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Why do we shame moms parenting??
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#BestBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 10:35 am
politics removed

Since the gentler parenting started in 1960s teens and young adults have more

Mental illness

Suicide

Eating disorders, self harm

Narcissism, bullying, LESS empathy,

Failure to become independent, self supporting,

less likely to marry

High divorce rate

gentle parenting does not have good success rate
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BrisketBoss




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 10:38 am
Respectful parenting existed as a concept in the 60's, though not with all we know now. I have a great book from then: Children: The Challenge.

However, I would not say that was mainstream practice. Permissive parenting became more popular in the 60's due to political events. You realize this isn't that, right?
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#BestBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 10:43 am
Based on your posts, I would say it is permissive parenting.

Per your posts, chutzpah is permitted, there isn't a "hierarchy " children are equals.
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 10:52 am
GLUE wrote:
I read something years ago,

"Years ago we used to burn witch's now we burn mothers"

The person was trying to show that now-a-days we blame the mothers for everything. It's all the mothers fault if there is something wrong with the kid.

THIS THIS THIS
Every issue even with infertility most people assume the woman has a problem and not the man.
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BrisketBoss




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 10:54 am
Bnei Berak 10 wrote:
THIS THIS THIS
Every issue even with infertility most people assume the woman has a problem and not the man.


I brought up my husband on the high chair cleaning thread. I was really surprised how little husbands were mentioned otherwise. They're not present at these meals?

In other contexts here I do see multiple people asking about the husband so I was not expecting this.
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 10:58 am
BB, please enjoy this gentle parenting book from 1871.

https://www.gutenberg.org/cach......html
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 11:03 am
BrisketBoss wrote:
I brought up my husband on the high chair cleaning thread. I was really surprised how little husbands were mentioned otherwise. They're not present at these meals?

In other contexts here I do see multiple people asking about the husband so I was not expecting this.

On that thread at was actually mentioned by one poster about husbands in think.
It's not new that the woman is to blame. Even Adam Harishon blamed HaShem by saying "the woman that you have me..."
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#BestBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 11:07 am
sequoia wrote:
BB, please enjoy this gentle parenting book from 1871.

https://www.gutenberg.org/cach......html


Thank you.
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amother
Lightyellow


 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 11:24 am
#BestBubby wrote:
Once scientists say a man can get pregnant, you know science is corrupted and just government propaganda.

I trust evidence that we can all see with our eyes.

Since the gentler parenting started in 1960s teens and young adults have more

Mental illness

Suicide

Eating disorders, self harm

Narcissism, bullying, LESS empathy,

Failure to become independent, self supporting,

less likely to marry

High divorce rate

gentle parenting does not have good success rate


Gentle parenting didn't get big until the past 10 years. I'm a millenial, and my parents certainly didn't use it. I do use it.

There are sooooo many other things that have changed since pre 1960s. Isn't the 1960s around the time when refridgerators became the household norm? Maybe refridgeration is causing all the mental illness....

I blame the lack of independence, not the gentleness. Each generation, kids have less independence, less opportunity to play outside unsupervised, or even indoors unsupervised. Each generation has parents nore hovering over them anxiously screeching "do it exactly like this!".

My parents were beaten, I was merely spanked. I was not harmed by not being beaten. My parents got jobs and driver's liscenses (not their own cars because their parents weren't rich, but they occasionally were allowed to borrow the car). I wasn't allowed to do get a job or a driver's liscense because my parents wanted to "keep me safe". That harmed me.
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amother
Moonstone


 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 11:29 am
There are many unhealthy parents who are parenting with permissive parenting, they are doing it as the opposite of the extreme they grew up with. They often think they are practicing gentle parenting and they give gentle parenting a very bad name. In real life I know more people who use permissive parenting than gentle parenting.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 12:48 pm
I'm not sure how this thread turned into bashing a certain type of parenting!! The irony!

I think parents across the board really do try hard, and especially if someone is asking use the opportunity to speak kindly especially if you worry about their children. You can explain in a kind way it doesn't need to be condescending and talking down.

I'm a big fan of gentle/ respectful parenting, I just don't get why some of its proponents can be so militant when they see someone doing something that doesn't seem right.
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amother
Sand


 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 1:01 pm
#BestBubby wrote:
In my opinion, liberal political views have a big impact on parenting.

And with worse outcomes.

Wow, talk about prejudice! There are plenty of parents on both ends of the political spectrum who are great parents and not-so-great parents. Whether you allow your child to eat dessert before they eat their vegetables is not directed by whether or not you are a Trump supporter! 🤔
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amother
Lightyellow


 

Post Sun, Jan 01 2023, 4:49 pm
amother OP wrote:
I'm not sure how this thread turned into bashing a certain type of parenting!! The irony!

I think parents across the board really do try hard, and especially if someone is asking use the opportunity to speak kindly especially if you worry about their children. You can explain in a kind way it doesn't need to be condescending and talking down.

I'm a big fan of gentle/ respectful parenting, I just don't get why some of its proponents can be so militant when they see someone doing something that doesn't seem right.


Disagreeing with a parenting philosophy is not mom shaming, that's just having an opinion. It's when you go after the individual moms that it becomes mom shaming.

"Parents should not let their kids eat hotdogs because not only are they a choking hazard, but they are very unhealthy even if you don't suffocate on them". -- not mom shaming, just having an opinion.

"You, amother rosewine, wrote in your post asking how to get ketchip stains out of childrens' clothing, that your kid ate hotdogs, what is wrong you?! Do you have no brain? Have you been living under a rock and never been informed how unhealthy hotdogs are?" -- mom shaming.

To make things worse, no one even considered that maybe Dad gave the kid the hotdogs. And if Dad wrote the exact same post (on imafather) the same person who shamed Mom would be telling him "You fed your kids? You're a superhero! Let Mom do the laundry, that's the least she can do after you fed them!".
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