PLEASE VOTE: Should we add a Disagree button?

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Forum -> The Social Scene

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Should we add a disagree button or not

Add a Disagree button

63%

[ 163 ]

Remove hug and leave only like

[ 21 ]

Keep hug and like and add a third or fourth button (explain)

11%

[ 30 ]

Don't change anything, only hug and like

10%

[ 27 ]

Remove all buttons

[ 12 ]

Other

[ 5 ]

Total Votes : 258

chanatron1000

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 6:24 pm

amother Honeysuckle wrote:

But often it is the case where someone typed out my exact explanation, so by simply liking hers I'm providing an explanation. Would you really want every poster to type out duplicate explanations?

If liking hers is enough explanation, it's also enough expression of disagreement.

chanatron1000

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 6:25 pm

amother Honeysuckle wrote:

If we wouldn't have these button options, there wouldn't be a normal flow of conversation. The conversations would be interrupted with posts of people agreeing or disagreeing.

People agreeing or disagreeing is part of the conversation, not a disruption.

amother

Honeysuckle

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 6:27 pm

chanatron1000 wrote:

People agreeing or disagreeing is part of the conversation, not a disruption.

Having to scroll through multiple posts of 'I agree with imamother xyz' throughout the entire thread to get to posts with substance in them is a big disruption.

chanatron1000

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 6:28 pm

amother Honeysuckle wrote:

Having to scroll through multiple posts of 'I agree with imamother xyz' throughout the entire thread to get to posts with substance in them is a big disruption.

So people should post more than just "I agree" or "I disagree," just like they should do more than click a button.

amother

Honeysuckle

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 6:31 pm

chanatron1000 wrote:

So people should post more than just "I agree" or "I disagree," just like they should do more than click a button.

That doesn't change up things. So now we'll have multiple posts saying the same things in just different words - "I agree that MILs aren't expected to give birthday gifts", "I don't have any expectations that MILs should give birthday gifts", "Since when is there an expectation for MILs to give birthday gifts", etc....

That is one very boring thread.

chanatron1000

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 6:37 pm

amother Honeysuckle wrote:

That is one very boring thread.

That's because there's not a lot to be said on the topic. Not every topic is going to be entertaining.

amother

Honeysuckle

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 6:45 pm

chanatron1000 wrote:

That's because there's not a lot to be said on the topic. Not every topic is going to be entertaining.

That's not the case. There are plenty of threads that have lots to be said, but lots of people still agree based on one similar perspective . Picture a post that has 20+ likes on it, and imagine all 20+ posters commenting on their approval based on that one idea. Now multiply that times x amount of well-written posts. Instead of having a thread with 10 pages, we'd have threads with 50+ pages, with the reader having to skim all the posts to find some new context.

chanatron1000

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 6:51 pm

That's assuming that every single person who clicks the like button would post "I like this" or "I agree." The reason there are so many likes is because it takes just one click.

amother

Wed, Dec 21 2022, 7:30 pm

amother Honeysuckle wrote:

This. I don't understand all the sensitivity about disagreeing. Are we really under the assumption that everyone agrees with our opinions. If you post in a public form, globally no less, I'm assuming you're posting to promote a conversation and not just to have your viewpoint restated back to you multiple times.

If you're looking for help and advice, wouldn't you want to get a general idea of which advice most people agree with, and which ones most people consider bad advice?

If we wouldn't have these button options, there wouldn't be a normal flow of conversation. The conversations would be interrupted with posts of people agreeing or disagreeing.

Maybe Yael should simply have a disclaimer appear when you log on. It can state - This site is for adults, where healthy conversations of differing opinions are encouraged. If you're currently not in a state to accept multiple different perspectives, please refrain from posting.

We can also have a 'safe' forum - where OP can choose to post a thread where we have no like or dislike options.

There will always be people abusing any setup, so as long as its a small minority I don't see why we need take that into account. If we try to account for every single possible way people can abuse something, this site won't be offering an enjoyable experience.

I like this idea.

Iymnok

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 9:07 am

Every couple months we have a thread like this.
Due to the passive aggressive hugs, hugs have been disabled on certain forums.

If Yael were to post a thread like this I’d value it. This is just the same old discussion/ complaints.

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, Dec 22 2022, 10:27 am

I think we should see the ability who hugged. But it could be a real person or a ima.other hugged. Sometimes someone has a real reason to be hugged. (They just survived a earthquake) just 3 people replied but it's amazing that the person gets over 100 hugs. Then there are example when someone says something controversial. As a reader if somone gets 100 hugs including some reliable posters. I assume to take the post with a grain of salt. As a poster if I would post something controversial and 1 random imamother gives me a hug. I would take it with a grain of salt. But if some reliable poster is the one giving me the hug. I would know It's possible I'm off mark.

I don't post controversial topics but I had once I got 1-2 hugs and 2 people wrote back they disagreed with what I said. I wondered what background/experience they come from.

Thwre is no option to vote this way. I would keep the like and hug. But give the the hug button the ability to veiw who hugged.

rubyred

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 11:03 am

Maybe a mean face button- for someone who said something not nice. I also like a clap hands button. The trouble with a dislike button is that if there are a bunch of dislikes and you see a post like that it’s much easier to click dislike. Same with hitting like- which is ok if you are agreeing. Maybe the dislike button can only be for people who are not “a mother” and the username should be visible. I also think hug should stay. If there were more options it could be people wouldn’t misuse hug.

amother

Gladiolus

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 11:20 am

I personally would get offended if my post is largely 'disagreed'

Congresswoman

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 11:49 am

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. I think this site is doing pretty great as is.

amother

Puce

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 11:51 am

Nope

amother

Obsidian

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 11:51 am

sounds like a good idea but what about if someone still decides to use the hug button as an insult like I feel bad for you or what a foolish statement etc,...

PinkFridge

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 2:11 pm

rubyred wrote:

I'm not sure if I like this. Not unless it means, didn't sound nice. Because some people don't express themselves clearly, or come across as much more ascerbic than they intended. Better we use our words and engage.

zaq

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 2:42 pm

jerusalem90 wrote:

Hugs are sometimes used that way now, but at least it's ambiguous. A dislike would remove all doubt.

"Disagree" is intellectual and nonjudgmental. A mature person is not hurt just because people disagree with her post. "Dislike," otoh, is emotional, judgmental and immature and most certainly should not be a reaction choice here. What purpose would it serve other than making people feel bad?

MrsDash

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 2:51 pm

I think any additional features like a "disagree" button would only cause more drama. I can see people using it in a passive aggressive way, not sure how, but they managed to do it with the "hug" button.

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