Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Chanukah
Did a/o NOT get tips?
  Previous  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Geranium


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2022, 8:51 pm
amother Ebony wrote:
I’m surprised to hear how few tips are gotten!
I tip every Chanukah, PTA, and Purim.
It’s a given!
I also send a gift before Rosh Hashana and at the end of the year.

Tips have nothing to do with how much they get paid. It’s basic decency to show appreciation, and the bonus is that they pay extra attention to my kid.

Count it into your annual budget, and you’ll find a way to make it work.
Everyone finds money for what is priority to them.


Um who are you to know my budget? Seriously? Some of us just don't have it. We don't have money for other "priorities" after tuition, rent, basic food. Not all of us get PEBT, Medicaid, food stamps, WIC... but apparently a tip is more important than food or my electric bill. Gotcha. And when I find that money tree I can decide how to best allocate the money. But until then, making something a priority won't magically make the money appear for it.


Tips are not mandatory and should never be expected. With these expectations, even if the salary was higher than a brain surgeon you would still be upset if you don't get tips. And if you tip your teachers so they pay more attention to your kid that IS DEFINITELY A BRIBE.
Back to top

amother
Viola


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2022, 8:58 pm
amother Geranium wrote:
Um who are you to know my budget? Seriously? Some of us just don't have it. We don't have money for other "priorities" after tuition, rent, basic food. Not all of us get PEBT, Medicaid, food stamps, WIC... but apparently a tip is more important than food or my electric bill. Gotcha. And when I find that money tree I can decide how to best allocate the money. But until then, making something a priority won't magically make the money appear for it.


Tips are not mandatory and should never be expected. With these expectations, even if the salary was higher than a brain surgeon you would still be upset if you don't get tips. And if you tip your teachers so they pay more attention to your kid that IS DEFINITELY A BRIBE.

Besides which, a teacher who only pays attention to the kids of parents who tipped us quite a sick individual and should not be teaching.
Back to top

amother
NeonYellow


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2022, 9:30 pm
.
Back to top

amother
Lily


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2022, 9:47 pm
OT here. I did receive something tip/chocolate from 1/4-1/3 of children I service. And it's not so much the money, didn't get much, it's more! Parents actually showing us they value how hard we work with their child. Yes, the agency should give a significant bonus which they don't! It's more the lack of appreciation. I constantly send home activities with OT written on it, occasional text mom or send pictures of what their child is doing and a thank you actually shows they value us! I understand some people don't have the money! I got a really nice thankful text from a mom! It shows they know we exist. We are grossly underpaid (many of us) and like most positions receive a holiday bonus, we should too! Please tell parents thank you and acknowledge you know they exist and work hard with your child. That's all.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2022, 11:03 pm
amother Chicory wrote:
Everyone wants the board of Ed jobs in frum schools so you get of yt and legal holidays etc and now when you realize your salary is not that of an actual full time employee your cry about not getting tips from hard working parents who are paying yeshiva tuition (and therefore are already shelling out loads of money each month for their child’s education). I’m sorry you made your bed, you have to live in it.


Hello is this post a joke!
Not normal to speak to someone like this.

I dont work FT? I work 9-5 m-th and 9-1:30 fridays How is that not full time? Would you like me to work Sundays too? I dont get health insurance or benefits or sick days. I was doing EI for 4 years and then switched to an agency.
Im not a hard working parent for working full time servicing Jewish kids in school and then coming home and being a mommy?
Yeah, youre right. I made my bed... 6 years of studying and close to 100k later. And I get rude parents and pretentious comments like yours! I hope you treat your kids therapists nicer than the attitude youre giving me
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2022, 11:04 pm
amother Viola wrote:
I do EI for an agency same as you. We work harder as we have to travel from place to place. Maybe I’m really just a moron that I don’t feel a need to complain. I feel grateful to have a job that I really enjoy and fulfills me, no job on earth is absolutely perfect, and we are lucky to have a job at all. And to feel this sense of “ where are my tips??” As a parent of children who have therapists and a therapist myself, I’m shocked for both. Especially especially especially, because of the current financial climate when families are stressed beyond. Even to think oh let them write me a thank you letter you’re right that is very nice even the right thing to do-but maybe assume either the mother doesn’t have the social understanding to do that, is too overwhelmed trying to survive, simply forgot etc. sorry about this I just feel that this post was in really bad taste.


Oh please. I did EI for 4 years and then switched to an agency. I know what the field is like. Who says EI therapists work harder than school based? They both have ways in which theyre difficult... its not a competition...

This post was not meant to be in bad taste. Its ok to say I feel under appreciated when parents cant even text me a freilichin chanukah, thank you for all that you do. I said in my OP a text or note goes a long way.
Back to top

amother
Cherry


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2022, 11:11 pm
I do SEIT and EI. I got a gift from 1 of 4 students. (as a high school teacher of 100 students, I got nothing from students themselves. a couple parents sent platters to the teachers room, which is thoughtful)
Nothing from P3 students but I don't work with them very regularly.
But to tell you the truth...my 10 year old left his envelopes for rebbe and p3 on the table two days in a row... so they will be getting their tips after chanuka.... TMI
Back to top

amother
Mayflower


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2022, 11:14 pm
Hey. I work with people all day. Some I know very personally. No-one told me happy chanukah . And Noone gave me gifts either
Back to top

amother
Viola


 

Post Fri, Dec 23 2022, 12:03 am
amother OP wrote:
Oh please. I did EI for 4 years and then switched to an agency. I know what the field is like. Who says EI therapists work harder than school based? They both have ways in which theyre difficult... its not a competition...

This post was not meant to be in bad taste. Its ok to say I feel under appreciated when parents cant even text me a freilichin chanukah, thank you for all that you do. I said in my OP a text or note goes a long way.

Again, it’s the feeling of entitlement to get thank yous at all. If you don’t expect them, you won’t be so sorely disappointed as you are. Any “helping” profession ( such as teachers, therapists, doctors
, Rabbis) are thankless jobs. That’s just the way it is. I know the parents appreciate me in their own way. And many women work in other jobs, do they all get gifts and thank yous?
And again not that I’m raking in any big bucks, but why do you think you’re underpaid? Don’t know your hourly rate but as far as mine goes I don’t any other job I can do in this field that pays this rate per half hour and I can work part time and make my own schedule.
Back to top

flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 23 2022, 12:53 am
amother OP wrote:
I call at the beginning of the year. I bought notebooks for all my students (from my own money) and write a note after every session on what we worked on and any feedback from the session I have. I also require parents to sign the letter showing they have read it, and parents write back to me if they have concerns, or questions about anything. I include the worksheet we worked on that day, and a separate page for HW. I text parents every 3 weeks with an update and I call once a month. What more do you want me to do?



Wow. I am impressed that you do all that!!! That is more than what most school based therapists do. It is a shame that you got 2/30 acknowledgements!
Back to top

amother
Poinsettia


 

Post Fri, Dec 23 2022, 1:10 am
The title of this thread is: did anyone else not get tips?

The answer is 90% of people do not get tips for Chanukah.
Why should you get tipped?
There seems to be an expectation in some places that teachers get tipped but therapists? I never heard of it. It wouldn't enter my mind that this is an expectation.

And I honestly found your original post quite triggering. I am paying school fees + therapy through the school + extra reading + a coach, my monthly add-ons for this child alone are over $1000 and I have another 8 kids. Do you know how hard I work to pay those bills????

To think that all these people are annoyed with me for not tipping them on top of what I already pay just makes me feel like throwing in the towel.

And for whoever it was who said if you make it a priority, you can find the money, I wish you all the best and that you should always be able to find money for anything you think is a priority but you obviously have never needed to cut back on essentials. If finding money for a pair of shoes to replace those with a hole in means juggling things, tipping therapists is not even on the radar.
Back to top

amother
Wine


 

Post Fri, Dec 23 2022, 6:55 am
Am I the only mom who can't put 2 words together to write a decent note? I used to feel awful about it but I gave up years ago. I send chocolate without a note, I hope they understand.
Back to top

amother
Ebony


 

Post Fri, Dec 23 2022, 7:25 am
amother Poinsettia wrote:
The title of this thread is: did anyone else not get tips?

The answer is 90% of people do not get tips for Chanukah.
Why should you get tipped?
There seems to be an expectation in some places that teachers get tipped but therapists? I never heard of it. It wouldn't enter my mind that this is an expectation.

And I honestly found your original post quite triggering. I am paying school fees + therapy through the school + extra reading + a coach, my monthly add-ons for this child alone are over $1000 and I have another 8 kids. Do you know how hard I work to pay those bills????

To think that all these people are annoyed with me for not tipping them on top of what I already pay just makes me feel like throwing in the towel.

And for whoever it was who said if you make it a priority, you can find the money, I wish you all the best and that you should always be able to find money for anything you think is a priority but you obviously have never needed to cut back on essentials. If finding money for a pair of shoes to replace those with a hole in means juggling things, tipping therapists is not even on the radar.


You can write a note, you can send a donut you made yourself, something.

I find it very hard to believe that out of 30 kids, 28 parents couldn’t find the time or the money to do something small.
Back to top

amother
Chicory


 

Post Fri, Dec 23 2022, 7:26 am
amother OP wrote:
Oh please. I did EI for 4 years and then switched to an agency. I know what the field is like. Who says EI therapists work harder than school based? They both have ways in which theyre difficult... its not a competition...

This post was not meant to be in bad taste. Its ok to say I feel under appreciated when parents cant even text me a freilichin chanukah, thank you for all that you do. I said in my OP a text or note goes a long way.


If you feel under appreciated in your job it’s time to find a new one. Your don’t blame your clients for not saying thank you more. It’s a job that you get paid to do.

You’re not a minimum wage waitress who relies on tips to complete their salary.
Back to top

amother
RosePink


 

Post Fri, Dec 23 2022, 7:50 am
Amother chicory you are very nasty.

OP I’m with you.
I never knew how hard teachers work until my dd became one this year. She is NEVER off.
I did not go visit her for shabbos Chanukah b/c she was too overwhelmed with her job & busy to have another stress on her head.

Everyone & I mean everyone can give to their teachers, morah, rebbes etc.
write a note if you have no money.
Put in a 2 dollar chocolate.

Write a note of thanks to the educators who take care of your children for the better part of the day.
It’s menchlich. Hakaras hatov.

I thank you OP from the bottom of my yiddeshe mommas heart for choosing this thankless, hard, never off, job to teach our children.

I’m sorry people are so small minded & cannot see this.
Back to top

amother
cornflower


 

Post Fri, Dec 23 2022, 8:24 am
I'm writing from both sides of the picture. I work in a school for students with special needs and out of the 20 students who I service I received 2 gift cards - one with and one without a thank you card. Both are very appreciated but totally not expected!

I also have multiple children receiving pull-out therapies and services. I sent thank you cards to more than 15 support staff members (speech, kriah, reading, OT, classroom assistant, etc.) each with a $10 gift card to a local coffee shop. I feel bad that I can only afford $10 but I wanted each person to know how much I appreciate what they are doing for my child. Cheap or not, at least they know I thought about them.
Back to top

amother
Lemonchiffon


 

Post Fri, Dec 23 2022, 9:10 am
amother RosePink wrote:
Amother chicory you are very nasty.

OP I’m with you.
I never knew how hard teachers work until my dd became one this year. She is NEVER off.
I did not go visit her for shabbos Chanukah b/c she was too overwhelmed with her job & busy to have another stress on her head.

Everyone & I mean everyone can give to their teachers, morah, rebbes etc.
write a note if you have no money.
Put in a 2 dollar chocolate.

Write a note of thanks to the educators who take care of your children for the better part of the day.
It’s menchlich. Hakaras hatov.

I thank you OP from the bottom of my yiddeshe mommas heart for choosing this thankless, hard, never off, job to teach our children.

I’m sorry people are so small minded & cannot see this.


I think this is nasty, even more so than her post. I think the current tips expectation and needing frequent hakaros hatov is a problem with the younger generation.

Tips is not part of a salary (leaving waitresses out of this debate). It is your performance evaluation - and results of your work that should be providing you with job satisfaction and feelings of success. If you're defining your work by the amount of tips you received, then the definition of tips is no longer applicable. It is not a sign of hakaros hatov or gratitude or anything. It makes it into a obligation, sort of like a paycheck.

Same goes for the concept of a thank you. People thank in different ways - some do it at every opportunity they get. Some do it at the end of service received. Some will thank with words, some will thank chocolate, some with a monetary gift, and some will never voice their thanks. That's life. To delegate how and when one should be thanked is inappropriate - even if thanking people is the right thing to do.

Furthermore, people lives can be extremely hectic or some are stuck in difficult places. They may not have the time, or money or the presence of mind to reach out at the moment. So pressuring people into thanking you because 'its' only mentchlich' is actually not the mentschlich thing to do. To circle back to my previous point - you shouldn't be measuring your success by the number of tips or thank you cards. You need to have enough self-awareness and maturity to evaluate your work by the results of your work.

Additionally, the mindset you display above is very off-putting and makes people want to tip less. It implies that teachers work so much harder than everyone else. It suggests to the other overwhelmed and equally hardworking mothers that you put your workload on a pedestal above everyone else's, and that everyone is obligated to come to the same conclusion. True, teachers/school therapists work very hard but so do plenty of others in various different fields. When you fail to acknowledge that, and pressure parents to reward you because you work so very hard, it falls flat to the parents who literally can't breathe with their own daily workload.

If it's truly Hakaros Hatov and honest thank yous that you're looking for, you wouldn't be pressuring and chasing people after them. Because chasing after them and pressuring people to give that to you is no longer an honest assessment of people's opinion of your work success.
Back to top

amother
Geranium


 

Post Fri, Dec 23 2022, 10:15 am
amother Chicory wrote:
If you feel under appreciated in your job it’s time to find a new one. Your don’t blame your clients for not saying thank you more. It’s a job that you get paid to do.

You’re not a minimum wage waitress who relies on tips to complete their salary.


THIS. I get zero tips or bonuses from my very intense full time job. I am underpaid for my worth. Definitely underappreciated. My job literally is about saving lives and most people don't think about this until their loved one needs it. I think I once got a thank you CARD from a client. In years of work. ONE CARD (no check).
But I go in and do my job because I want to help our clients. Because it pays my bills. I don't complain we don't get tips. I don't expect anyone to give me a thank you. And then I am not resentful or disappointed. When I start feeling burnt out then I will look for a new job.

It is the expectation that leads to resentment. Don't expect or assume and life will be happier. Now any verbal appreciation makes a big difference.
Back to top

amother
Geranium


 

Post Fri, Dec 23 2022, 10:17 am
amother Lemonchiffon wrote:
I think this is nasty, even more so than her post. I think the current tips expectation and needing frequent hakaros hatov is a problem with the younger generation.

Tips is not part of a salary (leaving waitresses out of this debate). It is your performance evaluation - and results of your work that should be providing you with job satisfaction and feelings of success. If you're defining your work by the amount of tips you received, then the definition of tips is no longer applicable. It is not a sign of hakaros hatov or gratitude or anything. It makes it into a obligation, sort of like a paycheck.

Same goes for the concept of a thank you. People thank in different ways - some do it at every opportunity they get. Some do it at the end of service received. Some will thank with words, some will thank chocolate, some with a monetary gift, and some will never voice their thanks. That's life. To delegate how and when one should be thanked is inappropriate - even if thanking people is the right thing to do.

Furthermore, people lives can be extremely hectic or some are stuck in difficult places. They may not have the time, or money or the presence of mind to reach out at the moment. So pressuring people into thanking you because 'its' only mentchlich' is actually not the mentschlich thing to do. To circle back to my previous point - you shouldn't be measuring your success by the number of tips or thank you cards. You need to have enough self-awareness and maturity to evaluate your work by the results of your work.

Additionally, the mindset you display above is very off-putting and makes people want to tip less. It implies that teachers work so much harder than everyone else. It suggests to the other overwhelmed and equally hardworking mothers that you put your workload on a pedestal above everyone else's, and that everyone is obligated to come to the same conclusion. True, teachers/school therapists work very hard but so do plenty of others in various different fields. When you fail to acknowledge that, and pressure parents to reward you because you work so very hard, it falls flat to the parents who literally can't breathe with their own daily workload.

If it's truly Hakaros Hatov and honest thank yous that you're looking for, you wouldn't be pressuring and chasing people after them. Because chasing after them and pressuring people to give that to you is no longer an honest assessment of people's opinion of your work success.


Applause Applause
You said it way better than I could. THIS x100
Applause Applause
Back to top

amother
Ultramarine


 

Post Fri, Dec 23 2022, 11:34 am
amother Wine wrote:
Am I the only mom who can't put 2 words together to write a decent note? I used to feel awful about it but I gave up years ago. I send chocolate without a note, I hope they understand.


There is actually a post on imamother of what to write and examples. I started using it and found it helpful and now bookmarked the page.

Let me know if you want me to link it.
Back to top
Page 6 of 7   Previous  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Chanukah

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Home every Shabbos. Practical tips please? How does it work?
by amother
11 Today at 8:03 pm View last post
Pesach out-of-town tips
by amother
7 Yesterday at 8:26 pm View last post
Tips for first time drinking on purim
by amother
22 Fri, Mar 22 2024, 3:11 pm View last post
HS teachers and tips ?
by amother
4 Fri, Mar 22 2024, 11:54 am View last post
Share your kitchen tips and hacks
by top mom
49 Wed, Mar 06 2024, 6:53 am View last post