

amother

Charcoal

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 1:12 pm

Quote:

I had to do this when I was 15 and really resented it and it wasn't easy. a big part of it was because I was told, not asked or explained if I'd like to or if I can.

I wouldn't do it to my child at 15 unless I know they are fully on board and I would show major appreciation for it. (can you tell I got no recognition for it

13 sounds really young.

Me too.
I didnt resent it because of the responsibility , I resented it because I actually missed out on simchas and events because If I didnt babysit there was no way my parents would have been able to go.
I have a special needs older sibling.

It was totally justified in my mind, and where people would comment I sort of expected ppl to understand that I was the good one helping my parents out.

Would definitely leave a 13yo for errands etc but overnight I think its far too scary.

Quote:

In the U.K. you cannot leave a child alone overnight under the age of 16. Seems like a sensible rule as it would mean a 13-year old babysitting younger siblings wouldn’t be permitted.

Is this the law??
And is there any law about during the day??

Side point, is there any way ever to leave a sibling babysitting at night where they, and everyone else is sleeping?
Not appropriate for me yet, as my oldest is 10, but sometimes when the house is quiet, I wonder what Id do when shes a bit older, if I could nip out with my husband.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 1:23 pm

Chayalle wrote:

NO
And in some states it's illegal and they could end up in hot water.

(It may be legal to leave them alone for a little while, but not to care for others.)

13 is old enough to legally babysit in many (maybe even most) states. ETA: For daytime, at least.
But this situation is def. a big NO.

I would not ask a 13 yr old to babysit overnight let alone be put in charge for days. Yikes.

amother

Charcoal

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 1:25 pm

Thanks.

Im asking because as my child gets older , will be too old for a babysitter, there will be times I have to go out late nights weddings etc how does it work?

Child wont want a babysitter because shes too old but there will be still times I have to go out.
What do people do?

amother

Orchid

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 1:25 pm

amother Banana wrote:

I dont even let my 13 year old babysit ! What if someone chokes?what if a fire happens...kids shouldn't be responsible...and yes people have called me a crazy protective person

I babysat from the age of 10. It was legal where I lived. I took training and was certified in CPR for all ages. Training also included handling emergency situations.

amother

Copper

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 1:29 pm

amother Lightcyan wrote:

My sisters in law leave their 10 year olds to babysit at night while they go to simchas. Rolling Eyes

My mother used to do this to me. I used to sit at the window crying, and when they'd pull up in the driveway, I'd scoot into bed and pretend to be asleep. I was so scared being home at night at that age, with no adult.

Chayalle

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 1:30 pm

amother Charcoal wrote:

I've gotten a sitter who isn't a babysitter. Like I remember when my DD had a camp interview and my next DD was running a fever and couldn't come along for the trip....I think she was in upper elementary then, I hired one of bigger DD's friends to come keep her company (she kept her distance, so she wouldn't get sick, but sat in the house) till I got home.

giftedmom

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 1:31 pm

amother Clear wrote:

In the U.K. you cannot leave a child alone overnight under the age of 16. Seems like a sensible rule as it would mean a 13-year old babysitting younger siblings wouldn’t be permitted.

Personally I have an 18-year old that I would never leave alone overnight let alone in charge of their younger siblings.

Uh, some people get married at 18

amother

Orchid

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 1:31 pm

amother Aqua wrote:

No- babysitter should be awake
I babysat a lot and didn’t go to bed until parents came home

For overnight babysitting? I would expect an overnight babysitter to sleep at night. Especially if watching kids for multiple days.

Chayalle

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 1:33 pm

amother Aqua wrote:

No- babysitter should be awake
I babysat a lot and didn’t go to bed until parents came home

I babysat as a teen, and I often dozed on the couch. The parents didn't mind. I was a light sleeper and would wake up if I heard one of the kids....I mean, I sleep as a parent too.....

amother

DarkCyan

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 1:35 pm

My DDs each took the Red Cross Babysitting class when they turned 11 (now 12 & 16). I still wouldn’t leave them alone overnight now. I will leave them for longer stretches in the evening than I used to, and I have no prob if they’re home alone (or together) during the day, but overnight is not happening!

My friend was planning to leave her (very mature & responsible) 13 & 11 yr olds in charge if she needed to go in to deliver (#6) in the middle of the night (until then, I had babysat each time). A few weeks before she was due, one of her littler ones threw up in the middle of the night. The next morning she called me and asked me to be ready to come. She realized that it just didn’t make sense to leave them. Two years later, for #7, she did leave her then 15 & 13 yr olds but she called me when she left and the girls knew I was available if they needed anything (I lived around the corner).