Did a/o NOT get tips?

fc8899

Fri, Dec 23 2022, 9:29 am

I didn’t read all the comments. I’ve been an slp for close to 10 years and I just want to say that parents have no idea how not only are we your child’s therapist we are also their lawyer. we are there explaining to the teacher to go easy on their child. we are there when they need an emergency annual report that takes 2 hours and only have 2 hour notice.
this being said I have never ever expected a tip. but the attitude of parents says we make so much money anyway is not right. we went to college. we work hard and we only get paid per diem so in reality it’s not as much as they think. all we ask is for parents to speak to us nicely and say thank you when we made a breakthrough. I’ve had a mother give me a list of demands how to treat her child, and question everything I did in a nasty way.
this past week I had my selectively mute client come out of the classroom and complete an activity. when I messaged the mom I got zero response. and that’s what the op is talking about. just basic decency. I have never counted tips. it’s just throughout the year saying thank you.

amother

RosePink

Fri, Dec 23 2022, 11:36 am

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

I think this is nasty, even more so than her post. I think the current tips expectation and needing frequent hakaros hatov is a problem with the younger generation.

Tips is not part of a salary (leaving waitresses out of this debate). It is your performance evaluation - and results of your work that should be providing you with job satisfaction and feelings of success. If you're defining your work by the amount of tips you received, then the definition of tips is no longer applicable. It is not a sign of hakaros hatov or gratitude or anything. It makes it into a obligation, sort of like a paycheck.

Same goes for the concept of a thank you. People thank in different ways - some do it at every opportunity they get. Some do it at the end of service received. Some will thank with words, some will thank chocolate, some with a monetary gift, and some will never voice their thanks. That's life. To delegate how and when one should be thanked is inappropriate - even if thanking people is the right thing to do.

Furthermore, people lives can be extremely hectic or some are stuck in difficult places. They may not have the time, or money or the presence of mind to reach out at the moment. So pressuring people into thanking you because 'its' only mentchlich' is actually not the mentschlich thing to do. To circle back to my previous point - you shouldn't be measuring your success by the number of tips or thank you cards. You need to have enough self-awareness and maturity to evaluate your work by the results of your work.

Additionally, the mindset you display above is very off-putting and makes people want to tip less. It implies that teachers work so much harder than everyone else. It suggests to the other overwhelmed and equally hardworking mothers that you put your workload on a pedestal above everyone else's, and that everyone is obligated to come to the same conclusion. True, teachers/school therapists work very hard but so do plenty of others in various different fields. When you fail to acknowledge that, and pressure parents to reward you because you work so very hard, it falls flat to the parents who literally can't breathe with their own daily workload.

If it's truly Hakaros Hatov and honest thank yous that you're looking for, you wouldn't be pressuring and chasing people after them. Because chasing after them and pressuring people to give that to you is no longer an honest assessment of people's opinion of your work success.

Forget it. There’s no sense in talking to a brick wall.

I’m bowing out now. Sorry I even chimed in

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Jan 01 2023, 5:00 am

amother OP wrote:

Im a SLP in a school and have 30 students on my case load.
I got 2 chanukah gifts

Im just feel under appreciated. I spend so much of my own money on my students and I spend hours doing session notes, annual reviews, paperwork, speaking to parents, texting parents... Especially since this field doesn't pay anything.

It would have been nice to get a thank you card or text....

I personally am in the beginning of pregnancy and barely function. Had no energy to send money to my son's school, bc I am feeling so sick and spend most time in bed. ......

My daughters school collected money and had zelle, so I gave them around $50 and gave my babysitter $18 and a doughnut and gift. For my son's school my energy was out, I did not have koach to deal with it anymore.

Now, my job didn't do any employee appreciation thing for chanukah and I don't get extra bonus or anything not chanukah, not yomtov.

How much do you make per hour, just curious? For me chanukah gifts are pretty expensive, I get 30 in office. At this point in economy spending $80 is a lot for me with all tuition and food costs....still I gave what I could .

In general, when people feel underappreciated and demand hakaras ha tov, it's a little putting off. I don't like the office atmosphere in my office, and I am looking to change my job if it doesn't change, bc job has to show appreciation. I think your hanhalah should really take care of you,not parents, I cannot worry about teachers when I am collapsing myself and carry a guilt that I didn't say thank you enough. Really, my house is collapsing now. And I have to bring something to teacher Purim, now I will feel guilty I didn't give on Chanukah. Why? If you are overworked and underpaid for your workload, isn't it time to figure things out with your employer? I can't know how many kids a teacher takes care of. Why didn't you expect your boss to show you appreciation for your hard hard work?

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Jan 01 2023, 5:33 am

fc8899 wrote:

.

Validating yourself as a teacher cannot come at expense of blaming parents. I feel resentful by these posts, I don't take blame from people and it's not best way to get through to me and make me behave nicer. I don't want to write any notes after reading this thread......and not give gifts .

I work at position where none thanks me, and mostly comes with complaints, think customer service type of job, and I am still grateful for my ability to collect paycheck. My work stress is part of why I am being paid. If what I do is not enough, I will not do more for the teachers after this post , overtired and overburdened by tuition and necessity to bring income.

amother

Whitewash

Sun, Jan 01 2023, 7:26 am

amother Olive wrote:

Does anyone tip high school teachers? My daughters have 14 teachers each and some don't even know their names at this point in the school year. PTA coming up, what do you do?

I do not tip girls hs teachers as each spends a very small amount of time w my daughters and there are many teachers. If my daughter feels close enough with one or two that she requests to bring them mm on purim I will add a check. I feel bad, but that's the nature of the job.

In my dds hs the girls all chip in chanukah time and that gets distributed to the teachers. It's probably a nice extra ( I'm sure many girls ask their parents for the funds. Mine sometimes do sometimes don't.)