Is 13 old enough to leave your child alone.

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Broom

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 2:51 pm

watergirl wrote:

It's still not ok if the oldest in charge is 15. It's still illegal and it's still neglect.

Exactly.

As you see I wrote.

amother

Wandflower

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 6:00 pm

My oldest is 14 and very mature and responsible and yet I would never leave her to babysit younger siblings overnight! We don't even ask her to give her siblings dinner and put them to bed when we have to go out. Usually we ask grandparents to babysit and they can leave once the younger kids are asleep and the 14 year old is comfortable babysitting until we come home.

How is a 13 year old supposed to wake herself up and get herself and her siblings dressed and fed and to school on time with all their stuff? I can barely do that as a mom! A 13 year old is likely on a different schedule than younger siblings anyways, with a longer school day, so how is that supposed to work? Then she's supposed to make them do their homework, feed them dinner, supervise bath time, and get everyone to bed on top of doing her own homework? Is she supposed to cook and clean and do laundry too? Most adults have a hard enough time juggling all that! No child should ever be put in that position.

amother

Mimosa

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 6:15 pm

CPS is a real threat. What if the fire alarm goes off? And the fire department gets called? Or someone hurts themselves? Either way CPS will open a case. I can assure you, she does not want that happening.

notshanarishona

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 6:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

…….For a few nights while you are on vacation, to take care of the rest of the household?

And if not, how ca I persuade someone not to do it?

Tell them they can lose their children. And personally I would ask a shayla and see if you can report them, someone that irresponsible should lose their kids.

amother

NeonYellow

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 7:55 pm

My parents went away and left me in charge of the house for about a week when I was 17. I invited a friend (15 yo) to "parent" with me, and we were in charge of a 13 year old, 9 year old and 4 year old.
We had a ton of fun and were totally capable.
13 year old being in charge is way too young, though. A thirteen year old can babysit her sleeping siblings while the mother goes to a simchah at night, in the same city so she's only a phone call away. Nothing more than that.

amother

Orange

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 8:03 pm

I babysat my siblings for a few nights a few weeks before I was 16.
I don't remember how many were with me.It was summer. They were enrolled in daycamp. I came home from camp for this.

I remember cooking supper. Either then or at another time when I was in charge. I'm not even resentful. We were upstate. My parents went home to work. It was probably 2 nights.

amother

Jean

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 8:04 pm

amother NeonYellow wrote:

When I was 17 my parents and my friends parents went away the same week and we decided that I should move into her house for the week and the two of us should take care of her 2 preteen siblings. This was 2 almost adults with licenses and the youngest kid was 10. In general I wouldn't leave a house without someone above 18 overnight.

behappy2

Wed, Nov 30 2022, 8:14 pm

I would download the laws in her state and mail it to her.

amother

DarkKhaki

Thu, Dec 01 2022, 2:03 am

We left our kids at home for 24 hrs, last year, for a quick getaway, a day and a night
- aged 20, 19, 16, 14, 11.
Left them lunch and dinner.
Left them sandwiches for school too (some had school, some were still on vacation it was a few days after Pesach. )

And I was still nervous...

amother

Lightcyan

Thu, Dec 01 2022, 9:52 am

These kind of ppl don't take anything seriously. they just laugh at you and say you're being such a scaredy cat and over protective and then if something ch'v happens, they scream anti semitism or who knows what.

amother

Thu, Dec 01 2022, 10:11 am

So not a single amother agrees this is normal, or would do this! That’s comforting.
Unless they’re too scared to post.

amother

Aqua

Thu, Dec 01 2022, 10:14 am

You can rest assured to leave overnight with a 13 year old in charge 😳is pretty much a non starter for vast majority
#answering for a friend

amother

Bergamot

Thu, Dec 01 2022, 10:30 am

When I was fourteen and my older sister was sixteen my parents had to travel overseas for a few days. They wanted us and our younger siblings to go to our grandparents. We absolutely refused. We wanted to just stay home and that's it. We argued about it for weeks until my parents finally agreed to let us stay home. They left us money for groceries plus extras to deal with any emergencies that might come up. We actually did have to call a plumber while they were gone but it was not a big deal at all. The plumber came, took care of the issue, we paid him and that was it. We both knew how to cook and did takeout for one night because why not. It was not a big deal at all. I think people don't realize that their kids can handle more responsibility. Thirteen is too young but if the teen is fine with it sixteen is totally fine.

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