S/o Funny mistakes new Olim (or visitors) make

amother

Obsidian

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 4:54 am

salt wrote:

Could start up another whole thread about mistakes in English that Israeli/Anglo kids make - I'm sure there's been such a thread before.

eg. My kids say "your pen fell for you" - instead of "you dropped your pen" (נפל לך...)

Already did:

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....e2b7a

Roots

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 5:19 am

I was crying fro laughter
this is the best thread yet

when my friend was in sem someone stole her friends wristlet
she ran up to a cop and said הם גזלו את הממון. לך! רדוף!
lit it means they stole the money. go. chase them
but ts in talmudic unused torah language and quite funny

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 6:11 am

I went on date in jerusalem, many moons ago..the guy asked the waiter "aifo beit kisei"?
I had literally no clue what he was asking until myself and the waiter realized, after the guy went to the bathroom thats thats what he was asking for. We had a good laugh, the waiter and I.

amother

Magenta

Tue, Dec 13 2022, 10:25 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Ha! When I was in early elementary school (many moons ago!) that's the word our Morah taught us fur bathroom! I'm glad at some point before seminary I learned to use the word shirutim!

amother

Snowdrop

Wed, Dec 14 2022, 4:02 am

My friend was looking for Ahava cosmetics and told the storekeeper:

אני מחפשת אהבה

(I'm looking for love...)
or maybe she said "do you know where I can find ahava..."

My aunt's famous story was about some kids on a summer program, a girl wanted to know if someone was going to the choir (makhela) but she said shower (miklachat)

אתה בא אתי למקלחת?

And I went to Israel several decades after my first visit and asked at the airport where I could buy asimonim (tokens you used for the public phone way back in my youth... which made some people laugh, as then you only used a card. Others who made this mistake found people didn't even know what they were talking about!

Today I wonder if they even have a phone booth remaining, unfortunately it's been too many years since I've been there. )

theoneandonly

Wed, Dec 14 2022, 6:45 am

I was horrified when my boss loudly asked my older single coworker if she had a shadchan until someone explained to me that a shadchan is a stapler...

amother

DarkMagenta

Sun, Jan 08 2023, 11:54 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

I don't think there's any grammar problem or DH should have pointed it out. It's just the double meaning which may people laugh Smile

beitzim is slang for a male part. you basically asked him if he had medum-sized balls, no if he sold meidum eggs

amother

Dill

Mon, Jan 09 2023, 12:25 am

amother Obsidian wrote:

I don't know if the following is true, but I heard it a few times:
A beis Yaakov sem came back from a tiyul and the chayal guard that was with them started walking away leaving his gun behind. One of the girls started shrieking: "chayal shachachta neshika"!!

I saw this in a Jerusalem Post column years ago. A (non-charedi) woman wrote it in as her story, when she was new to the country. A soldier on the bus left his gun behind, and she did call out, "chayal, shachachta neshika!" And as she told the story, the soldier got back on the bus, picked up his gun and gave her a nice big kiss, to the applause of all the passengers.

נשק - literally ammunition, a gun
נשיקה - a kiss

amother

Mocha

Mon, Jan 09 2023, 2:45 am

amother Springgreen wrote:

Spent an absurd amount of time lost in Bayit b
Vegan asking where the “galgalim” was. I kept singing in my head the childhood song “hinie rackevet who mitztovevet Al galgagim choo choo!”
But I sadly couldn’t remember the beginning of the song 🤦‍♀️ only the end part Al galgalim choo choo.
No one had the foggiest clue what I wanted until I met someone and when I said choo choo he direct me to the light rail.

I hope I gave him a good laugh for the day 😂😂

Lol love that song!

And omg being a 1st generation American living in America with All Israeli parents and Grandparents these mistakes are having me rolling out loud at 2:45 in the morning. These are beyond beyond funny.
I do vice versa I’m always correcting my Israeli family’s English. Example: Girl is not spelled grill, and Daughter is not spelled Dora. Lol.