Name a question that can't have a sensitive answer.

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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zaq

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:43 pm

amother Caramel wrote:

I really didn't want to say, but since everyone keeps pushing for the details, I'll tell you. We met at the clothing gemach. We bonded over our shared sense of fashion, and have been friends ever since.

That's lovely, but there's no need to say that if you're embarrassed. You can say you met while clothes shopping, bonded over your shared sense of fashion, and have been friends ever since. דער בעסטער ליגן איז דער אמת.

amother

Caramel

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:50 pm

zaq wrote:

But why is it up to me to come up with a neutral response? It's really such a sensitive question. Better to stick with neutral topics, like the price of eggs these days.

abound

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:52 pm

What time is your flight?

amother

Mulberry

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:54 pm

amother Smokey wrote:

What color is that leaf?

They are color blind
Ha I see others said it too

amother

Caramel

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 8:55 pm

abound wrote:

What time is your flight?

Why would you automatically assume I'm from out of town. Do I really stick out so badly?

zaq

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 9:00 pm

amother Caramel wrote:

But why is it up to me to come up with a neutral response? It's really such a sensitive question. Better to stick with neutral topics, like the price of eggs these days.

Hardly a neutral topic. I'm living on a fixed income, or no income, and I can't afford to buy eggs.

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 9:16 pm

I know this thread is a joke but here are some tips.

I like to ask open ended questions
How are things going vs how are you (if they’re in the middle of going through something there’s nothing wrong with fine B”H, or they can answer a bit more in depth if they feel like it)
Tell me about your family instead of how many kids do you have (if they don’t have parents and/or siblings maybe they have a grandmother, niece or cousin they’d like to talk about)
What do you like best about your town vs where are you from
Do you have anything you do for fun

compliments always work . They can lead to more discussion
I love your bag
Wow! You have beautiful eyes
Your skirt is gorgeous
Love the texture of your top
Just noticed how you helped that little boy, I loved the way you got down on his level

Etc
Get creative

amother

Stone

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 10:11 pm

OP, you'll never get a right answer obvs. Because there is none.

SO, how about we switch your question around to: What questions should you proceed with caution? Or what question might be a sensitive question to many today?

I'll start:
How many kids do you have?
Did you lose weight?

NechaMom

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 11:05 pm

Why are there so many questions?
How about just talking, listening, complimenting, smiling, fiddling with the phone?
I don’t have so many questions past “How are you”, which is not really a question since many people walk away before anyone can answer.

boysrus

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 11:12 pm

sequoia wrote:

It’s raining rockets.

I keep thinking about you Sequoia. I am davening for your safety, I hope you are holding up ok. Please let us know that you are ok!

zaq

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 11:14 pm

amother Hotpink wrote:

I know this thread is a joke but here are some tips.

I like to ask open ended questions
How are things going vs how are you
Tell me about your family instead of how many kids do you have
What do you like best about your town vs where are you from
Do you have anything you do for fun

Are you kidding me? If someone started asking me this type of question I'd be clutching my pearls, edging unobtrusively away and frantically trying to signal my dh to rescue me. "Tell me about your family" from someone I don't even know? "How are things going?" Why would I tell you how things are going? "How are you" is a conventional formula that everyone knows is not a real question. "How are things going" is a real question and rather too intrusive to ask a total stranger. What do I like best about the place I'm from when you don't even know where I'm from? First ask me where I'm from, at least, otherwise you sound like a kid who has a social-studies assignment and is planning to use my answers for it. And, sorry, but what do you do for fun sounds like a pickup line from some greasy guy in a sleazy bar. Or maybe a sleazy guy in a greasy bar. Why would I share this with someone I just met, haven't necessarily clicked with and, if she keeps up with this mode of interrogation, never will?

amother

Mayflower

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 11:27 pm

theoneandonly wrote:

How dare you push the emotional labor of steering this conversation onto me.

You are good!

amother

Stonewash

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 12:05 am

How do you know the ba'al simcha can be touchy. Though it's pretty easy to lie if needed.

She's my therapist. Or mentor. Or client. etc

zaq

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 12:07 am

amother Stonewash wrote:

How do you know the ba'al simcha can be touchy. Though it's pretty easy to lie if needed.

She's my therapist. Or mentor. Or client. etc

do people generally invite their therapists or parole officers to their simchas?

amother

Gray

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 12:17 am

amother NeonYellow wrote:

If you’re uncomfortable with a question someone asks, you just up and walk away? Never heard that one before.

Or you pretend to freeze like kourtney kardashian did when asked a question she didn’t want to respond to LOL

Link below

tweety1

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 1:53 am

amother Silver wrote:

A recipe? How?

Hm… how about how are you?

Where are you from?

What do you do (if you’re a sahm that’s fine w me and if you’re in between jobs maybe I’ll have an idea for you!)

How do you know the Baal simcha?

I asked that recently from someone. I later learned that the baal simcha recently got a degree of life coaching or something similar and this lady was her client. No you can't ask this question either.

amother

DarkMagenta

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 2:02 am

amother Acacia wrote:

Yes, like from an online forum and being asked in a yeshivishe/chassidishe setting lol

Yup, I have a close friend I made here on imamother.
When asked how I know her, I say, it's a long story! - It is!!!

As an aside, I'm finding this thread to be so ridiculous and funny, thanx for the laughs!!!

theoneandonly

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 3:11 am

amother Mayflower wrote:

You are good!

Are you insinuating that other imamothers posting here are bad? Upholding the good/bad dichotomy is classist and must be abolished.

But what I really meant to say is thank you Wink

doodlesmom

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 2:28 pm

LeeR wrote:

The only question I can think of that wouldn’t have a potentially sensitive answer is “what is your name?”

But what is the point of knowing someone’s name if you can’t know anything else about them Wink

I actually sat near a young newly divorced friend who was asked what her name was. And then questioned what her maiden name was when in reality she was called by her maiden name…..the woman insisted on repeating the question until she was bluntly told…..

doodlesmom

Fri, Dec 30 2022, 2:36 pm

amother Stone wrote:

A neighbor just asked my sil “ did you gain a lot of weight? Gee thanks, I did

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