When you bring your toddler to visit family

amother

Viola

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 9:37 am

For me, it's if I would help clean up the table where the adults are sitting, then I would wipe off/clean up the basic mess my baby made. If people aren't done eating then I assume me and kid will come back to table, and I'll have to put them on the highchair again, so there's no point in cleaning up just then.

I would not spray with Windex but if my mother wants I'll take the tray to the sink and wash it off. Taking the tray off at my MIL upsets her so I clean it off with napkins and water.

Chayalle

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 1:23 pm

amother Mint wrote:

Then I guess you’re not feeding her...
My kids make a mess while eating anything. It’s part of being a toddler. (Unless by toddler you mean over 2.5- then they start being a bit neater)

I most certainly did feed my toddlers, and did not have them making a mess. Call it the Hungarian blood in my body. I never had my kids making a mess eating, and by feeding them and showing them how, they learned to eat neatly at a young age.

I still have memories of my grandmother AH teaching us to eat neatly with no crumbs getting out of our plates, and getting rewarded with chocolate or some other treat for it. I was pretty young at that memory. I didn't grow up with toddlers eating on their own making a mess all around them.

I love sitting and feeding my niece (2) and nephew (1) and neither of them get messy in the process. (and their 5 year old brother can eat neatly on his own.)

(let the tomatoes start...)

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 3:34 pm

Chayalle wrote:

It's funny.
I grew up that way.
But I do baby led weaning and the mess is insane.

I still choose to do it though Smile

Chayalle

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 3:38 pm

amother Aquamarine wrote:

It's funny.
I grew up that way.
But I do baby led weaning and the mess is insane.

I still choose to do it though Smile

If it works for you in your house, great.
But would you do it in someone else's house?

BrisketBoss

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 3:38 pm

amother Aquamarine wrote:

It's funny.
I grew up that way.
But I do baby led weaning and the mess is insane.

I still choose to do it though Smile

Yup, I have no fear of mess. I do yogurt every morning. I just don't get them dressed before breakfast until they're older.

BrisketBoss

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 3:39 pm

Chayalle wrote:

If it works for you in your house, great.
But would you do it in someone else's house?

I do BLW everywhere! Usually not yogurt when we're sleeping at my in-laws', though. Wink

BrachaBatya

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 3:59 pm

I can't imagine being a guest and not cleaning up after my own baby.

Chayalle

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 4:01 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

I do BLW everywhere! Usually not yogurt when we're sleeping at my in-laws', though. Wink

Great...who cleans up the mess?
If you were an OOT guest placed in my house, would you expect me to clean up after your toddler, or is that your job?

BrisketBoss

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 4:22 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Great...who cleans up the mess?
If you were an OOT guest placed in my house, would you expect me to clean up after your toddler, or is that your job?

See my comment on the first page.

potatokugel1

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 9:04 pm

The 3 people that voted that they leave it as is, go back and clean the OP's tray or you won't get invited back next year.

imaima

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 3:43 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Where are the middos of of those people? Where is the basic derech Eretz and manners? They think the hostess has a cleaning crew waiting to clean up after them?

Being a guest with a toddler is always an undertaking. We don’t know if the guests felt pressured to come because it’s a „family thing“ and it was actually past bedtime and what not.
Whenever I am leaving a party with little kids I am on the edge and just want it to be over… it’s not a question of cleaning or not. I sometimes cannot physically handle the tension, crying snd mess

imaima

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 3:52 am

amother Dustypink wrote:

I wouldn't allow my toddler to make such a mess to begin with in someone else's house.

So do you feed them at all? Do you feed them in advance?

imaima

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 3:54 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

If your see a toddler (not yours) smearing cake with chocolate frosting all over the hostess' white sofa and doing nothing about it you are kind of allowing things to happen.

I thought we had a high chair in this story

How did the cake end up near sofa?

amother

Daphne

Fri, Jan 13 2023, 3:27 am

Chayalle wrote:

Great...who cleans up the mess?
If you were an OOT guest placed in my house, would you expect me to clean up after your toddler, or is that your job?

For this reason I stay at my home and don't go anywhere. My kids have all the setup they need here, and I don't have to go crazy watching them all the time out of fear they will mess smth. It ends up being a non-stop job getaway and I don't get any rest over visiting.

And I have a super active 2 y old who refuses to sit in the high chair, and wants to walk with food around my house, or she makes a huge tantrum. Bibs don't really help, because she wants to walk around with food, and I have to clean every place she goes to.

I smile when people talk about kids eating neat. Sure, my kids use knife and fork at the age of 3, lol.
Try leashing a two year old, or find the time to sit with them all the time feeding them......I can't really leash my child, and as hard as I try, she would see food and start screaming if it's not given to her, she really eats tons and likes to eat more.

I hate visiting and I hate when people host and then complain, it's so so stressful to be not in your routine, without all the clothing you need, without kids toys, backyard, friends. It's just easier to stay home and be comfortable. I'd rather clean myself after shabos /event ,but go to sleep and let kids play themselves while I rest, rather than being obsessed with cleaning hostess house and being a watchdog asking kids not to touch, not to go there, to be careful around non kid friendly fragile antique object etc.

I clean up the mess at my own home, but reserve the right to let it go over shabos or yomtov, and get some break from cleaning. Can't really go to other people's home and be worried it will be not left clean enough ,or that we don't behave good enough, or anything else. I work too hard all week to have time to extra work over shabos. So much easier to send my kids to playroom and let them do there whatever they want, rather than go somewhere and be constantly alert watching kids in non familiar environment.

Can't stand when people host, invite guests themselves, put that smile on the face, and then complain behind their backs how they were tired, how they did more than others, how people messed their home etc. Don't want stress-dont host, avoid negative emotions, and don't vent behind guests back they were ungrateful. Then they host same people, and complain to me about same guests how their kids did smth again. I find it disgusting to vent out behind people's back, in general. No need to be a saint martyr, JUST DONT HOST THEM!

I don't host much and dont go to anyone, and enjoy my freedom to spend holidays and shabosim the way I like, no resentment from dealing with people.nothing like making mess in my own home knowing I am the boss here and none gonna scold me for it (besides my husband*). It is so so relaxing!