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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Chanukah
Do you as a woman light the menorah?
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Yes of course |
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16% |
[ 31 ] |
No not usually |
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83% |
[ 152 ] |
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Total Votes : 183 |
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dena613
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Thu, Dec 22 2022, 12:18 am
Wolfsbane wrote: | I lit until I got married; now I would light if DH was going to get home late.
For those who said they have boys light but not girls, I'm curious as to the source.
I get why some families do only one menorah - נר איש וביתו.
And I get why many married women don't light - אשתו כגופו.
But why (single) boys and not (single) girls? |
It’s an inyan of tznius why the girls (over bas mitzvah for sure) don’t light
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amother
Forestgreen
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Thu, Dec 22 2022, 1:25 am
dena613 wrote: | It’s an inyan of tznius why the girls (over bas mitzvah for sure) don’t light |
Even if that were the case, it's only for lighting outdoors. Why not light inside?
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shabbatiscoming
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Thu, Dec 22 2022, 6:04 am
dena613 wrote: | It’s an inyan of tznius why the girls (over bas mitzvah for sure) don’t light |
Please explain what could possibly be not tzanua about lighting a chanukiya.
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amother
Green
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Thu, Dec 22 2022, 6:07 am
shabbatiscoming wrote: | Please explain what could possibly be not tzanua about lighting a chanukiya. |
Because of
כל כבודה בת מלך פנימה
and they used to light the menorah outside.
For many reasons, this is not really relevant nowadays. For example, girls go to school
But it stuck in many homes.
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zaq
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Thu, Dec 22 2022, 9:40 am
Wolfsbane wrote: | Gender is relevant to the question, though. Poll results indicate that most of the women who responded to the poll do not generally light. I would assume that the results on Abafather would be pretty different. (Unless your point is simply grammatical, in which case I don't understand it.) |
Yes, my point is entirely grammatical. OP wants to know if it's common for women to light, because as far as she knows many or most don't. Or do. Doesn't matter. My point is that you don't light " as a woman"--your being a woman is not related to your lighting. You might say " As a woman I don't wear tzitzit" "As a Jewish adult I fast on Yom Kippur"
"As a non believer I don't fast on Yom Kippur". The " as a ________" explains why the "I" is doing ________.
"As a" means "because you are a".
But OP is not asking if you light because you're a woman. She's really asking if you light despite being a woman. Therefore the "as a" does not belong.
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amother
Acacia
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Thu, Dec 22 2022, 9:46 am
I was taught that a married woman and her husband light one menorah between them as they are like one person. Unmarrieds all lights.
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amother
Carnation
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Thu, Dec 22 2022, 9:47 am
amother Green wrote: | Because of
כל כבודה בת מלך פנימה
and they used to light the menorah outside.
For many reasons, this is not really relevant nowadays. For example, girls go to school
But it stuck in many homes. |
We have one outside, but my husband lights it. However, I go out with him when I feel up to it. Uh-oh!
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zaq
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Thu, Dec 22 2022, 10:24 am
amother Green wrote: | Because of
כל כבודה בת מלך פנימה
and they used to light the menorah outside.
For many reasons, this is not really relevant nowadays. For example, girls go to school
But it stuck in many homes. |
I wonder if this is the real reason. I would think it was more an inyan of k'vod hatzibbur, same reason why women don't lein. People might think the men in town aren't learned enough to perform the mitzvah and the women have to do it.
G-d forbid we should be proud that we have learned women who can do these things.
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amother
Razzmatazz
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Thu, Dec 22 2022, 10:34 am
I checked "Yes of course" because I light, but I don't agree with the "of course" part. We go by Rav Soloveitchik's approach that married women light their own, but I understand that many people hold otherwise.
If anyone is interested in the various sources, see here: https://torah.etzion.org.il/en.....anuka
An interesting piece I wasn't previously aware of:
Interestingly, R. Moshe Harari, in his Mikraei Kodesh- Hilkhot Chanuka (addendum 7 pg. 154), cites previously unpublished comments of R. Moshe Feinstein recalling that women in his hometown in Europe did, in fact, light neirot Chanuka, with a berakha, contrary to the impression given by the Mishna Berura. His wife, however, was not accustomed to lighting neirot Chanuka, and R. Feinstein did not impose his customs (including that of women lighting neirot Chanuka) on his wife.
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