Why do grandparents give chanukah gifts only to the grandkid

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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chanchy123

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 2:21 am

My ILs give a gift to their children (all married couples).
My parents don’t (actually last year they did get us something small and symbolic but I don’t remember getting gifts from my parents when I was an adult although I did continue getting something from my grandparents.
It doesn’t matter to me either way.
I think originally Chanuka gifts/gelt were only intended for children.

amother

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 2:30 am

My ILs give a gift to their children (all married couples).
My parents don’t (actually last year they did get us something small and symbolic but I don’t remember getting gifts from my parents when I was an adult although I did continue getting something from my grandparents.
It doesn’t matter to me either way.

I think originally Chanuka gifts/gelt were only intended for children.

- this is actually an answer!!

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 7:41 am

When my in laws/mom gave gifts for the kids I didnt expect anything...I always chose my kids gift alone so found that they didn't have to think so hard what to get...

This year my mother gave gifts for my kids and before she left she gave me money ....totally didn't expect anything!

Last year my in laws gave chanukah money to my kids and all married neices...it did bother me...its not like a gift that you need to go out of your way. If your giving for married einkelech give for your own kids too

amother

Junglegreen

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 9:47 am

As a kid, we received modest amounts of gelt from grandparents, parents, and aunts and uncles. My mother was not into giving Chanukah gifts. One year I received a mug and cried because my friends were getting dolls (and was subsequently told that was not nice behavior on my part). My mother recounted the joy of receiving a chocolate bar and a quarter (a huge amount) as a child. My in-laws also did not give gifts, but gave us a check before we had children and now give to our kids. I am giving our children checks, but toys for the grandchildren.

Aurora

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 10:14 am

Even if my parents weren't incredibly wonderful and helpful in so many ways, I wouldn't care. In my family, gifts are really just things adults give to children. I'm a grownup now.

amother

Steelblue

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 11:57 am

amother Pumpkin wrote:

So....are you similar age to these nieces?

amother

Fern

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 8:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

I know it's time to grow up, but I can't figure out why all the grandparents give gifts to their grandchildren, or money but not to their own kids/kids-in law
why don't the adult kids deserve gifts anymore?

just wondering/venting....

Maybe they don't see you as kid anymore and it's your kids' turn to get the gift? I mean, maybe they think that only little children get chanukah gifts? If you want gift, tell them, they might not know it matters to you.

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