Vent: there is no such thing as a PART TIME MOTHER!!!!

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:00 am

I hate the expression full time mother that I see around. Like a mother who works is only a part time mother.
No. She's a full time mother who's squeezing everything into less the time.

BH Yom Yom

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:02 am

Agreed!

amother

DarkRed

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:03 am

I agree and disagree at the same time. Of course we're full time mom's, a mom is a mom. But I don't agree that we squeeze everything in and that everything gets done.

amother

IndianRed

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:12 am

amother DarkRed wrote:

I agree and disagree at the same time. Of course we're full time mom's, a mom is a mom. But I don't agree that we squeeze everything in and that everything gets done.

I beg to differ. Where my “full time mother” friends go out to coffee and lunch while their kids are in school, I go to work. They go to bed at 9/10 because there’s nothing to do and I go to bed at 1 and wake up and 6 to get everything done before/ after the kids are sleeping.
If that’s not full time mothering than I don’t know what is …

amother

Rainbow

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:13 am

I feel you but I wish I were a full time mother
with my full time dedicated to my duties as wife and mother and person
instead of taking a huge chunk out of my day to focus on earning money

amother

DarkRed

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:15 am

amother IndianRed wrote:

I disagree with this as well, because I was on both sides of the coin. When I was a SAHM, I never went out for lunch. Or to bed early. There was always so much to do. I had babies/kids home with me, couldn't get anything done around the house, so everything got done when they were asleep. When I'm working, I have my lunch break to be able to go out to eat. For me, (and I think for many others as well), many things fall to the side as a working mother and it's eating me up. The fact that my kids need to go to daycare and can't be home with me, is literally tearing my heart to shreds.

Sewsew_mom

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:29 am

I've never heard this term before.
But as a sahm I don't find time to just hang with my friends..
The work load is huge.
Maybe we have different work/home priorities, but I'm in no way shape or form just chilling with friends and going to sleep early cus I can't find anything to do.
Beyond rediculous.
Come visit my life for 2 days.. (I love my life and the choices I've made.. But this judgment is so shallow)

happyone

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:29 am

Yes!!!! Working moms still have all the home responsibilities SAHM have.

amother

Narcissus

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:33 am

amother DarkRed wrote:

I agree and disagree at the same time. Of course we're full time mom's, a mom is a mom. But I don't agree that we squeeze everything in and that everything gets done.

Everything that is important gets done. I may not have matching wardrobes for my kids because that isn't important. My home may not have up to date decor.
But everything that is actually necessary somehow gets done. Except sleep.

amother

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:39 am

amother Narcissus wrote:

Exactly.
I still take my kids to eye Dr, dentist, Dr, orthodontist appointments, just on Sunday or 7am or 6pm.
I go to PTA, do laundry, cook, make lunches, clean, do playdates, drive carpools, make Shabbos, do the bank and dry cleaners and returns, get up in middle of the night with nursing babies, and preschoolers with bad dreams, take my teenagers shopping.
I just do it from 6am-9 am, and from 4pm-midnight.

pinkpanther

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:40 am

I think a mother is a mother and doesn't need to be defined by working in the house, out of the house, full time job or part time job. If someone called me a part time mom bec I work ft, it's offensive and it's just as offensive for those who stay home to be thought of as having coffee dates every day.
No need to bring any mom down bec we all make the decisions that work for us and our family.

Chickensoupprof

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:42 am

Yep and fathers are NOT babysitting their children they are fathering their children as a father is supposed to do.

amother

DarkRed

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:42 am

amother Narcissus wrote:

Yes and no. You think a SAHM means matching outfits and up to date decor. That's a very narrow minded way of thinking. Most of the time, the kids end up paying the price if their mom is working. Even if we like to tell ourselves that it doesn't effect them.

pinkpanther

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 10:43 am

Chickensoupprof wrote:

Yep and fathers are NOT babysitting their children they are fathering their children as a father is supposed to do.

Yesss!!! This too

amother

Hosta

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 11:19 am

I think "full time" refers to the childcare that is done during working hours. Working mothers aren't there for hands-on care at that time.

amother

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 11:27 am

amother Hosta wrote:

I think "full time" refers to the childcare that is done during working hours. Working mothers aren't there for hands-on care at that time.

And when the youngest turns 5 and has to go to school?
Because I hear this full time mother business talking about mothers with all their children in school.

iammom

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 11:30 am

amother Hosta wrote:

I think "full time" refers to the childcare that is done during working hours. Working mothers aren't there for hands-on care at that time.

Plenty of stay at home moms don’t have their kids home during the day and aren’t hands-on with them.

SAHM does not equal life of leisure full of salons and coffee shops and cafes. It’s a utopia dream working moms have to feel better about the crazy and hard life they have juggling so much. I’ve been on both sides. The grass is not greener on the other side - each person has to find a way to make their own grass grow strong and green.

shaqued_almond

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 11:30 am

I homeschool my kids and only have cleaning help once a week. Also most my kids are bad sleepers. What are you talking about finishing the day at 9 because there's nothing else to do? More often than not, I go to sleep by 12 and wake up by 6.20.

amother

Salmon

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 11:36 am

I say I’m homemaker
However I’m home with a baby all day every day so ya I am mommying full time

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Dec 05 2022, 11:42 am

I think of it this way. If you're working in someone's home, watching their toddler and maybe some light housework, would you be considered "working"? Is it only work when you get paid for it?

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